=purav12

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                 THE BROIGES BEGGAR'S GAZETTE 
                   Publiee en Broiges, Belge
         "I had one Grunch, but the Eggplant over there."
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OUR PRICE:       -- NIE (New Israeli Euro) 1.5 --     -- CHEAP--
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                         VOLUME 2:  #11                           
                     Lesser Waning Av Edition
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     !CONGRATULATIONS! to Wm. Richman, Esq., for winning
                   The Battle of Billy's Trees.

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Who takes the name of the LORD in vain:  One who make a show of
his piety.

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HUMRA OF THE DAY
(Humra:  An excessively stringent extrapolation of halacha)'

TODAY'S GOTCHA FROM THE ORTHODOX ONION
"We make more fences than an onion makes skins."

Get a dozen Gotcha's and win one Brownie Point!
!!!Collect a million Brownie Points and be Chief Rabbi!!!

You can't wear a sombrero on Shabas.
Because it keeps the sun off your head, like an umbrulla can.
So wearing a sombrero is like carrying an umbrulla.
And you can't carry an umbrulla on Shabos.
Because you can't open an umbrulla on Shabos. 
And if you carry an umbrulla on Shabos someone might think you are
going to open it on Shabos.

Because opening an umbrulla is like pitching a tent.
And everyone knows you can't pitch a tent on Shabos.

Billy said:  Surely this applies only to an inflateable sombrero.

I say:  Everyone knows the Holy Miser was a turkey.  He gave lots
of tzadaka secretly, but he was so humble that whenever anyone
came to him asking for alms, he shouted at them and chased them
away, and then secretly sent them a challa.           
Gvalt, everyone want to be Clark Kent.

So ok:  We are responsible not only for doing good deeds; but also
for not letting others get the impression that we have done sins;
because then they may think it's ok to do sins.
So Moshe Rabbenu gave us a  complete financial statement. 

So I must not lead others astray, and must not let them use
something I did to lead thenmselves astray.

But this applies only to reasonable men of good faith.

It does not apply to someone with less IQ than an extinct dinosaur
with a hangover; and it does not apply to nitpicking pettifogging
academicians.

If someone can logically draw a preposerous conclusion from
something I did, that's his problem, not my responsibility.

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A congregation cannot both daven mincha after sunset and ma'ariv
before 3 stars.  Skia is in-between.  Maybe it can be assigned to
day, or to night, but it cannot be assigned to both at the same
time.  Which means:  by the same congregation.

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The birkat haCohenim is said daily in Jerusalem; outside Jerusalem
it is said only on Shabat and Hagim [ as far as I know ].
So why do they say it daily in Modi'in.
Because Modi'in is at the limit of one day's travel to Jerusalem.
Oy:  save it for Nineveh.
Why does being within one day's travel make part of the city.
Especially as the city is walled (as are all cities, if they would
last long.)
So do all settlements within the circumfrance of a day's travel
from Jerusalem do the birkat haCohenim daily.  Jericho and Hebron?

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