(10/1/98) I recently called an old friend from home that I had lost touch with - and during our conversation she told me about her child, who was a baby the last time I saw him. He is now 6years old and starting 1st grade... he has been classified as Autistic. During a follow up letter I wrote her - I told her about my feelings about being ADHD, I thought this might help her with her son. After I looked at what I wrote, I realized I had never really put my feelings into words before. I think I wrote it more to myself than to her. I hope she didn't take my letter in any bad way.
(friend)...was I still hanging out with you guys when my learning disability got diagnosed? Good old ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), It really did explain alot for me about my personality. I think it was when they put me on the Ritalin that I finally learned to love myself. **Because that stuff sucked!** It made me feel like a zombie!
By drugging me up and
calming me down, I felt like I lost an important and very vital part of my personality.
I like being me, which unfortunately for those around me, means being hyper (and unable to sit through a 3 hour church service) and incoherent at times and going on conversational tangents and rambling and forgetting things cause I get distracted easily or wind up hyperfocusing on something else and being inconsistent sometimes and speaking before I fully think about what I'm about to say first and other great and wonderful stuff like that... and believe it or not, I'm not being sarcastic here.
I learned to like who I am because I had a chance to see what it would feel like without my "disability." **It sucked! I wasn't me!** The part of me we were medicating was the part of me that I felt defined me, and the part that I liked the most about me.
So I now proudly say, "deal with it World... and be warned there's plenty more of us out there..." And on occasion, I just have to try to focus or conform or follow through a little more - that's all. It's hard, but most of the time I can do it... I think it's a small price to pay for being able to love myself as I am. And enjoy who I am.
I guess I felt the need to say all this to you because you are parents of a very special child. And I don't mean special as in disabled. I mean Special as in Gifted. As he grows, just consider hard (as I know you already do) the types of treatments and programs he'll be involved in... Just try to be sure that they don't cover up or take away from him his love
(or yours) of who he is - as he is. Try to teach him how fantastic and wonderful he is - as he is. Because sometimes being "Special" can be such a jewel - we just have to wipe the muck off it before we can really see it sparkle.
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Links to ADHD sites I've found