=cowupday

A Short Tale of Switzerland

In the good old days of the past century, there were two very
special days in Switzerland.  Twice a year, one could awaken, in
spring and autumn, to the soft wound of bells, as a long line of
cows, attended by an officious sheepdog, walked the road up to
their alpine pasture in sprintgime, and back again in autumn.  It
is said that in times of yore the townspeople, dressed in their
most festive attire, would throng the roadside, and celebrate with
those great alpen horns, each one longer than a man is tall.

This geat horn, blown like a Shofar (which is a ram's horn, blown
to herald rebirth in innocence at the New Year were wondrous
indeed.  But even more so was the great animal of Switzerland who
had laid down his horn, modestly in a thicket, that the good
people of Switzerland might celebrate.
     These great animals are, of course, extinct --  to the great
regret of Noach, and even more so of his children, there was just
no way they could be allowed onto the Ark.  (Baggage allowances,
you know, especially on the lines of Israel.)  Though it is said
that Og of Bashon kept several as pets.
     (How Og of Bashon came to be in Switzerland, and how he was
able there to board Noach's Ark, is a story perhaps best saved to
another time. )

     But to resume:
     These two great days, one in the spring and one in the
autumn, were known, in the Swiss dialect, as  
                    **COW  UP  DAY**  
and                 **COW DOWN DAY**
And great joyous fetes they were.

     
     Returning this summer to Switzerland after too many years
amongst the island-faring folk, I eagerly awaited Cow Down Day,
prepared to attend that procession with all due respect and more.
(2)
     Alas, times have changed.  for it seems that nowadays the
cows must unceremoniously suffer their descent, as supercargo in
lorries.
     Amd thereby hangs a tail.

     It was not intended thus.
     When the highways became too crowded with mushroom rustlers,
the good people of Switzerland arranged that their cows should
travel in the finest Autobuses that the Service Postale could
afford.  To this end, the Swiss Parliament enacted, by special
referendum, a measure specifying that each cow should be issued a
special Abondamente, as they call it, entitling the holder to free
Autobus passage twice a year, on Cow Up Day and on Cow Down Day.

     Unfortunately, there was an unforseen problem:  cows, unlike
kangeroos, have no pockets.  (3) And so these special cards of
identity, obtained by so much effort, were often misplaced.  And
so -- well, you know how meticulous Swiss bus-drivers can be.   


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(3) It was at first thought that the problem could be simply
resolved hy herding kangeroos rather than cows.  But this plan was
soon abandonned, due to a shortage of pogo sticks.


(2)  This year Cow Down Day occurred on 15 Septembre, which was
also, of course erev Rosh HaShana.  For what cow could not but
wish to begin the New Year in her warm winter home.  For the bible
has made known to us that it is Israel which is "the land of milk
and honey".  
(The bees, too, undertake a similar migration, but that is another
story.)



             (Albergio Aquacalda
              3 Oct '04 -- 18 Tishrei
              Chol Moedim Sukot  )

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