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GREAT MOMENTS IN BEAR MEDIA I WISH I HAD SEEN AND/OR TAPED
(1) The Price Is Right, date uncertain - Now, this one I saw, but it seems no-one else I knew was watching that day. Against incredible odds, not one but TWO Bears made it into the final showcase - and I don't mean just my usual tiresome tendency to label any stocky hairball a Bear - these guys were WEARING Bear Run shirts! Bob was blissfully unaware, at one point even running his hand over the letters on the shirt of the Daddiest one and reading it. His models were NOT oblivious - they were just about ruining their expensive dresses with their own urine, not to mention even doing the limp-wrist gesture to try and clue in Bob. So one of the guys won, and the stage is FLOODED with cuddly cubs and bouncing bears, while Bob is wondering: 'Where are the women?'
I SWEAR - it happened!!
(2) Roseanne talk show, early 2000s - one of her fans wrote in a letter TALKING about Beardom, and asking if she could get her handsome bearded cameraman to take off his shirt. To her credit (and his), it happened. I'm told the results were woofilicious, but I didn't see OR tape it, and it seems absent from YouTube (gasp!).
(3) LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN, 2007 - Ok, so I saw this one on Youtube, and I suppose I could save that for posterity, but it would have been fun to see on TV. This was after Kevin Smith graced the cover of A Bear's Life magazine (yes, I know he is not, sexually speaking, a Bear - but let those of you who have no issues of OUT or THE ADVOCATE with straight people as the feature article throw the firststone...), and I had heard he was going to discuss the magazine. Cynic that I am, and also remembering his AN EVENING WITH KEVIN SMITH talk where he confused cubs with twinks, I thought: 'This will be brief and oh-so-wrong!' Well, colour me shaved - I guess his Canadian bear buddy, documentary- maker Malcolm Ingram ("Small Town Gay Bar"), must have taught him something (is it wrong to hope it was in bed? ;) ).
Though Dave looked uncomfortable, Kevin dedicated about six of his nine minutes to discussing Bears and the publication. Well done - now, if only he had used Zack and Miri Make A Porno to cast himself as Seth Rogen's blowjob buddy (oh, I'm not the ONLY bear out there who had hopes of this - come out of the closet already!) Still, I enjoyed the movie, and Traci Lords rocks the transgressive (not to mention the anal girl).
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