Five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
You can kill your own food.
The garage is all yours.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
You never have to clean the toilet.
Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
The National College Cheerleading Championship.
You can write your name in teh snow.
Floweres fix everything.
You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
The world is your urinal.
You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
The remote is yours and yours alone.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
Bachelor parties rule over bridal showers.
Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
Baywatch.
There is always a game on somewhere.
