|Copy of my notes
for the presentation to Outward Bound in Sao Paulo
Our brains are full of chemicals. We have emotional needs. We need emotional vitamins to fill these needs.
If we don't get our daily supply of emotional vitamins, we get sick, are stressed, can't work well, can't help others, are not happy.
Emotional vitamins (hugs, appreciation, empathy, understanding, etc. ) balance brain chemicals.
- Rejection is similar to physical pain in the brain
Acceptance vs Love - Sarah - Felt accepted 0 by dad. "he doesn't accept my clothes, my music, my friends, my beliefs"
We work, learn at our best when our brains chemicals are balanced.
We need to feel empathy for each other. To feel empathy for another you have to feel your own feelings.
You can't feel empathy if you feel defensive. - Example of abandoned/idiot
Painful vs negative feelings. We don't say to our stomachs "stop being so negative."
people are more sensitive than others.
In extreme cases, when our emotional needs are not met, we feel so much pain we kill ourselves to stop the pain.
|What are your emotional needs? 10 min|
|AAC FIRST UV - Accepted,
Appreciated, Cared about, Free, In control, Respected,
Safe, Trusted, Understood, Valued
At the meeting the group also listed connection, recognition, significance/meaningfulness, harmony
|Think about a conflict you had. What did you need emotionally? What did they need emotionally?|
When you have a conflict, remember it is a conflict of needs. Identify the needs.
"CONTROL" - Conflict of needs trying to ruin our love/life
Listening: Don't interrupt, defend, debate, judge, invalidate.
Invalidation the opposite of understanding - Don't worry. Don't be sad. You don't have to be sad. You don't have any reason to be depressed. Don't be angry. Don't cry. It was just a small thing, not a big thing.
Ask how understood - Washing up story
- Develop your emotional
|Collecting and Tracking Emotioinal
Ask people how ok or how fine or how "bem" they are, and then after they answer, say, "why x?"
You will learn a lot more about the person and establish a reference point for that person. W
hen their number changes from the average you can pay more attention to reason for the change.
|Ask people what they think their
biggest emotional needs are.
Ask others who know them what they think that same person's biggest emotional needs are.
Expressing feelings with 3 word sentences starting with "I feel ...."
Being able to identify and name specfic feelings.
Not "I feel like... " or "I feel that..."
Identifying the emotional need that corresponds to each feeling.
I feel rejected ---->Need: = acceptance
I feel judged ---> Need=understood
Paul Hein, dos EUA, fará uma apresentação sobre o que ele chama de nossas "vitaminas emocionais", e as nossas necessidades emocionais.
Ele vai explicar por que precisamos dessas vitaminas emocionais para ser emocionalmente saudável.
Ele vai nos oferecer ideias práticas sobre como podemos começar a colocar mais importância em nossos sentimentos e nossas necessidades emocionais.
Ele vai nos ensinar sobre
como podemos coletar e usar dados emocionais para que
possamos começar a usar esta informação e começar a
fazer mudanças pequenas, mas importantes nas formas como
nos comunicamos e vivemos. Ele vai explicar como isso
pode melhorar as nossas vidas pessoais, nossas relações
de trabalho, nossos relacionamentos românticos, nossos
relacionamentos com nossos filhos, nosso sistema
educacional, as nossas empresas e nossa sociedade.
Ele viajou para 60 países e trabalhou durante os últimos 15 anos como voluntário na prevenção do suicídio de jovens.
Sua missão agora é ajudar a tornar o mundo um lugar mais emocionalmente saudável.
Ele visita o Brasil este