DEEP THOUGHTS HOPEFULLY NOT DESTINED FOR A SHALLOW GRAVE

1.       I must confess, for a few seconds, I actually gave our nasty little leader, Mr. Stephen Harper, credit for a progressive impulse.  After all, even though he wants to have same-sex marriage outlawed, he said he would acknowledge and grandfather-clause (now there’s some irony for you) those unions which had already taken place, which is more than Miss Ahnold did in California.

Then I thought a bit more about this.  Conservatives seem very interested in perpetuating class distinctions and the status quo.  What better way to do the former than to create two groups of queers – again, the good respectable ones (albeit the ones who are also destroying marriage) and the evil ones (who are not to be given the chance)? As to status quo – they might, depressingly, woo some voters with their generosity (oh, pookie, they let us stay married – let’s vote for them and see who ELSE they can fuck over!?).  Of course, they’re also likely to alienate constituencies as well – but, honey, they don’t need any HELP with that…

2.     Am I the only person who thinks that, semantically, benefits FOR (disease) are poorly phrased? Shouldn’t it be AGAINST? Wouldn’t it be much nicer, if perhaps less realistic, to see banners across main street saying NO MORE Breast Cancer Month (I suppose that might be misunderstood, though)? Then again, as the target audience for EATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES, I am reminded of a car dealer in town which has a big sign on its front saying NO PRESSURE SALESPEOPLE, written in a circle, with a slash through it.  So…you DO have pressure salespeople, then? I know – crotchety old grammar bear…  Goodness only knows I’ve been accused of ‘elitism’ at work.  I’m sorry, but, if you don’t know how to spell a word or how to put together a complex sentence structure, use a synonym and keep it simple.  It’s not so much to ask that I should not have to translate EVERY memo at work…

3.  What DOES it take to impeach a President? Lying to congress – leaking confidential documents – gross miscarriages of justice and due process – an abysmal knowledge of geography, history and world politics.  Am I going to have to get down on my knees, think of Canada, and kiss (very) Little George? Is it going to, once again, require oral sodomy to get our neighbours to the South to realize they are sleeping with the enemy?  Of course, I’m NOT going to watch my teeth…