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CRYING?! No, no – beard got caught in my coat zipper as I was passing the jukebox…(AKA Songs on Diverse Subjects That Make Timmybear All Soft and Wet (oh, just don’t bother…))
AIDS
Patchwork Quilt by Sweet Honey In The Rock – some of it may be the multiple voice harmony a capella arrangement, but the lyrics also get to me. Having seen different portions of the Quilt, about eight years apart, I must confess to admiration and sorrow that overwhelm me. (To briefly explain: it’s a massive series of interwoven panels memorializing those lost to AIDS, from celebrities (Rock Hudson, Liberace) to those unknown except to their loved ones (insert whatever names you reluctantly must, and count yourself fortunate if you cannot))
Outta Here by Phranc – The lively strum serves as both a celebration and an ironic commentary on the loss of the song. When she reaches the whispered "And no one’s gonna live forever – but I thought we’d grow old together – but it’s just not that way anymore", I’m sorry, but I lose it every time.
RIP by Bikini Kill – ‘Don’t tell me it don’t matter, don’t tell me it don’t matter! Don’t tell me I’ve had three days to get over it – it won’t go away – it just won’t go away!’ I think that’s all I need to say about the song…that and the fact it stands for REST IN PISSED-OFFEDNESS. J
Paths That Cross by Patti Smith – Now, of course, the song is generally about loss and reunion, and is mystical, but, given that the initial inspiration were Richard Sohl, her piano player, and Robert Mapplethorpe, her former companion, both of whom passed from the hideous plague of our times, it is hard not to read the song that way (though, given the subsequent deaths of her husband and brother, Patti may have moved on in her take on it). In any case, it is more uplifting and triumphant than the previous two numbers, and perhaps less sentimental than the first.
DEPRESSION/SUICIDE/DEATH
All The Stars Came Out by Perfect Disaster – This band featured Josephine Wiggs, later of Breeders, and did a sort of Dylan/Velvet Underground droning folk-rock thing. The dark humour of this song ("‘What’s the point of a suicide note?’ were the last words she ever wrote" and "Just then all the stars came out, just to see if I would jump"), not to mention the troubling frankness with which it reveals that it can be too draining to be around someone who probably does need you to be there, make it a selection I put on only when I am sure of a certain darkness that nevertheless is aware of light ahead.
Diamond Smiles by Boomtown Rats – I’m not sure why, but I always think Edie Sedgwick, doomed Warhol celebrity, when I hear this – perhaps the portrait of the poor little rich girl who wants to be noticed, but for whom that notice is one of death, and the morbid camp of the atmosphere (right down to the grandiose arrangement, all high art piano and swelling backing vocals). At its heart, it’s not a terribly sympathetic song, but it effects me anyway.
Bell Jar by Bangles – Yes, The Bangles. Deal with it. Throwing Muses may have written and sounded like Sylvia Plath with a post-punk education, but it was up to this band to actually write the song. I always felt The Bangles were ill-served by marketing and single choice. Their first full-length album was full of melancholy, moody pieces, including one that lyric-dropped both Matthew Arnold and T.S. Eliot, so, nyaaaah! "She grew frustrated, seeing things as they are – and she suffocated, living in a bell jar." Manic Monday, indeed…
Black Eyed Dog by Nick Drake – The black eyed dog has been a symbol of depression for quite some time, and this song is full of dread and strange lusting for oblivion and rest. Of course, Mr. Drake’s beautiful, sad voice and guitar, not to mention his early tragic fate, color the piece a few shades darker still.
When People Are Dead by The Go-Betweens - Some of it may be the arrangement (the very flat, dry drum sound – the arpeggiated guitar strum – the measured tempo and the strangely mournful, yet detached, vocal), but it seems a very accurate portrait of how children may view death (both confused and matter-of-fact, in an odd mixture). By not being overtly weepy, it is more heart-breaking, as it allows the listener to do the work. In a similar mode, the controlled tone of Death of Samantha by Yoko Ono shows the shock and emptiness at its core by contrast.
LOVE
- You
by X – "Take a chance, fall in love with a man three thousand miles away." Allowing for the exaggeration of distance, let me continue on with no further comments on its relevance to my biography…
- Coney Island Baby
by Lou Reed – Again, a purty structure, and the references to wanting to play football for the coach, despite his being mean and cruel; the mix of beauty and degradation; and the dedication to Rachel (Lou’s tranny girlfriend at the time) mark this as a queer song. A classic (and the shivers down my spine when Lou waxes ecstatic about the glory of love are worth any amount of closetry he has inflicted upon himself since…).