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| Mortal Now | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Songfic to "Demons" by Guster | |||||||||||||||||||||
| My words confuse you | |||||||||||||||||||||
| My eyes don't move or blink | |||||||||||||||||||||
| ��������� I think I'm going crazy. I never knew that being a mortal was so nerve racking. Of course, they don't have demons dropping by every other hour. Sometimes I wish that I had never been born. Then at least I'd have kept Phoebe out of harm's way... Phoebe. She's the one reason I'm still here. The reason I'm free from the Source. I should be thankful for that, I guess, but I'm not so sure anymore. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Cuz it's easier sometimes | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Not to be sincere somehow | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I make you believe | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Believe | |||||||||||||||||||||
| ��������� It's hard to find reason to be happy these days. My only comfort is her, my love. Phoebe's constantly trying to cheer me up with her little surprises, dinners alone. It doesn't help, though. My mind is always on the Source. Factions, warlocks, upper-level demons as well as lower-level ones. They could come bursting through the door at any moment, and there's nothing I can do to stop them. That's what scares me. I could lose her in the blink of an eye, or demon, as the case may be. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| When I speak across my fingers | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Will you know you've been deceived | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I find a need to be the demon | |||||||||||||||||||||
| A demon cannot be hurt | |||||||||||||||||||||
| ��������� I wish I had my powers back. Then I wouldn't feel so... confined. Inadequate. I can't do anything that I used to do, that I took for granted. Shimmering from place to place was a daily occurrence, and now I'm reduced to walking everywhere. It just makes me feel empty. I'm only half of who I used to be, and I can't take my mind off what I could do if I still had my powers. I could feel safe, I could protect myself. I could protect Phoebe. I bought the gun hoping that she would understand my insecurity. But she didn't. She doesn't understand me, like I don't understand her. She refuses to marry me, even now that I've lost my powers. I'm a mortal now. The only way I could ever hurt her is by loving her to death. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Honest is easy | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Fictions where genius lies | |||||||||||||||||||||
| 'Cuz it's easier sometimes | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Not to be involved somehow | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I make you believe | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Believe | |||||||||||||||||||||
| ��������� It makes me sick that she won't marry me. Physically and emotionally sick, but at least I somewhat understand what she's feeling. She doesn't know how to be a wife, like I don't know how to be a human. Without my powers, I can't do anything that I used to do. I can't hold fire, I can't shimmer, and I can't instill fear in the hearts of lower-level demons. But there is one thing I can do, better than before, now that I've gotten rid of my evil half: I can love. | |||||||||||||||||||||
| When I speak across my fingers | |||||||||||||||||||||
| Will you know you've been deceived | |||||||||||||||||||||
| I find a need to be the demon | |||||||||||||||||||||
| A demon cannot be hurt. | |||||||||||||||||||||