Cool is Crass (by Miss Ivy)

Have you ever wondered what is cool? Why are you even concerned?

Well, cool is a marketing ploy by big media corporations to sell merchandise to teenagers and twenty-somethings. They've turned the streets into pseudo-shopping malls because those groups outnumber the baby boomers and are worth $100 000 000 000 U.S.

In spite of those groups' media savvy, marketers visit schools, colleges, universities, businesses, malls, homes, spring break and the Internet to crack the intangibility of cool.

When teenagers find or invent something they can call their own, the media eats it up. As the chorus of the song "How Can You Afford That Rock and Roll Life?" goes: 'Excess ain't rebellion - you're only buying what they're selling. Your excess can't hurt them - your chaos won't convert them."

Corporations try to be the teenagers' friends by 'saying' the government sucks - society and religion are creeps - parents are old-fashioned - teachers are nerds - and the police are bullies. Needless to say, big business also sucks (except their own corner of same).

So you are gay and say: 'What does it have to do with me?' Well, queer music and culture are being eaten up by the mass media too. Gay Pride events advertise beer, bars, travel, bottled water, hotels, condos, cheap jewelry and T-shirts for big corporations. TV and magazines have taken to being 'inclusive' in ads.

To some, it's mainstreaming - but there's a cost. If the media own you, they can censor leather and drag if they find it inconvenient. Why are there more gay bankers and Log Cabin queers and less drag queens and bulldyke lesbians? Even leather men are falling out of favour.

I'm not for nudity, diaper-men, public sex and other stunts, but queers should discourage it, not anti-leather or anti-drag corporations (yer friendly editor has certain quarrels with that, but tends to agree with the CONCEPT that queers should control our own representations to some extent (though an evil queer like, oh, David Geffen or Jann Wenner should be a fair target for ALL media)).

If you are not cool, take heart. If you ARE cool, think of the tricks they pulled on you and how widespread it is.