First appearing in the Rainbow Gayzette

I�m a chatroom junkie, and I freely admit it. When I was living in central Nebraska, there weren�t many opportunities to get out, so virtual conversations were the next best thing.

Even though I�ve been a regular at the same transgendered-themed room for 4 years now, I�m still astounded by one thing: other cities don�t have what we have. People across the country tell me there isn�t much socializing between the different groups within our Community. The gays don�t talk to the crossdressers, the lesbians don�t like the bi�s, the bi�s hate the bears, and so on.

When I mention how much communication and inclusion there is here, no-one believes me. They don�t get it when I say we, lesbians, gays, straights, bi�s, TG�s, bears, leather lovers, were all invited to participate in the Pride Parade. They are incredulous about the diversity at the local bars and clubs.

Maybe we are willing to reach out to each other because we feel outnumbered. This isn�t the most progressive part of the country, so we all hang on to each other.

There may be bigger communities in bigger cities across the country, but I like it here, where the social life isn�t segmented.

Speaking of segmented, has anyone else noticed the large population of straight people at the Max for the last few months? I used to think it was great: a nice opportunity for public education and outreach. Lately, I�m not so sure.

If straight people want to hang out at the Max, that�s fine, but jeez! Stop staring! Yes, there are men in dresses. Yes, there are women with big biceps. And yes, those two guys are kissing. What did you expect at a gay bar? Hooters Girls and foozball?

There are plenty of people who are cool with the whole scene, but there are also a number of folks who just don�t get it. There are the frat boys who stand upstairs and say loudly: �Anybody wanna play pool with the DRAG QUEENS?� over and over again, just to get a rise outta someone. There are the straight couples who wander in and hang on to each other for dear life, for fear someone will steal their date away and �make them gay.�

And don�t get me started about people without rhythm overrunning the dance floor!

So, here�s what we do: Everyone who comes in gets a hand stamp that says �Gay and Proud�, and doesn�t wash off for 3 days. Everyone parked in a 1 block radius gets a rainbow sticker on their bumper. House rule: No mixed couple dancing. I think that ought to weed out some of the undesirables, don�t you?

But seriously, myself and other members of the River City Gender Alliance like to go out after our monthly meeting, (sometimes more often than that), and we like to socialize. I�ve not heard of a single complaint about the other clientele at the Max, or any of Omaha�s other bars, from members of our group.

We tend to sit upstairs in a cluster, away from most of the other guests. While it may look like we�re being exclusive, we�re not. We sit together for a couple of reasons.

First off, it�s easier to talk that way. And we do a lot of talking, because for some of us, it�s hard enough to walk in heels, let alone dance!

We also sit together, because often, we�ll have someone with us who is out for the first time, and is usually a bit scared. No, they�re not scared of the Max, they�re scared because its may be the first time they�ve been out in public in their chosen gender role. It can be a pretty frightening thing. Many of us are shy by nature anyway, and that doesn�t help the situation.

When someone is shy, typically, they don�t like to let on. They�ll adopt a look of aloofness. (Is that a word? It is now.) Other people don�t approach the shy subject, because they look snooty, and the whole situation gets worse. That first person starts to think nobody likes them, because nobody talks to them, and they get more shy.

What I�m getting at is this: We may look like we�re our own little club and don�t want anything to do with anyone else, but it�s not true. When you see us out, come over and say Hello. Everyone likes to make new friends, RCGA members included.

Sure, we may dress differently, and act a little funny compared to other people you know, but hey! That�s diversity. If you don�t understand where we�re coming from, ask. Most of us are pretty willing to talk, so let�s reinforce the bridges we already have.

We�ve got something good here in River City. Let�s make it stronger.