First appearing in the Rainbow Gayzette

No More, No More, Of the Prying Game

Let�s face it. It�s tough enough dating without being transgendered. Yes, surprise surprise: Gender identity and sexual identity are completely different things.

I�m sure you already know, it�s possible to be transgendered without gay, just like it�s possible to be gay without doing drag, or to be a lesbian without being butch.

And this is why it�s so difficult to meet someone in the clubs and bars. They don�t know what you�re into just by looking, so they often stay away.

But when it comes to love, sex and dating, the transgendered community is all over the spectrum. Just like the rest of humanity, there are those of us who like women, those who like men, those who don�t care as long as they�re warm, and those who�d rather not have sex brought up at all.

But when you add gender bending into the mix, it can get confusing. Should you consider a FTM (female-to-male) transgenderist a lesbian, or a straight man? Is a MTF (male-to-female) crossdresser who likes women a lesbian or a straight man?

How about the transsexual who only sleeps with men? Or the crossdresser who likes women while dressed as a man, but likes men while dressed as a woman?

Confusin�, ain�t it? It gets worse. Don�t assume anything when you see us out and about. Don�t think for a moment that the frumpy-looking gal is married with kids, and isn�t looking for a little action. But, don�t assume she is either. Don�t approach the gal in the short skirt and the high-heels thinking she�s going to take you home. It may not be her thing. But then again, she may be lonely and hoping for some attention. Ya never know.

Even if you meet a transgenderist who doesn�t mind what�s between your legs, you�re still not out of the woods yet. When you get home, you may find that �She� prefers to be a �He� in bed. Or, you may find yourself in the awkward position of wanting to sleep with a �He�, but your partner wants the play the part of �She�. How are you going to talk your way out of that one?

Don�t worry too much. There are difficulties facing T�s as well. �Damn! I can�t believe this gorgeous woman is taking me home with her. I hope she realizes I don�t really have a penis.�

Even worse, imagine going to bed with Cindy Crawford, but waking up with Ernest Borgenine. Sorry I had to share that image with you, but it�s the harsh reality of the TG world. Makeup gets washed off and whiskers grow back, unfortunately.

Besides, as I see it, it�s impossible to meet anyone anyway! Straight guys and gals avoid us for obvious reasons. Gay guys think we�re all too feminine for what they�re looking for, and gay women know we�re too butch for what they�re looking for.

I dare someone to prove me wrong. However, you�d better be rich if you�re looking for something serious with me. To quote Dolly Parton: �It costs a lot to look this cheap.�

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