I think waking-up to DeLorean lying beside me was one of the best things I’ve ever opened my eyes to. All I could think about was how naturally beautiful she was, and how much I loved her. Just lying beside her in her bed was enough for the rest of my life. I couldn’t believe I was actually there, and that I had stayed the night, or that she even asked me to stay. I smiled a little, and reached out, gently caressing her cheek. She opened her eyes slowly, greeting me with a deep sea of green. We just gazed at each other for a few minutes, our forehead just barely touching. I kissed her softly. She pulled back slightly and pulled the sheet up over her mouth. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering what the heck she was doing.
“What on earth are you doing?” I asked her, half laughing.
“I have morning breath,” she said almost timidly. I laughed out loud, and she smacked me in the arm. “Don’t laugh at me!”
“Come on, Del,” I said. “Do you really think I care what your breath smells like?”
“If I was breathing right in your face you would.” I laughed again. “Yours doesn’t smell like roses either.” She said, and I could see the corners of her mouth turn up into a smile.
“You’re a smart ass,” I said grinning. I quickly rolled onto her, evoking a laugh from her. She giggled as I pulled the sheet away from her mouth, and straddled her waist. “Did you know I’m a smart ass too?” I said, pinning her wrists above her head, and breathing in her face. Yeah, I know, real mature. But hey, it was funny.
“Ugh! Get off me!” She laughed, trying to twist her waist and throw me off.
“That’s not going to get you free,” I laughed. “You’re only going to turn me on doing that.”
“What doesn’t turn you on?” She said. “I could fart and it would turn you on.” I laughed hard at that one. She was definitely amazing; only she could come up with something like that.
“I highly doubt that one,” I replied once I stopped laughing. She had calmed a little, and I leaned down and kissed her lips, her hands still pinned above her head. It was just a soft peck on the lips, and then I kissed her again, longer this time. My grip on her wrists loosened as she kissed me back. She slipped her hands free, and slid her arms around my neck, and I used my now free hands to brace my weight on the bed. I moved off her waist, and she casually slid her legs apart as I moved down between them. It was obvious where this was going. I was just about to push into her and she stopped me.
“Taylor, wait,” she whispered. We were both breathing heavy, and if I wasn’t inside her in the next twelve seconds I was going to burst. She reached up pulled open a drawer, pulled something out, closed it, and turned her attention back to me. She tore the little square package open using her teeth; by now I knew it was a condom. She tossed the wrapper on the floor, and reached down with it in her hands, and put it on me like it was nothing; just her touching me was enough to turn me into a quivering mass of nerves. “Okay,” she whispered, guiding me inside her. I sighed with relief, and she pulled me close. I’ll tell you this right now; I absolutely loved making love to her. It was honestly the best feeling I’d ever felt in my life; we fit so perfectly together, like we were made for each other. As my hips moved against hers, I took one of her hands from where she’d placed them behind my head, and laced my fingers with hers. She curled one leg over mine, trying to pull me deeper, or closer still – I don’t really know which, maybe it was both. I looked at her face and she had her eyes closed, her mouth slightly open, her cheeks flushed. I bent my head and kissed her lips, the fingers of one of my hands still tangled with hers. She kissed me back passionately. I pressed my forehead to her, my eyes closed now as well. She placed her free hand on my face, gently against my cheek, my body rocking still against hers.
“I love you,” she whispered in one breath. I thought I felt my heart stop. I had been dying to hear those words from her mouth. I stopped the movement of my hips, and pulled back a little to look down at her face. When she opened her eyes I was completely surprised to see tears. I thought maybe, for whatever odd reason, I was hurting her or something. But that wasn’t it at all. “I tried to tell myself I didn’t love you… but I do, I love you, Taylor.” She said softly, tears running from the corners of her eyes. I leaned down and kissed each of her tears away, then kissed the end of her nose.
“I love you so much,” I said to her, beginning the movement of my hips again. I kissed her lips again, and she returned it passionately. I gently squeezed her hand in mine, increasing the pace of my rhythm. I’m not going to be vulgar; I think I’ve been tasteful, so far, talking about this. I don’t need to go using filthy words to describe this; I think it’s obvious enough, and most of you know how it works anyway. But, God, it was so beautiful. It was only ever that beautiful with her. And as she held me tightly to her, reaching her climax, pulling me with her over the brink of ecstasy, I knew – I just knew; I had to belong here. This was where I belonged; she was where I belonged. But it was so much more complicated than that.
We just lay in bed, and held each other for a long time. I was reluctant to leave, but she made me, knowing that I had other obligations I had to see to, my wife and unborn child being one of them. I told her I’d be back to see her as soon as I could, kissed her, and we said our “I love you’s”, and I left.
I pulled into my driveway, and headed into my house. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I walked through the door. Was something breakable going to be hurled at my head? Was she going to scream at me? Was she going to say nothing? I was greeted with silence when I unlocked the door and walked inside. I checked the kitchen, but everything was untouched. So I went up to the bedroom, and the bed hadn’t been slept in. So she hadn’t been home either. The only other place she would be was my parents’ house, which meant she’d spent the night there. That was where I headed next.
I walked through the front door of my parents’ house, and into the kitchen where I knew I was sure to find someone. I found my mother drinking coffee at the table, and when she realized I was there, I got one of the dirtiest looks from her I ever remember seeing in my life. I walked toward her.
“Mom, I – “ That was as far as I got before she stood up and slapped me in the face. I quickly brought my hand to my stinging cheek; it stung so bad it made my eyes tear. I was sure she’d slapped me because of the way I’d treated Natalie, but I was wrong.
“Your fight with your wife is none of my business, and that had nothing to do with it,” she said, her voice low. “But your mouth around my children is very much my business. Don’t you ever use language like that in front of your brothers and sisters again. Do you understand me?” I don’t think she had slapped me in the face like that, before then, ever. It hurt, a lot. I nodded my head.
“Yes,” I said quietly.
“Good. And just so you know, I am appalled with the way you treated her yesterday. You were not raised like that. She’s upstairs in the other spare bedroom. I suggest you go talk to her; she’s been upset all night.” My mother said, and walked out on me. I guess I knew what it felt like now.
I made my way slowly up the stairs and to the spare bedroom Natalie had stayed in the night before. I really wasn’t looking forward to this, but I didn’t really have a choice. I knocked lightly on the bedroom door before entering.
“Hey,” I said quietly. She was lying on the bed, facing the wall by the closet. She didn’t say anything. “Natalie – “
“I can’t believe you actually stayed out the whole night,” she said quietly. I could hear the hurt in her voice, and I felt guilty because I knew I was the cause for it.
“I was mad. We were both mad,” I sat down on the edge of the bed. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” For what it’s worth? What the hell? I’m sure that meant a whole lot to her.
“For what it’s worth, Taylor, I don’t think you want to be in this marriage.” She said quietly. “If that’s the case, for what it’s worth, tell me now. At least that way I can leave and get on with my life.”
“Natalie… I don’t want to fight right now, okay?” I said softy. “Every married couple fights; we fought. Please, let’s just move on?” She sniffed quietly, and I knew she was crying. I really felt like shit by then. She had one hand under her head and the other on her stomach. I can’t explain why or how I knew, but something just seemed wrong. “Nat,” I said quietly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “What’s wrong?” She was quiet for a while.
“Nothing,” she said quietly. Somehow, I didn’t believe that.
“Tell me, please?” I was worried about her, and the baby. Last night was probably a lot of stress on her. She started crying again. “Hey…” I said soothingly, gently rubbing her back.
“I’ve had pains in my stomach all night,” she said, quietly crying.
“Natalie, did you call the doctor?” She shook her head. “I think we should. This could be something bad for the baby – “
“I think I’ll be ok now; it’s going away.” She said softly. I put my hand on her stomach, and she grabbed it. I wanted to be honest with her, so badly, but I couldn’t. If anything, I’d tell her after the baby was born.
“Everything’ll be ok,” I lied. I didn’t think everything was going to be ok, but it was what she needed to hear to calm down, so that’s what I told her. Yeah, I’m sure there’d be a lot of people who’d think real highly of me for what I was doing – note my sarcasm. I felt like such a shit. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I loved DeLorean, so much, but I couldn’t walk away from my marriage while my wife was pregnant. Once she had the baby it would be a different story.
I made her spend that day just taking it easy, and like the shit that I am, left that night after she was asleep so I could go see DeLorean. She and I were lying in bed together, and I guess she just sensed something was wrong because she called me on it.
“What’s on your mind, Tay?” She asked me quietly, her head on my bare chest, listening to my heartbeat I’m sure. She always did that – she said she liked the way it sounded. I shook my head, forgetting she couldn’t see it, and then spoke up.
“Come on, tell me. I’ll listen.”
“Well…” I was a little apprehensive to talk to her about my pregnant wife. “It’s just… Natalie was having pains all last night. I guess I’m just worried about the baby.”
“Oh,” she said quietly.
“I don’t wanna talk about that right now, anyway.” I said. I was gently running my fingers through her hair, something she often did to me, which always put me to sleep.
“Is she ok?” I was surprised she’d asked, so it took me a moment to answer.
“Yyyeah… I guess. She was asleep when I left.” I answered, feeling a sudden, incredible pang of guilt.
“Taylor… Your wife is going to give birth to your child in two months. Maybe… maybe we shouldn’t do this – “
“DeLorean, don’t. I love you, like I’ve never loved anyone before. I’m so in love with you it hurts. I’ve been doing some thinking…”
“And?” She queried.
“I think, after the baby’s born, I’m going have Natalie served with divorce papers.”
“Excuse me?” She sat up, holding the sheet to her bare chest. “Taylor – “
“It’s in everyone’s best interest – “
“What about your child? Is it in his or her best interest? Think about this –“
“Are you saying you don’t want to be with me?” I asked.
“No. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I love you, honest, I do. But I just don’t think you should leave your wife – “
“I don’t wanna talk about this,” I said, shaking my head. “Please, Del, I really don’t wanna talk about this. I’ll deal with it when the time comes. Okay?” She was silent for a long time, just sitting there, looking at me. She nodded once.
“Okay,” she said quietly, and lay back down beside me. I could tell she wasn’t happy with what I had told her. Things just weren’t panning out; this was getting more and more complicated, and the solution to the problem seemed to be getting harder and harder to figure out.