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THANKSGIVING IS FOR THE BEREAVED AND BROKEN
Reprinted and revised from LARGO, Winter 2001 Issue
Original writer:
~ Alice J. Wisler~
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I have a hard time believing it is the season of holidays again. While this
year should be easier since it will be our fourth Thanksgiving, Christmas, and
New Year's without Heather, I still feel myself putting on an extra shield of
courage.
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In the cool afternoon air I am reminded of my first Thanksgiving
since Heather's death. On that day I wrote a poem; it wasn't very good, but
it did express what I had learned from reflecting on the origins of this
national American holiday. For the first time I thought that the initial
Thanksgiving among the settlers and the Indians couldn't have been that
glamorous. Why not? For one, there had been many losses. Around those
tables were certainly fathers and mothers who had had to bury children. While
thankful for much, these parents held heavy hearts too.
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Continuing to
reflect this way helps me realize Thanksgiving is also a holiday with
reality. It is not a Norman Rockwell painting. While we like the warmth this artist has created in his capturing of a happy Thanksgiving table, we know
that in most families everyone is not present. Family members are gone from
us and at times all we can notice are the silent, empty chairs. How can we have
thanksgiving when we are lacking?
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This holiday does not have the bereaved in
mind at all, we conclude. But in time, we are able to reflect on the presence
our loved children held in our lives instead of only focusing on their
absences. They lived and we are the more blessed because of their lives-so
vibrant and so loving. We become more aware of just how much they impacted our
lives then and even now.
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So, light a candle this Thanksgiving for those we miss. Recall how blessed we were to have them, even for a short while. And
remember that the origin of Thanksgiving does not stem from the situations
of cheery and perfectly intact families. There had been many deaths during
the difficult trek to this land from England and Europe, and once the settlers
arrived more deaths due to illness occurred. The Native Americans
experienced heart-breaking losses as well. Even so, these men and women found
reasons to be thankful.
Therefore, although our sorrow is great, we can be
appreciative for the memories we hold in our hearts. Thanksgiving is a
holiday which includes each of us - bereaved and broken.
Below is the last photo taken of Heather and I together...
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Thanksgiving will arrive, like it does every year, in a show parade of glistening golden trees and frost-filled dawns.
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Families and friends will gather again, as always, to share the festivities and renew old bonds. However, this year will be different for me� because you aren�t here, and that extra little touch that your presence brings will be missing. But, in a very real way, you will be here - in my heart and in my thoughts.
LINDA ELROD
TCF, NORTH OKLAHOMA, OK.
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Thanksgiving Prayer
I'm thankful this Thanksgiving
That my grief is not so new.
Last year it was so painful to
think of losing you.
Death can't claim my love for you
tho' we are far apart,
Sweet memories will always be
Engraved up my heart.
Time can never bring you back
But it can help me be
Thankful for the moments of joy
You brought our family.
To all the parents with grief so new
I share your loss and sorrow.
I pray you find with faith and time
The blessing of each tomorrow.
Charlotte Irick,
TCF, Idaho Falls, ID
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