redneck5

The Halloween pumpkin on our front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, Y'all watch this!"

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

You have to go outside to get something out of hte fridge.

Your dog can't watch you eat without getting sick.

You couldnt learn to swim because your gene pool is too small.

Your family tree has no forks.

You're a light beer drinder 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light.

On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

You think "takin out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

You ever been involved in a custody battle with a dog.

The KKK kicked you out for being a bigot.

The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a pare foot.

All of your four letter words are two syllables.

Youve painted a car with house paint.