redjks

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says, "You ain't from around here....where you from, boy?"

They guy says, "I'm from West Virginia." The bartender asks, "What do you do in West Virginia?" The guys responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks,"A taxidermist....what the hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount dead animals."

The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg.
"Well, doc, 25 years ago...."
"Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."

"Like I was saying...25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, thefarmer's beautiful daughter cam into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I said, "No, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm sure," I said.
"Isnt ther anything I can do for you?" she wanted to know.
"I recon not," I replied.

"Excuse me." said the doctor, "What the hell does this story have to do with your broken leg?"
"Well, this morning." the famhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"

Census Taker: "How many children do you have?"
Redneck Woman: "Fo'."
Census Taker" "May I have their names please?"
Redneck Woman: "Eenie, Meenie, Minie, and George."
Census Taker: "Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?"
Redneck Woman: "Because we didnt want any MO"

A professor at the Unifversity of Kentucky is giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks:
"How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands. "Well that's a good start.

Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has any one ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" 3 students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" 1 student way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium the professor says, "Well tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost?! Shiiiiit....From way back there I thought you said goats."