WOMEN
1. What do you men today's our anniversary?
2. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
3. Ohhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyy tooooo big!
4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
5. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
6. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way to much for a designer dress.
7. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".
8. Hey, pull my finger!
Impossible!
Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let the bitch work in the dark!
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The ned for the same style shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat cloths.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
1. OTHER WOMEN!
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so facinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up.
6. Determine why we can's hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what its like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch themselves in public withoutthought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurment.
1. Repeat number 9.......
A: Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick!
Q: How do you know a woman is going tot say something sensible?
A: She starts a sentence with "My husband said......."
Behind every great man is a great woman....
and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her ass.
She drives home, lights some candles, slidps into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the "VCR. To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
Sally said, "I just rented an adult movie from you aqnd there's nothing on the tape but static."
Teh store clerk replied, "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?"
Sally answeres, "It's called 'Head Cleaner'."
Well the woman just could not believe this price so she asks the clerk if it was correct.
He said, "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."
She said "That cant be right!"
The clerk says "Oh yes, it's right! 5 boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."
