I had a rather remarkable experience yesterday morning. Natalie had to go for an ultrasound at eight a.m. and naturally I went with her. It was absolutely amazing. The woman who did the ultrasound pointed out the baby’s head, and arms and legs, even the fingers and toes. It was so amazing… We decided, together, that we didn’t want to know the sex; we wanted it to be a surprise. If it’s a boy she’s set on naming him Jordan after me, but I refuse to have his middle name be Taylor – I don’t want him to be a junior. We’ve been looking through a book of baby names and we’ve found a few that we like. If it’s a girl, we like the names Emily, Lauren, Victoria, Erin, and Piper. There are about fifty more, some probably prettier than those, but those are the ones I remember. Personally, I like the name Ezra, for a boy. She needs a little convincing though.
DeLorean did call me that day. I was actually a little surprised to hear from her; I didn’t think she was going to call after our kisses in the alley. I was glad to hear her voice, though. I missed her. I agreed to meet her that night, and this was the first time that I’d ever felt guilty about going to see her. After the ultrasound with Natalie, I realized that I really did love her, but that I was in love with DeLorean, too. I don’t know how that’s possible – to be in love with two women at the same time, but it seems that way to me. Or maybe I was only in love with one of them – loving someone and being in love with someone are two very different things. I felt bad about lying to Natalie; she asked where I was going, and I told her that I was going to go to Barnes and Noble to check out a few more Steven King novels to possibly buy. I was going there, but I wasn’t staying there; DeLorean was picking me up and we were going to talk.
I parked the Santa Fe next to a beat up old Chevy, and got out. I didn’t see her anywhere, but I had patience, and faith that she would show up. She did, not exactly on time, but she did. I was leaning on the back bumper of my car when she pulled up. She rolled down her window.
“I’m glad you came.” She said.
“I told you I would; I wouldn’t lie to you,” I replied.
“You don’t think this was a mistake, do you?” I shook my head. “Then you should get in this car and make me believe that.” She said seriously. I could see how she would have reservations about this – I’m a married man. I wasn’t sure how to greet her, and I don’t think she was quite sure how to greet me either, so we sat in silence for a moment, and then looked at each other. I leaned over and kissed her lips gently. Happily to my surprise she returned the kiss.
“I’m sorry I ran from you,” she said quietly. “It’s just… you’re married. And your wife is pregnant…”
“I know.” I replied, quietly as well. “But, DeLorean…” I looked right into her eyes. “I think I’m in love with you…”
“No, Taylor. No, you can’t be…”
“Tell me you’re not in love with me. Can you honestly say you’re not?” I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her reply. She stared intently at her steering wheel; I watched her close her eyes and rest her forehead against it.
“No, I can’t. But I can’t say that I am…” she whispered. I reached over and slid my fingers beneath her chin, lifting it gently. I leaned over and pressed my lips to hers. The kiss started off soft, very gentle, and deepened slightly. I felt her tongue just barely caress my own, and that was enough to deepen the kiss more. I slid my hand into her hair, and pressed her lips tighter to mine. I slipped my tongue easily into her mouth, and she responded by pushing her own into mine. After a minute or two we pulled back slowly. I pressed our lips together one more time, then pressed my forehead to hers, both of our eyes closed.
She kissed my lips softly, and pulled away. “You should get home. I’ll see you tomorrow?” She looked at me and I nodded.
“I’ll call you, and you’ll meet me for lunch?” She nodded this time. “Promise?”
“I promise,” she replied. I kissed her one last time before I got out of her car and into my vehicle. I watched her pull away, and started my car. I pulled out and went home, not even thinking that I hadn’t bought any books like a said I was going to.
I got home earlier than I had planned, which was good for my explanation of having no books. I found Natalie on the sofa, watching TV. When she saw me she smiled a little, and patted the couch next to her.
“You’re back early. Where’re your books?”
“Oh, I didn’t find any that I wanted to buy just yet. I’ll wait until I finish the one I have.” I sat down next to her on the couch. She kissed me and settled into my arms. I tightened my arms around her a little, feeling the baby kicking again. She tilted her head back and looked at me; I smiled knowing she obviously felt what I was feeling inside of her. “He or She knows Daddy’s home,” she said with a smile.
“You think?” I asked, not being sarcastic but actually wondering.
“Yeah, I do.” She answered honestly. I sat quietly for a moment. Finally, I turned and had her lay back, putting my hand on her still small stomach, watching her face light up a little. She smiled when I kissed her stomach, and spoke softly.
“You know I’m going to spoil you rotten when you’re born? I promise.” She laughed a little. “In case you don’t know, this is your Dad. I love you Little One, as much as I love anyone in this whole world.” She ran her fingers gently through my hair.
“He or She knows who you are, Tay, and loves you, so much.” I know she was speaking her own feelings too, and at that moment, I was thinking about how there was a part of me that was wishing that it was DeLorean pregnant with my child. I felt guilty as hell for it too. I slowly got up, and helped her up as well.
“It’s getting late,” I said quietly. “Let’s go to bed.” She nodded, and took my hand, as we started upstairs.
As we lay in bed that night, I thought about the fact that I had two women in my life, which was very inappropriate under the circumstances – Okay, so I guess it would be inappropriate under any circumstances. One of them was pregnant with my son or daughter, the other had just captured me – all of me – so completely, and I’m not even exactly sure what it was about her that made me fall in love with her. But I know it started the instant that we met.