=purav6a ================================================================== THE BROIGES BEGGAR'S GAZETTE Publiee en Broiges, Belge "I had one Grunch, but the Eggplant over there." =================================================================- OUR PRICE: -- NIE (New Israeli Euro) 1.5 -- -- CHEAP-- ------------------------------------------------------------------ VOLUME 2: #4a LAZY EYORE EDITION ================================================================ In the month after Nisan, the rains of the year have ended. The grain grows tall, and is ripening and drying in the endless sun. It is Gan Eden for Donkeys. Hence the month was named in Babylon (where they babble on, as recorded in the babbley Talmud) AIYR, which is English'd Iyar or Eyore haHamor . ---------------------------------------------------------------- [For a striking dicussion of Yom HaAtzmaut, Vide Kitov, Book of our Heritage. I regret that I know it only in translation. My commentary follows:] Commentary (sa): Some say that on Yom HaAtzmaut we should say Hallel. Some say, we should say Tachunun. The matter is resolv'd thus: the Congregation recite Hallel, and also do Tachunun, for our recent governments have clearly shown that Meshiach has not yet fully dawned upon us. ================================================================ ChanaLeia, (zl'b), went to the airport in autumn, 1993. R. Shlomo was, as a woman wrote in the Jerusalem Post, in sad affection, "late even to his own funeral." ChanaLeah walked up to the bier. It seemed to her she heard R. Shlomo say, "This is a time to be very grounded." [ (heard (sa, best's I recollect now) from C-L_B, '93 ] ================================================================= One who could walk to shul on Shabat should not drive to shul on weekdays. Might run over a hungover groundhog. ================================================================= One may add to a fire on Shabat, for those who should be fed on Yom Kippur. =============================================================== Pharisees departing this world should take the Shabat elevator. Those wishing admittance to the various mansions in heaven should be accompanied by their lawyer(s). (Camping free.) ================================================================ Joe Sunhawk was a descendent of Gernonimo, and a Taos medicine man. His uncle was killed in a car crash near Ranchos. I tried to offer condolences. Sunhawk said: "Yes, he's gone now, but once he was an itty-bitty baby." ================================================================== Little Joe once said: "Dead don't need our prayers." But of course we can pray for those left behind. And maybe should, I think. It was the time for the first manned lunar expedition. George Robinson said Little Joe said: Know what they'll find when they get to the moon -- dead Indians. They were up at Lama and showed Joe a picture of eastern holymen - I think maybe it was my book from the Museum of Fine Arts Zen painting exhibition -- George, I think it was, said Little Joe said: All those Indians. Little Joe was at New Buffalo, in the courtyard. A visitor asked, Is that Little Joe. I said, "Well, he's not Big Joe." Joe asked "Who Big Joe? Who Big Joe?" He seemed a bit upset. George Robinson was there and understood, and said: "Oh -- some Texan." Little Joe was calmed, and went on with whatever he was talkng to George about. Corn maybe. Once I thought PVK was was the 2nd-wisest man I'd met. Once I wondered, maybe he's Big Joe. Or maybe it was Moshe Rabbenu. Or maybe there is no Big Joe; maybe it's just "united with all the illuminated souls that form the embodiment of the Master." If Jesus didn't exist we would have to have invented him; so maybe we did. ----------------------------------------------------------------- They told Dorothy Parker: Calvin Coolidge is dead. She said: How can they tell. This was Dorothy Rothschild, who married Mr. Parker and then went out to lunch. --------------------------------------- And Jesus said: Avraham ain't dead. Maybe Joe Sixpack is dead, but Avraham's doing ok. Zalman went into the tipi on Father's Day. He came out in the morning and said, I saw our father Avraham. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Dutch coffee ain't Genevre; that's a furniture-polish remover; Dutch courage as coffee, as-it-is-said (Kitzer Shulchan Aruch), if he can't face getting up from bed and walking to the Bet Knesset, let him chug a mug of Joe. "Go in and out the window" of the soul. --------------------------------------------------------------- "Brighten the corner where you are." (Heard (sa, ca. 1947) on a ca. 1920's gramaphone record. Christian, I assume.) "The LORD will hear the cry of the boy where's he's at." Where he's at; not where he wants to be; they kicked him out of there. And Ciel said, the Afro-Americans say: We're all daughters and sons of our Aunt Hagar. Ciel said, they say: Be very considerate of the feelings of serving-people, because [paraphrase, sa:] they're not free to crown you with a chamberpot and then peel out. Marilyn Strauss (Lidov), z'lb, said, her mother said: If the good Lord made anything better than sex, He kept it to Himself. PVK says: Meditation is the greatest luxury this world affords. Alev says: remember to praise Creation every day. Easiest in the early morning, says I. Jonathon Daniels says, when the birds are singing Psukei d'Zimrot, before they hold still for the Amidah at sunrise. David Herzberg said, The Baal Shem Tov liked a cup of coffee. [taped teaching]. So do the Bedouin. --------------- TIK said, best's I recollect: If you try to get ahead of yourself (and the Indians used to says, best's I recollect, 'I don't get ahead'; _____I think that was John Pedro and others) (HIK says, more or less, best's I understand: it's ok, if you want to, but know that then you'll be tested) then [paraphrase (sa):] maybe you fall off your plinth, Humpty_Dumpty as_it_is_said (Jefferson Airplane:): "and if you go chasing rabbits -- and you know you're bound to fall -- tell 'em a hookah- smoking caterpillar / has given you the call." "et jamais je ne soure, et jamais je ne ris" (Baudelaire, but what did he know from nothing) and RSC spoke often of those who want to "knock you off" and once he said (=shhays* or some such; Hanuaka at R. Yankele's; on my Websie), "they're right" I guess that's what they thought they were doing. Not like Essav trying to grab Yakov's heel as tries to climb up the ladder at Bet El) The Taos Indians live in pueblos with ladders. I sometimes almost forget which we are, Yaakov or Esav. ("A tale told of Shem or Shaun?" (Finnegan's Wake, conclusion.) But then, I'm an American. Orthodoxy has its limits; and Reform has its potential. ------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- "Garlic and saphires embedded in the mud." (TSE) The determination of which is best is left as an exercise for the reader; but don't invite me to your house for pasta. Shanti. Chantilly. Shiskabob. She got her hair cut in the style of Audrey Hepburn; a shiksa-bob. ----------------------------------------------------------------- ================================================================ NEW RULINGS FROM THE ORTHODOX ONION: "Making more fences than an onion makes skins" It is not the touch of a goy that makes wine unkosher, but the touch of sodium nitrate. Grape juice which can never again ferment is no longer yayin hayim, and so we do not say hageffen. What then do we say over that which contains artificial additives: "Who hath given unto the Byzantines the craft to fabricate ingenious devices" (after Yeats, obviously) Wine which has been conscecrated to conceptions of Deity other than our own is kosher only unto an Adept Metaphysician. Wine which has been consecrated unto pagan notions of a balagan of deities (as-it-is-said, "and out came this calf") is not kosher. Wine made by pagans is not kosher, for it might have been sacrificed to a pagan 2nd_string deity. Why then is vinegar made by pagans not kosher? Because it might have been sacrificed to a particularly ill_tempered lesser deity. (after Zelazny) =============================================================== BZ was teaching Reb Nachman and said, more or less, everyone knows: On Pesach we are taken out of Mitzraim ("between a rock and a hard place") "on eagle's wings" but then we have to climb back up ourselves, 49 steps (and each year the same, hopefully a little better) as-it-is-said, "the LORD will see the lad where he's at", until we get to Shavuot, the revelation at "Mt. Sinai". And remember Reb Nachman's story: after letting them wander through the 7 Palaces of the Holy Beggars', the Eagle brought them back to their bodies, and, said, take it from there boys, l'hitraot. "the valleys are filled with mist from each rise I find myself, surprised still climbing the distant mountain" (sa, Lama (San Cristobal), 1969) =================================================================