I'VE GOT A HUNCH THAT YOU WANT SOME LUNCH. WELL, I'VE GOT GRAVY IN MY GROIN!
It has been remarked that food and sex share a bed, metaphorically speaking. 'Eat me', 'wiener', 'box lunch' – need I go on? As inspired by an observation from Arne, my reason for living (yes, someone is to blame…), 'Tainted Lunch' is funnier than 'Tainted Love'…and more painful. With that in mind, let us substitute in the word 'lunch' in the title orlyrics of songs featuring the other 'L' word and see what ensues!
'True Lunch' by X – 'True Lunch is the devil’s crowbar.' As a band, this ensemble has evidently eaten in the same frightening greasy truck stops I have. I have felt the work of the Dark One in my belly, yes…
'Lunch Is The Drug' by Roxy Music/Grace Jones – Some kind of chemical substitute for sustenance? A deadly loop being set up (since certain narcotics induce hunger pangs, would it not continue forever)?
'Puppet On A String' by Sandie Shaw – 'Lunch is just like a merry-go-round…' Having been to a fair or two in my life, I would not recommend supping before going on the rides.
'Some Kinda Lunch' by The Velvet Underground – 'Some kinda lunch – the possibilities are endless – and for me to miss one would seem to be groundless…' Um, Lou? There are practical boundaries to that in the average restaurant…
'Lunch Stinks' by J. Geils Band – Then don't leave it out. Eat it while it's still fresh…
'True Lunch' by Cole Porter – 'When you give to me and I give to you, true lunch, true lunch.' The couple that eats together stays together…
'Stoned Lunch' by The Supremes – See #2 above.
'Lunch Is A Stranger' by The Eurythmics – Lunch is a stranger in an open car. We were discussing food/fucking metaphors earlier…
'Tainted Lunch' by Gloria Jones/Soft Cell/Coil/etc. – See #5. You'd have to be desperate to be teased by spoiled luncheon meat/brown lettuce/etc.
'Lunch To Lunch You Baby' by Donna Summer – Hungry, are we? Food is not normally orgasmic (except for cucumbers, I suppose…)
