"I'm an angle freak."
"I thought hockey players were the reason that figure skaters have toe picks?"
"It's like living in a haunted toilet."
"What did you do on Sunday? Oh, we sat down and made fun of the grocery coupons"
"I have a problem. I'm one noodle short."
"Dan, are you Catharine the Great?
"Yes."
"Am I your aunt?
"I think so."
"He had way too much facial hair for his own good"
"Monkeys don't hop, smart one."
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!"
"And now you've ruined my pants!"
"You pretend to work, and I'll pretend to pay you."
"Are you in your own way?"
"My toast can jump higher than your toast."
"I think the door just ate my shoe."
"Nothing worse than a mechanical device that's smarter than me."
"Wait. What are zoos?"
"Zippers are always explosive."
"And that's how Republicans do it."
"Someone turn off the cooler."
"Finally, download the bunny!"
"CUBA! I'm going to take over Cuba."
"We're going to start WW1"
"I like new student meetings. They taste good."
"Babies taste like chicken."
"But dogs aren't a geometric shape!"
"I'd like your announcements"
"Don't point your eyebrow."