Chapter 27

Michaela was very quiet all the way home. Too quiet! With the steady movement she gradually relaxed further and further down into the seat and leant against Sully's shoulder. Occasionally she'd reach out and run her hand caressingly over his thigh. Though this was a pleasant sensation for Sully, it was also uncharacteristic of Michaela.

Only a few hundred yards short of the homestead, he unexpectedly drew the wagon to a halt and turned to face her. "You aint yourself," he said gently. "Why?"

She frowned and muttered, "I'm just tired ..."

"Don' figure that's it," he rejoined. "But if it is the reason .. then there's only one thing for it .."

"What's that?" she asked, puzzled.

"Ya went back ta work too soon ... ya need ta cut back agin ... til you're stronger," rejoined Sully, knowing what her reaction would inevitably be.

"I can't do that!" she exclaimed. "And its my decision ... not yours," she added angrily.

He chuckled. "That's better ... the fire's back in your eyes," he said proudly. She blushed, frowned and leant back against the wagon seat. He immediately pulled her close in against himself, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her temple. "It really was a bad mornin' huh?" he murmured against her ear.

She sighed. "Mmm," she replied softly.

"Got somethin' for ya," he said lovingly. "Somethin' ta cheer ya up." He reached into the back, withdrew a small bunch of wildflowers and handed them to her. He was startled when her eyes filled with tears. "Michaela?" he asked with concern. "They're just flowers ... I thought you'd like 'em ...."

She instantly grasped his hand and said soulfully, "Oh Sully ... I *do* like them ... truly ... Its just that ..." She stopped, unsure how to explain.

"Just what?" he asked gently.

She took a deep breath. "I .. I ... went over to Hank's to see Myrna this morning ..."

"She's alright aint she?" Sully interjected abruptly . "That fella aint bin back?"

She sighed. "He's been back ... He didn't hurt her ... even gave her flowers ... to say sorry ..."

Sully smiled ruefully. "Now I get it," he said, eying his small bouquet. "I'll put 'em in back agin." He reached for the flowers.

"No ... please don't!" exclaimed Michaela, holding onto them firmly. "That's not what I meant ..." She lifted her flowers to her nose and breathed in the sweet scent. "It was just that these flowers ... ah ... make such a contrast ..."

"How's that?"

"She was so proud of them ...," murmured Michaela. She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering. "But for all the wrong reasons Sully ... ," she said plaintively. "How can such a gift have so many different meanings? ... They're all flowers ... whether they be daisies, wildflowers ... roses ...." She stopped and gulped, then added, "You gave these to me with so much love ... but the others had nothing to do with that ...."

Sully frowned. There was something else happening here he didn't quite understand.

She went on, "Myrna's flowers were a token ... something to say 'sorry I abused you' ... How could he think that would make a difference?"

Sully lovingly caressed her hand. "But it did," he said quietly. "At least to her ..."

Michaela shook her head. "I don't understand how any woman could forgive a man for abusing her ... whether he brings her flowers or not ..."

"Myrna comes from .. an' lives ... in a different world to you Michaela," he reasoned gently.

"That's what *she* said," she returned ruefully. "As a doctor I thought I'd seen it all over the years ... Myrna certainly isn't the first abused woman I've come across ... but today ... well ... her situation seemed to effect me more than usual ... I want her to be safe ... and I want her to be happy ... like I am ... with you ..."

In response, he pulled her in close against his chest. "Myrna's gonna have ta take charge o' her own life Michaela," he murmured against her hair. "You can't do it for her ..."

"I know," she said softly. "That's why its so frustrating." She nestled in against him, warmed by his loving arms and the spring sunshine. "And then Teresa came in late ... my last patient for the day ...," she added unexpectedly. "Another situation where I can't help ... but so desperately want to see her happy ..."

"She actually came to see ya huh?" asked Sully I wonder. "Seems the two of 'em have made good progress ..."

Michaela smiled despite her melancholy. "Yes ... that was evident," she agreed. "But Teresa's so desperate for a baby ..."

"Ya know how that feels hmm?" offered Sully.

She nodded. "Its hard at times to keep the world in perspective ... when your own life is everything you dreamed it would be ..." She looked up into his eyes. "That sounds silly .... even melodramatic ... doesn't it?" she said. "But twice this morning I felt so much for my patients ..."

"An' knowin' you ... ya felt a little guilty," Sully suggested wisely.

She again nodded and lowered her eyes. "I have a husband who would no more lay a hand on me in anger than carry a rifle ... and I have five beautiful children ...," she murmured.

"Ya can't take the world's problems on ya own shoulders Michaela," Sully advised gently. Michaela looked up and smiled ruefully, prompting him to add quickly, "I know ... I know ... I bin known ta do it in the past too."

"We make quite a pair don't we?" she said softly. "But this morning ... for some reason .. it all got to me ... I felt like I wanted to come out here to the homestead and hide myself away ..."

Sully's brow creased in thought. Had she just provided him with the perfect opening? "Actually ... I bin thinkin' Michaela," he began slowly. "What would ya think about gittin' away for a bit?"

She peered up at him quizzically. "You mean for a couple of days .. .to Denver ... or out into the woods?" she asked.

"Nah ... maybe somethin' bigger an' better 'an that," he suggested. "You've bin wantin' ta go to San Francisco for years now ..."

"But that'd take weeks!" she exclaimed. "We couldn't do that ... I've only just started back at the clinic ... you're working on Matthew's homestead ... then there's the wedding in a few weeks time ..." She trailed off, adding under her breath, and with a touch of whimsy, "Its impossible."

"I've bin thinkin' about it ... an' I don' reckon it is," returned Sully, giving her a squeeze.

"But the children ... the wedding ... Matthew's house," she protested, albeit weakly.

"We'd take Katie an' William of course ... an' Brian's always wanted ta visit his pa," stated Sully, his tone persuasive. "The weddin's still nearly two months off ..."

"Six weeks actually," interjected Michaela.

He chuckled. "Six weeks then ... plenty o' time," he continued. "Matthew's homestead is goin' real well now that Hank's bin helpin' ... only a few weeks work left ... an' a lotta stuff Matthew an' Kathleen'll wanna do on their own ..." He paused and eyed her hopefully. "Colleen thinks it's a good idea," he announced.

Michaela frowned. You've been talking about this with Colleen?" she asked a little put out.

He admitted sheepishly, "Actually ... she suggested it ... she's worried ... like me ... about ya gittin' so tired ..."

"Oh she is, is she," murmured Michaela.

"I guess she's thinkin' that come September there'll be no more chances ta do somethin' like this ... her an' Andrew'll be goin' off ta Philadelphia ... an' you'll be workin' at the clinic on your own agin ... we won't be able ta go away anywhere ...," he explained immediately.

She nodded, acknowledging the truth in his statement. "I'd still feel like I was shirking my responsibilities here Sully," she bemoaned. "Although it is tempting ... to get away ... see new sights ... with you ..."

"An' the kids .."

She chuckled. "Mmm ... and the kids," she agreed.

"We could make it somethin' special for Brian ... with him finishin' school on Friday," Sully added temptingly. "You know how he's always bin ... about his pa ... an' seein' new things for that matter ..."

She peered up into his eyes. "There's always the possibility he'll be disappointed again .. in Ethan," she suggested worriedly.

"Whether he goes ta see him now ... or in the next coupla years ... Ethan aint gonna change ... an' since Brian went on that trip north with the Cheyenne ya'd have ta say he's grown up a lot ... He'll see the truth ... whatever it is ..."

She gazed in the direction of the homestead. "I know he'd love the trip," she mused. "And he's still trying to decide exactly what he wants to do as far as college is concerned ... getting away might help him make up his mind ..." She absent-mindedly began to stroke the back of his hand with her thumb. "But there's still the wedding ...," she remarked softly.

He chuckled. "I reckon Kathleen an' Colleen'll can look after that for the most part ... both of 'em'll enjoy it ... an' we'll be back weeks before it anyways ..."

Her head shot up, her brow creased and she peered up at him. "When were you thinking we'd go?" she asked pointedly. "There are things to organise ..."

He shrugged. "I was kinda thinkin' o' early next week ... ," he admitted quietly.

"So soon!" she exclaimed. "We'd never be ready!"

"Sure we will ..." He gave her another loving squeeze. "So ... are we goin'?" he asked, his smile broad.

She gazed down at their tiny son just starting to stir in his basket at their feet and took a deep breath. "Do you think we can?" she asked, her voice hushed, whether from excitement or feeling overwhelmed it was difficult to tell.

"Sure we can ... ya forget most of our kids are adults now Michaela ... an' I know they'll help us ..." He turned to the front and picked up the reins which had been laying loosely in his lap. "I'll book the tickets in the mornin' ... an' you can start worryin' 'bout what ya gonna pack." He flicked the reins and they set off.

Michaela shook her head ruefully when she considered everything which would have to be done before they could leave, but inside, her heart was beating excitedly and her stomach was fluttering in anticipation. Perhaps this was what she most needed - some time away with her loving husband and younger children, to see new things, meet new people. She hooked her arm through Sully's and rested her head on his shoulder, but this time the gesture had nothing at all to do with tiredness or melancholy.

*********************
Sully wandered down through the corral and paused at the barn door as his eyes became accustomed to the dimness inside. Gradually he could make out his son brushing his horse, Taffy, down after a ride. "Hey Brian," he said approaching, and then leaning on the stall railing to watch.

"Hey pa," returned Brian, continuing with the rhythmic brushing.

"Have a good ride?" Sully asked.

Brian shrugged. "Didn' git a chance ta go far today pa ... had some things I wanted ta finish in town ..."

Sully smiled. "After Friday you'll have plenty o' time huh?" he rejoined.

The brushing paused for a split second and then was taken up again. "I suppose," Brian acknowledged, not sounding too enthusiastic.

Sully's eyes narrowed. "You excited about finishin' school?" he asked, watching carefully for a reaction to his question.

Again Brian shrugged. "Feels kinda strange ... don' seem all that long since I started ..."

Sully chuckled. "That's what ya ma says ..."

Brian stopped the grooming and turned to face Sully. "I got a lotta friends there ... I'm gonna miss 'em," he said quietly.

"Colorado Springs aint that big yet son ... that ya won't see 'em from time to time .."

"I know it ... but it aint gonna be the same ...," Brian murmured soulfully. "Sarah ... Steven ... an' Marianne ... all got a year ta go ... an' if I go off ta college ..." He trailed off, his mood reflective.

"If they're good friends it won't matter if ya aint around all the time," responded Sully.

Brian turned back to Taffy and resumed the brushing. "I suppose ... still feels kinda strange though ...," he muttered. "I suppose its got somethin' ta do with not bein' able ta decide about where ta go ta college ... or even *if* ta go to college ... It'll be awful expensive ..."

Sully straightened. "Like we told Colleen ... ya not ta worry about that ... if you wanna go ta college ... we'll make it happen ...," he said immediately.

Brian nodded but didn't look convinced. "I don' want ya gittin' into the same sorta trouble as happened when Colleen went ... an' Mr Lodge tried ta take the house," he said in a small voice, unable to meet his pa's eyes.

Sully quickly moved across and placed his hand reassuringly on Brian's shoulder. "That aint gonna happen agin Brian ... the house's all ours now ... I paid out Daniel ... an' I still got work with Welland Smith every now an' then ..."

"But ma likes ya to be around here ... an' if I went ta college ... who'd look after things .. for her an' the kids?" he asked, the responsibilities weighing heavily on his young shoulders.

"That aint your concern Brian," responded Sully, endeavouring to keep his tone even. "You know I'd never leave 'em here without someone lookin' out for 'em ... doin' for 'em ... don' ya?" Brian nodded and Sully squeezed his hand on the lad's shoulder. "Good ... so ya understand that if ya wanna go away ta college ... ya should go ..."

Again Brian nodded and then straightened. "I got it pa," he said quietly. He strode across to hang the curry brush on the nail beside the stalls and then turned to face him. "Thanks," he added.

Sully shrugged self-consciously. "Just wanted ta know ya understood," he rejoined. "So ... you got plans for the summer?"

For the first time Brian's eyes had some sparkle. "Nothin' real special ... but me an' Steven thought we'd do some campin' out ... an' I wanna spend some time with Sarah ..."

"Sounds good," Sully rejoined. "Me an' ya ma bin talkin' ..." Brian's eyebrows rose in anticipation, so Sully continued. "We thought we might take a trip ..."

The young man's eyes narrowed. "We?" he asked, seeking clarification.

"Uh huh ... me an' ya ma, the little kids ... an' you ... if ya wanna go .."

"Me? Where?" he asked, a ripple of excitement in his tone.

"How does San Francisco sound?" asked Sully.

Brian gulped. "San Francisco," he echoed faintly.

"Yep ... thought ya might like ta catch up with your pa after all this time ...," suggested Sully a little tentatively.

"You don' mind?" Brian asked immediately.

"Mind?" asked Sully, puzzled.

"Bout me goin' ta see him," clarified the young man.

"Why would I mind ... he's your pa," stated Sully unequivocally.

Brian bit his lip, but his eyes were sparkling. "I always wanted ta go there ...," he said softly.

"I know it," agreed Sully. "So's your ma ..."

Brian met his pa's eyes. "She'd bin lookin' tired lately," he said. "Trip'd do her good ..."

"Yep .. I reckon ..."

"Could be fun ... you ever bin ta San Francisco pa?"

Sully shook his head.

Brian took a step towards the man he'd considered his father for a long time. "There'd be lots o' things to do ... I read that the big ships settin' off for Australia an' the Pacific islands leave from San Francisco ... an' maybe pa ... my other pa ... would let me on ta one of 'em ... while its in port ..."

Sully smiled. "Maybe he would ..."

Brian's face fell. "An' then agin .. maybe he wouldn' ... I aint heard from him for a long time ..."

"How long?"

"Bout six months I reckon ... no wait ... I got a letter at Christmas ... though I figure it was written by Lillian ... fact is most o' the letters the last few years've bin written by her ..."

"Maybe she's just more comfortable with writin' that your pa is," suggested Sully.

"I guess," Brian muttered dubiously. He walked toward the barn door. "Me an' Matthew've talked 'bout pa a few times the last year or so ... I used ta just accept the things he said ... even make excuses for things he didn' ..." He stopped and looked up at Sully. "Maybe he won' wanna see me ..."

Sully swallowed. "We don' know how he'll feel about it Brian .... I guess ya have ta decide whether ta find out ... or keep yourself in the dark ... wonderin' ...," he advised, again reaching out to lay his hand on his son's shoulder.

The young man nodded and reached up to pat his pa's hand affectionately. "Fact is ... I got a pa ... right here an' now ...," he said quietly, but confidently. "So I won't count on too much ... then I can't be disappointed ... right?" He looked up into Sully's clear blue eyes. "When were ya thinkin' we'd go?" he asked with a smile.

"How does early next week sound?"

Brian abruptly smiled broadly and then gave a whoop. "San Francisco here we come," he yelled, taking off for the homestead porch, and leaving a bemused Sully in his wake.

********************
"Oh Sully," murmured Michaela soulfully, as they watched their son stand before his teacher and fellow students to receive his graduation certificate. Three other young people, two girls and a boy, stood alongside him, equally proud. "I can't believe he's finished school," she added, grappling for a handkerchief to wipe at her tears of joy and pride.

Around them the entire family was gathered, along with the families of many of the other students. Another year had passed, and with it the students had learnt and grown. Now four more young people would leave to make their way in the world, while, much to Teresa Slicker's consternation, somewhere between ten and twelve new little ones would begin in the fall. She'd already approached Michaela, as a member of the town council, about the lack of facilities for the coming year. It would be impossible to seat the proposed number of students in the existing schoolhouse. It was just too small. She'd also confessed that she wasn't sure how much longer she could teach the growing number of students without some assistance. Michaela had made a mental note to call a town council meeting as soon as they returned from San Francisco.

As the formal proceedings concluded, each of the students rejoined their families for congratulations and good wishes for the future and then the Sully family made their way across to Grace's for a celebratory supper. Sully brought up the rear, William in his arms. Truth was he was feeling almost as proud and awed as Michaela. So many years had passed since the town had feverishly built the schoolhouse while Brian was desperately ill. Now he'd graduated and the next of their family to attend would be Katie in a couple of years time. He shook his head. Right at this moment, he almost subscribed to Michaela's wish to let time stand still. It seemed to be rushing by way too fast.

He chuckled as Katie skipped happily along beside her ma, and Brian tore up to Sarah Sheehan who was also heading for the caf�. Maybe time shouldn't stand still. There was too much to look forward to. He, Michaela and Brian had talked at length the past few days about their upcoming trip to San Francisco. They'd made plans, organised their affairs at home, agreed what should be taken along etcetera. That first night, Sully had thought it best to apprise Brian of at least some of the facts about his ma and Adrian Tilson. The last thing he'd wanted was for Brian to excitedly tell all his school friends about his trip and consequently have Tilson find out about it. It turned out Brian had almost been relieved to be told. He'd known there was something effecting his ma, but had been unable to ascertain what it was. He'd entered into the spirit of the trip with gusto and was almost jumping out of his skin with excitement.

Michaela too had appreciated Sully's wish to keep their destination a secret. As soon as he'd mentioned the possibility of Tilson turning up at Miriam's she'd agreed to the secrecy, as had the rest of the family.

So, following this joyous family celebration of Brian's achievements, in two days time, they would leave for San Francisco, with the heartfelt good wishes of their family and friends accompanying them.

Chapter 28

Sully rode into Cloud Dancing's camp at Palmer Creek early the next day, just in time to nod a greeting to Dorothy as she set off for town. He slid from the horse's back and walked briskly across to his brother who was sitting by the campfire watching his wife gallop off into the distance.

Cloud Dancing glanced up as Sully approached and his face broke into a smile. "Welcome my brother," he said. "Come sit by the fire and warm yourself ..."

Sully grasped his Cheyenne friend's arm in acknowledgment of the greeting and then squatted down beside him. "Dorothy's headin' back early this mornin'," he remarked.

"It is the same most mornings," rejoined the medicine man. "She means to work on the Gazette all day .. then perhaps later in the week she can spend a day out here with me ... without it being questioned in town ..."

Sully frowned. "Sounds hard ... the way you're havin' ta live ...," he commented with concern.

Cloud Dancing turned to smile at him. "It is not so difficult ... If she returns to town early, it goes unnoticed ... and that is how it must be ..."

"But you're happy?"

Cloud Dancing's smile widened. "It has been many moons since I have felt such peace ... You know that we say the tribe must come first ... before the man ... but my people are far away ... living in peace ... and so for now I can think of myself ... The spirits allow me to do this ... at least for the moment ..."

Sully nodded. "So everythin's workin' out ... between you an' Dorothy ...?" he asked with a grin.

Cloud Dancing nodded. "Man was not meant to be alone ... I now feel whole again ... it is a good feeling ...," he said sincerely.

Sully reached out and prodded at the glowing embers of the fire with a stick. "I'm glad," he said quietly. "That you're happy ... you deserve it ..."

"There are few who do not ... I am no different to anyone else ...," rejoined Cloud Dancing. "But I too am glad that it has happened this way ..." He picked up a metal cup from the ground beside him. "Dorothy made coffee this morning ... there is still some remaining," he offered. When Sully nodded, he poured into the cup the thick brown liquid from the charred pot which had been sitting amongst the embers.

Sully smiled when he noticed Cloud Dancing's grimace of distaste. "Dorothy aint managed ta git ya drinkin' coffee yet huh?" he chuckled.

The medicine man grimaced again and then smiled ruefully. "It is not to my taste ... but she says it wakes her up in the morning ...," he rejoined.

They sat for some moments in silence as Sully sipped his darkly brewed coffee. Spring was displaying its full effects out here in the woods. The trees, which until recently had been bare and dry, almost as if they had been upturned so that their roots reached for the sun, were now in full leaf, and wildflowers, of many hues and shapes, poked their heads up amongst the long grass, almost playfully, cheekily.

Finally Sully said, "Me an' Michaela are goin' away tomorra ..."

Cloud Dancing nodded. "I knew you did not come here to drink Dorothy's coffee ... You are going to Boston?"

"Nah .. headin' west ... gonna have a look at Frisco ...," Sully replied. Even he was feeling a little excited about exploring new territory, even if the method was a little more civil than he'd have liked.

"Dorothy tells me it is a big city now ... like Boston and yet not," remarked Cloud Dancing ambiguously.

"How do ya mean?"

"She has read that many different people have settled in this place ... of different races ... There is little of the society you observed in Boston ... or that we saw together in Washington ..."

Sully grinned. "Sounds like I might like it," he smirked.

"Why have you decided to go away now?" asked Cloud Dancing, his tone curious.

Sully shrugged. "Thought it was a good time," he replied a little evasively. When his friend's eyebrows rose questioningly, he went on, "Michaela's tired after havin' the baby ... an' after Colleen an' Andrew leave in September there'll be no more chances ..."

"There are no other reasons?"

Sully hung his head and added quietly, "Truth is ... Michaela's havin' some trouble with this fella Tilson who's taken over managin' the Chateau .."

"Trouble?"

"Its kinda hard ta explain ... an' she aint told me everythin' ... but she seems ta be scared o' him ..."

Cloud Dancing frowned. "That does not sound like Michaela ...," he commented.

"No it don' ... but that's how it seems ... She clams up every time his name is mentioned ... an' she's afraid ta be alone with him ...," Sully outlined, his tone both subdued and worried.

"You have spoken to this man?"

"She don' want me to ... truth is ... I'd have trouble just keepin' it ta talkin' ..."

"So you do not like him either?"

"If someone was worryin' Dorothy ... makin' her afraid ... would you like him?"

Cloud Dancing smiled. "I see what you mean ... And so you think going away for a while will help?"

"Uh huh ... on top o' havin' William an' goin' back ta work ... its all bin too much for her I reckon ... She needs a change of scene ... an' inta the bargain, we can take Brian ta meet his real pa too ...," replied Sully.

Cloud Dancing nodded, then avowed, "I will pray to the spirits that your trip goes well ... for all of you ..." He suddenly frowned. "How long has this man been at the Chateau?" he asked.

"Since around the time William was born ... Why?" asked Sully.

"I have seen the cloud hanging over Michaela ... I thought it was to do with managing the new baby ... Remember I asked you about her ... when Flying Hawk and his people were still here ...."

"I remember ... an' you're right ... she'd probably just heard about Tilson bein' here in town ..."

"So these two knew each other before ... before she came out here from Boston?" asked Cloud Dancing.

"Uh huh ... when she was in her last year of medical college she said," replied Sully. His eyes narrowed as he contemplated his brother who was deep in thought.

Abruptly Cloud Dancing swivelled to face him. "You must stay close to her Sully ... For her to be afraid of him ... after so long ... he must bring with him a darkness ... a darkness against which only you can protect her ...," he advised.

"So you reckon there's cause ta worry ... ta watch him?" asked Sully anxiously.

"It is not him you should watch ... but Michaela ... she is the one who must be protected," counselled the medicine man. "It is good you are going away ... it will give you both time to think about this man and the darkness he brings ... perhaps she will talk to you about him during this time ..."

"That's what I was hopin' ..," said Sully. He abruptly stood and tossed the dregs of his coffee into the heavy brush behind them. "I better be headin' back ... we still got plenty ta do before we start out tomorra ... Oh .. an' we aint tellin' too many people where we're goin' ... don' want Tilson findin' out ... Seems he turned up in Denver when Michaela was there with the girls ..."

The medicine man frowned. "He did not harm her in any way?" he asked worriedly.

"Nah ... but his attention worries her ... an' seein' we're gonna meet up with his sister Miriam ... you remember her ... she was here a few years back visitin' with Michaela ... we don' want him findin' out ... We aint even told Miriam yet ...," Sully informed him. "Michaela's gonna tell Dorothy about the trip today .. an' ask her ta keep it quiet too ... you understand ..." The medicine man immediately nodded and Sully held out his hand. "Thanks for your advice Cloud Dancin' ... an' don' forget to talk to the spirits for us ..."

Cloud Dancing smiled. "I will not forget ... Tell Michaela that I hope she will enjoy her trip ... and Brian ... tell him that he has grown to be a man ... with all the wisdom of a man ... This will be important when he visits his father's house ..."

"I'll tell 'em," responded Sully. "I'll see ya in a coupla weeks." He strode across the clearing to his horse which was quietly grazing on the plentiful grass. He mounted and then looked back at his brother standing alone in the clearing. He nodded and then dug his heels into the horse's belly, sending it galloping at speed, homeward.

*****************
Adrian stood on the porch of the saloon, gazing across the street, feeling a little perplexed. He'd taken up his customary position shortly after lunch and waited eagerly for Michaela to appear, expecting to observe her either greeting or seeing off a patient. Perhaps she'd even leave to go to the caf� or the telegraph office. He loved to watch her walk, to see her confident stride, her petite figure, her gleaming copper hair. One of these days he was going to summon up the courage to actually talk to her alone, especially about the roses debacle. He'd been bitterly disappointed by her rejection of his simple gifts. He'd have to say, even a little angry. He wanted, needed, to speak with her about it, to explain why he'd been sending them, to finally tell her how he felt. He scoffed to himself. He hadn't had the courage to do it all those years ago. Would he have the courage to do it today? He'd convinced himself ever since deciding to make the journey west that he would, he must, but actually doing it was an entirely different matter.

But the clinic remained uncharacteristically quiet. The lacy curtains were drawn, the door closed. There was no movement behind the flimsy window coverings and no patients lined up on the bench outside. Finally, he warily made his way across the street, and cursed under his breath when he discovered the 'Closed' sign hanging on the door. His disgust quickly turned to concern. Andrew had definitely been out at the Chateau when he left, which meant it was a day when Michaela should have been at the town clinic. Perhaps she was ill?! He swallowed, hard. Life wouldn't be worth living if anything happened to her. He took a deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart. He was being ridiculous! It was unlike him to let his imagination run amok, well on most matters anyway.

As nonchalantly as possible, he wandered away from the clinic, trying to decide on the next course of action. Spying Dorothy Jennings and the young Mrs Cook enter the mercantile gave him an idea. He straightened his coat, tweaked his hat and set off after them.

Adrian had never lingered in the Colorado Springs mercantile. It seemed to be as much a meeting place as the saloon, though for a different cross-section of people. Listening to, or becoming involved in idle gossip had never appealed to him, and he had the distinct impression from the few times he'd been here that gossip was the main preoccupation of those who roamed slowly around the cluttered shop. He'd been mildly amused in the past by the hushed whispers about a fellow townsperson, or an event, or dramatic occurrence in a nearby town, but he had never participated.

Today, he entered, glanced around at the inhabitants and then did as he'd seen so many others do. He aimlessly strolled the aisleways, picking up an item, examining it, placing it back on the shelf and then moving on, his ears cocked for any interesting titbit of information. With both Mrs Jennings and Mrs Cook in the store, he'd felt sure the conversation would eventually come around to Michaela and her family. Instead, he listened while they droned on about the upcoming wedding between Mrs Cook's brother and young Kathleen Enders, and the article Mrs Jennings was writing about increases in the prices of railway tickets. Occasionally old Loren Bray would interject with an opinion which inevitably resulted in laughter from those listening in, but there was no mention of Michaela. His eyes narrowed. There had to be some way of finding out if she was alright.

Finally, he took a deep breath and approached Colleen, just as she stepped up to Bray with her purchases. "Ah ... good afternoon Mrs Cook," he said, doffing his hat. "I was wondering ..."

Colleen instantly turned to face the man who had addressed her, her smile deliberately sunny. "Good afternoon Mr Tilson," she responded. "You were wondering?"

"Ah yes," he continued. "I noticed the medical clinic was closed today ... I wished to speak to Dr Quinn on a matter regarding the Chateau clinic ... I trust she is not ill ...?"

"Oh no," rejoined Colleen, maintaining the light-hearted smile and manner. "She's not ill ... not ill at all ... she's gone away ..."

"Gone away?" he asked, striving to keep his voice even and fighting the panic welling up inside.

"Yes ... gone away," reiterated Colleen. "For a few weeks ..."

"Oh," muttered Adrian. "I ... I ... trust there was no emergency ..."

Dorothy, experiencing difficulty in keeping a straight face, stepped forward. "They're fine Mr Tilson," she exclaimed with an amiable smile. "Just decided to get away for a bit that's all ... I saw 'em off myself ... just this mornin' ..."

"But ... but ... what if I need to discuss something with her ... about the clinic," he protested. "Surely she can be contacted?"

Suddenly Loren interjected, "Awful strange them takin' off like that Dorothy," he said with a frown. "Aint like Dr Mike ta do somethin' like that ... What about the clinic .. an' tellin' her friends she's goin'?!"

"Oh Loren," replied Dorothy placatingly. "It was a sorta last minute decision ta go ...they knew me an' Colleen'd let everyone know ..."

"Yeah ... but where've they gone?" asked the old man indignantly. "They take the kids?"

"Of course they took the children," rejoined Dorothy sternly. "Katie, William an' Brian ... They said somethin' about lookin' at colleges for Brian .. for the fall ..."

Loren shook his head at the news. "Gonna miss that boy when he goes off ta college," he remarked wistfully, unwittingly directing the conversation away from the Sully family's destination.

"We all will Loren," agreed Dorothy. "I don' know what I'm gonna do without him at the Gazette ..."

Adrian was watching on with disgust. He had no time at all for this idle chitchat. "You haven't answered my question Mrs Jennings ... Mrs Cook ... What if I need to discuss a clinic matter while she's away? Surely you must have a contact for her?"

Aware now of Mr Tilson's penchant for subterfuge, Colleen was not taken in. "Ma left Andrew in charge of the clinics Mr Tilson," she replied, her tone assuming an unaccustomed haughtiness. "He can make any decisions which have to be made .. in fact, I'm expecting him back from the Chateau any minute ... if you need to speak with him."

Adrian snorted with disgust. "That won't be necessary ... for now," he retorted, mirroring her formality. "You can tell him however, that I expect the same level of service out at the Chateau ... despite his having both clinics to manage ... It was most irresponsible of Dr Quinn to leave without making proper arrangements or advising people of her proposed whereabouts." He stepped back, summarily doffed his hat at the small group and left, striding angrily down the street towards the livery.

Colleen and Dorothy exchanged knowing, yet speculative looks, while Loren stood, his mouth gaping in astonishment at the rudeness of the seemingly mild-mannered Chateau manager.

**********************
Sully watched as the unfamiliar, open-plain countryside sped by, always back-dropped by the unmoving towering mountains in the distance. By his calculations they were only an hour or so out of Cheyenne where they'd be staying the night, then tomorrow they'd set off again for Salt Lake City. He glanced down at Michaela, whose head was resting on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, but he wasn't sure she was sleeping. In the buckskin sling over her shoulder lay William sound asleep. They'd debated about bringing the sling, considering the odd looks they would probably receive, but using it saved them from having to cradle him in their arms for the whole trip. He was secure, and in no danger of slipping from the hands of someone inadvertently dropping off to sleep. The little fella had been pretty good so far. In fact the continual and rhythmic motion seemed to sooth him, consequently he'd slept longer than usual between nursing. Sully smiled wryly. They'd probably pay for it tonight when he'd want to play rather than sleep.

He examined his wife's face as she sat there motionless beside him. The further they'd travelled away from Colorado Springs, the more relaxed and light-hearted she seemed to have become. She'd come alive during their hastily eaten lunch in Denver before they'd boarded the train again for this leg of the trip. It was almost as if, with each mile, all her cares and worries were gradually being lifted from her shoulders. His heart swelled with his love for her and he reached out to lightly clasp her hand which had been laying on her knee. When she turned her hand and reciprocated he knew she wasn't sleeping. He tenderly caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. It felt good to be doing this with her. He felt her head move on his shoulder and he turned a little to observe her peering up at him. "You tired?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "Not really ... just relaxed I think," she replied softly. "You?"

"I'm alright ...," he responded immediately. "Won't be too long til we pull inta Cheyenne."

"Mmm ... I wonder what its like," she whispered.

"Much like any other town in the west I guess," he replied indulgently. "Though with a name like that ... it oughta be interestin'." He lifted her hand to his lips and gave it a quick kiss.

She sighed with contentment and edged closer to him.

Sully rested their joined hands in his lap and asked in a low tone, "Ya want me ta take William ...? He can git heavy ..."

"He's alright for now," she replied, repositioning him slightly against her stomach and breasts. "He'll want nursing again soon," she murmured a little regretfully. Nursing her son in public, even though Sully did his best to shield her from anyone walking in the aisle, made her feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe he'll last til we git ta Cheyenne," suggested Sully.

She smiled wryly. "I wish," she muttered.

He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. He glanced across the aisle to where Katie had insisted on sitting beside Brian. He chuckled at the sight and nudged Michaela, indicating with a nod that she should also look. She leant forward and smiled too. The excited little girl who had kept Brian entertained and also busy answering innumerable questions for hours as they steamed along, had finally succumbed to tiredness atop her brother's knees. Brian was staring out the window, lost in thought, his little sister held lovingly in his arms, her head nestled against his chest.

"You alright Brian?" asked Sully across the aisle. "You want me ta take her?"

The young man turned and smiled. "She's alright pa," he replied. "Think her excitement got the better of her in the end ...," he whispered. "How long before we stop do ya reckon?"

"Shouldn' be too long now," replied Sully. He observed the sparkle in his son's eyes. "Don' think she's the only one ta be excited," he remarked.

Brian looked sheepish for a moment, then said quietly, "I've wondered about San Francisco for so long ... an' about pa an' Lillian ... where they live ... what pa does ... Now I'm gonna find out ..." He smiled almost shyly. "Thanks pa ... ma ... for bringin' me ..."

Michaela smiled ruefully. "To think you might have been living there," she mused. "If your father had had his way ..." She pulled herself up short. She'd always been very careful not to criticise Brian's father in his presence.

"Its alright ma," rejoined Brian. "I'm glad he didn' git ta take me an' Colleen too ... I can't imagine what my life would've bin like away from you an' pa ..." He looked down at his little sister nestled so trustingly in his embrace. "Or Katie ... or William ... not ta mention Matthew ..." He trailed off and then said wonderingly. "Colleen would never've met Andrew ..."

Sully said quietly, "You were meant ta be with us Brian ... you an' Colleen ..."

Brian nodded thoughtfully. "Just wish pa would've written more often ... I feel like I don' know him at all ... Matthew says I don' ... cos I only remember him from when I was a little kid ..." He gazed across the aisle into Sully's eyes and said challengingly, "Matthew don' like pa ... does he? How can someone not like their own pa?"

Sully shrugged. "Matthew's a lot older 'an you Brian ... When Ethan left ... well he felt like he had ta be the man o' the family ... that's a lot ta take on when you're only a kid yourself .... Remember ... he was younger 'an you are now ..."

Brian swallowed hard. "An' he had a little sister an' brother he had ta look out for," he said quietly. "An' I know ma was real upset about pa goin' too ..."

Sully nodded and then Michaela said, "Matthew is angry at your father ... that doesn't mean he doesn't love him ... deep down ... There's a difference ..."

"I aint so sure about that ... Before we started on this trip he warned me about expectin' too much of pa ...," muttered Brian. "Said I was likely to be disappointed ..." He tightened his hold on his little sister as she stirred in his arms. "Maybe I *will* be disappointed ... I dunno .. Maybe I'll find out a lot o' things I like about him .. or didn' know ... or ..." Again he trailed off. "Guess I'll just have ta wait an' see ... but I'm sure lookin' forward ta seein' San Francisco with you an' the kids ... its gonna be fun .."

Both Michaela and Sully smiled indulgently at their rapidly maturing son whose heart was so big and whose mind so open. "We're all lookin' forward to it Brian ...," returned Sully and then jumped as a cry came for his smallest son beside him as he woke in hunger. "Even William," he added with a smile. He glanced at Michaela and said ruefully, "Seems the little fella couldn' wait for Cheyenne after all huh?"