Closets CAN be safe places. However, they can be hazardous to your health…WHY, YOU ASK?

-Closets are cramped. Once YOU squeeze in, there’s little room for anything else…

-You could forget what’s in there. Unless you’re organized, you’re bound to forget that, though a nifty disguise is inside, there is also a suitcase there to stub your toe and a bowling ball poised to fall on you as you stumble in a state of confusion.

-While closets SHOULD be ideal for condom storage, as they are cool, dry and dark, the prophylactics could be misplaced, and there’s not much space in which to slip one on while you are within.

-A friend doesn’t fit well inside a closet. Anyone going in with you might have ulterior motives, as it is an uncomfortable space in which to engage in social activities.

-Until you acknowledge that the closet can open up to a land full of marvelous things, if you are willing to take a few steps, you will think you are either STILL in that closet (denying the possibilities and sights before your eyes just beyond the sliding doors and the walls) or in an inhospitable country crammed with evil queens, lions, tigers and Bears (oh, my!). That Lion could be your pussy – that Bear could be your Pooh…but you can’t see them – it’s too dark…and when you DO take a peek, it takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the light that waits beyond the shadows…

-Sometimes it seems easier to stay in there until you become a dustball or (worse) an outfit you can’t ever remember wearing that doesn’t fit anymore…but believe me, it is NOT!

-If you don’t leave that closet, you’ll never get any sun, and, though you might feel safe, they’re going to find you in there someday, another Karen Carpenter killed by the demands to shove uncomfortable clothes and things that someone has decided need to be hidden into obscurity…

- So, baby, get out of that closet, because the world needs the Monsters on THIS side of the doors…