- Act VII - [Worf, Deanna, Scotty and Bones enter the Bridge from the Turbolift. Picard and Riker are already there, as is Data, who is sitting at the Conn chair] McCoy : Well, Captain Picard, let's go! Picard : Yes, Admiral. Mr. Data, take us out, 1/4 impulse. Data : Yes, Sir! Engaging impulse engines, 1/4 impulse. [As the ship leaves the dock, a ship's hoot is heard and the tune of 'The Love Boat' plays] Picard : What the hell is that??!! Data : I think those were some of the 'minor modifications' mentioned by Cmdr. LaForge, Sir. I think I can figure out a way to nulify them, Sir. Picard : Then make it so! [Data stays up from his chair, walks towards the Rockola and knocks it with his fist. The sounds end abruptly. Data turns back, raises both hands with thumbs up and says "Heeeyyyy!", then walks back to his station] [Which Rockola, you are asking? That one they have on the Bridge! Haven't you noticed it on every episode? Tsk, tsk! It's the funny instrument panel with blinking lights that you never knew _what_ it was] Picard : Mr. Data, take us to DS9 Station at warp 8! Data : Yes, Sir. Heading to DS8 Station at warp 9. Picard : I said DS9 at warp 8! Data : I was only joking, Sir. Now engaging warp engines at warp 8 towards DS9 Station. [As the ship enters warp, we have a commercial break] Barclay : You can't still get your holodeck program right as you would like it? Then call us at BARCLAYSOFT - we are THE experts in Holodeck Programs. You name it, we have it - and if we don't, we make it in no longer than 4 hours. We have created such masterpieces as the all-populars 'Castle Borgenstein 4-D', 'BooM III' and 'Rise of the Romulans', and the upcoming 'Viewscreens 2372' operating system and 'TOS Warp'. For more information, you can contact our President and Founder himself, Lt. Reginald Barclay, by subspace radio, toll-free at 1-800-NCC1701 (E), from 0800 to 2200 FTB (Federation Timebase). All our products come with a license for up to 5 Holosuites. Ask for our special discount for Ferengi bar-owners. [And now, back to STAR TREK 8: The Rescue of Kirk] - Act VIII - [Shot from the Enterprise-E (formerly Galactic Princess) docked to DS9 Station. Next, the scene changes to a shot of DS9's main square, and finally it changes to the inside of Quark's Bar] [While Quark is serving at the bar, Scotty and Bones approach] Quark : Yes? What would you like? The house's special? Scotty : A good Scotch for me! McCoy : And a bottle of Kentucky Bourbon for me... mine is already nearly empty! Quark : Oh, very well, gentlemen. A Scotch and a Bourbon... [To Rom] What the hell are those strange names for drinks? I've never heard of them before! Go try to learn something about them... [To Scotty] You'll be served in a minute, sir. [A hooded man enters the bar. Quark sees him] Quark : Oh, excuse me. [He walks towards the new customer] Is there some way in which I can be useful to you, sir? Hooded : I'm looking for a good pilot with a fast ship and no questions. Quark : Oh, I think I can guide you just to the proper man... but it will be difficult to get to him, I'll need some kind of... let's call it a forehand compensation for my services... Hooded : You don't need a compensation... Quark : I don't... I mean I _need_ a compensation... Kenobi : [To himself] What's happening? This is the first time ever that The Force has failed... Let's concentrate! [To Quark] You already got your compensation... Now I can follow you... Quark : I already got my compensation... Now you can follow me... [Quark takes him to the Holosuites and calls at the door of one of them. The door opens, and Captain Okona shows his head] Quark : This man wants to talk you about business... Okona : Oh! Then please wait a couple of minutes... [He disappears inside the Holosuite] Kenobi : Now you have to return to your business... Quark : Now I have to return to my business... [He returns to the bar] [Some moments later, the door opens again, and Okona invites Kenobi to enter] Kenobi : I understand you are one of the best pilots of the Quadrant... Okona : You were well informed. It's very difficult that you could find a better one at this time in this place. You were really lucky you could get me... Kenobi : I also heard that your ship is one of the fastest of this Quadrant. Okona : You're right again! The 'Erstwhile' is indeed the fastest ship of the whole Quadrant... Kenobi : Wait a minute! The 'Erstwhile', you said? Shouldn't it be the 'Millenium Falcon'? Okona : Of course not! It's always been the 'Erstwhile'! Kenobi : I think we haven't been properly introduced... You are Captain Solo, aren't you? Okona : No, I'm Captain Okona! Old man, where do you think you are? Kenobi : Isn't this the 'Cantina at Mos Eisley Spaceport' set? Okona : No, this is the 'Quark's Bar at Deep Space Nine Station' set! The one you are looking for is in the next studio, to the east... Kenobi : [Taking an old watch from his pocket and looking at it] Oh, damn it! I'm going to be late! [He exits the room still shouting "I'm gonna be late!"] [Meanwhile, back at the bar...] Quark : Well, gentlemen, here are the drinks you ordered... [He serves Scotty and Bones their respective drinks] Is there anything else I could do for you? Scotty : Well, yes! We are looking for a middle-aged Vulcan... Bones : A green-blooded, pointy-eared, damned Vulcan named Spock! Quark : A Vulcan! Sorry, but I haven't seen any around here for a long time. Wouldn't you like me to introduce you to a Klingon? [Suddenly, he sees a hooded man near the entrance, which makes him remember...] Quark : Excuse me, I've just remembered that man has a pending account with me... [He walks towards the hooded man] Hey, you! I don't know how you did it, but you nearly managed to make me forget your pending account! Where's my compensation? Hooded : I don't know what pending account or compensation you're talking about. Quark : Come on, you liar! Do you deny you owe me a compensation for taking you to Captain Okona? Hooded : I don't know that Captain Okona you're talking about. Besides, I'm incapable of lying. [He uncovers his head, revealing the face of... Spock!] Quark : [Looking at him in astonishment] You... you're a Vulcan! - Act IX - Quark : Oh, I beg your pardon, Sir. I certainly shouldn't have doubted of your word. Tell me, is by any coincidence your name Spock? Spock : I accept your apologies. And yes, I am Ambassador Spock, of Vulcan. Quark : Oh, Ambassador! Let me apologize again. Please take a seat! This is my house's best table. [Spock sits down] Could I perhaps offer you something to drink? The house will pay for it. Spock : Well, maybe some Romulan ale... Quark : Of course, Sir! You'll be served in less than a minute! [Quark walks away and returns to Scotty and Bones at the bar] Quark : Tell me, are you still interested in finding that Vulcan you mentioned before? McCoy : Yes, he's the reason for our presence here. Quark : And would you offer some... er... reward for any information that could lead you to him? Scotty : Maybe... depending on the results obtained from that information... Quark : Oh, then I'll be glad to take you just directly to him. Please follow me! [He takes them to Spock's table] Quark : Gentlemen, Ambassador Spock. Ambassador, ... McCoy : Spock, you damned S.O.B.! We've been looking for you! You must come with us to rescue Jim! Spock : I'm also glad to see you, Doctor, Mr. Scott. But what you expect me to help you with is impossible - Jim Kirk died 78 years and 4 months ago. McCoy : He's NOT dead, not JIM! At least, he was alive two months ago... Spock : Could you please explain that, Doctor? McCoy : He was trapped in a timeless zone called the 'Nexus', until two months ago, when Captain Picard got trapped there too, and they managed to escape together... Spock : Fascinating... Scotty : And what were you doing here, Mr. Spock? Spock : I actually came here to try to find traces of my nephew Tuvok. McCoy : Your NEPHEW! I thought you didn't have any brothers, except your half-brother Sybok - and he died 3 films ago, without descendants. Spock : You are right, Doctor. I didn't have other brothers - but I had a SISTER. Scotty : How does it come you never told anything about her? Spock : Well, you must admit you never asked me. McCoy : And that Tuvok - am I right if I assume he's her son? Spock : Yes, Doctor, your conclusion is right. At this time, he is the USS Voyager's Security Chief, and he had infiltrated the Maquis, when the ship he was aboard disappeared somewhere among the Badlands. The USS Voyager went to search for them, but it also disappeared... Scotty : So your sister thought that, being an analytical Vulcan, you would be more successful in searching for them. Spock : You're very perceptive, Mr. Scott. Unfortunately, my investigations haven't discovered any relevant data which could have been omitted by Starfleet. So there's nothing else I can do here. But now, Dr. McCoy, could you be more specific about what you meant when you said that Jim "at least was alive two months ago"? McCoy : Er - well, while helping Captain Picard save the Galaxy (again), he - er - died... two months ago... Spock : So Jim IS dead. McCoy : Damn it, Spock! By knowing the precise instant in which he was killed, we can be able to _avoid_ his death! Spock : Must I assume you are suggesting that we do a slingshot in order to travel back in time and rescue Jim, Doctor? McCoy : Brilliant! So you really have _something_ inside your head between your pointy ears! Spock : Doctor McCoy, I think you aren't conscious of the potential damage to the structure of our Universe by interfering with the past - the so-called "Entropy Effect". McCoy : Damn it, you silly Vulcan! Jim was your _friend_! If we did it with a couple of whales, we can do it with Jim! We need you to adjust the trajectory for the slingshot! JIM needs you! What about your human side? Has it been _buried_ under all that useless Vulcan logic? Spock : I remember Jim telling me that sometimes, the needs of the _one_ outweight the needs of the _many_ - when he returned me back to life. All right, Doctor, I will do it. McCoy : Great! Then, as soon as I can get an adequate ship, we'll depart towards Veridian III... Spock : 'We'? Must I understand that you are planning to come with us? McCoy : Of course I do! I can't simply stay here and wait to know about the success of the rescue mission! Scotty : But Doctor, I think you are too old for taking such a risk. McCoy : I already have taken care of that. Remember, I'm a doctor, not just an Admiral! I was Admiral Mark Jameson's personal doctor and got a sample of the youth elixir he drank. And now I've finally managed to replicate it and eliminate its nasty side effects by adding an ounce of Kentucky Bourbon, so I can drink it safely now... [McCoy opens his bag and takes a bottle out of it, the content of which he pours into his glass and then drinks...] Scotty : What did it taste like? McCoy : Not bad, but -hicks- it sheems I inshoduced anosher shide effect to it... -hicks- Funny, I don't feel any shounger... Scotty : That's because ya forgot to say "Shazam!". Spock : You shouldn't have done that, Admiral! Let's better take him to the Medical Center immediately, Mr. Scott! McCoy : Dammit, Spock, I'm a doctor, not a patient! Spock : You are behaving in a very irrational way, Dr. McCoy. You are putting you life at risk. McCoy : Listen, Spock, I'm not going to let any damned Vulcan tell me... [Spock applies him the Vulcan Grip, leaving him unconscious] Spock : So, now, Mr. Scott, let's take him to the Medical Center. Scotty : As you say, Mr. Spock. [They take the unconscious Bones and begin carrying him outside. As Quark sees that, he approaches them] Quark : Excuse me, gentlemen, but what about my reward? Scotty : Your reward? Your awful drink has nearly killed the Admiral and you expect a reward? You oughta be glad that we don't _demand_ you! Starfleet could have your establishment closed and you jailed... [Suddenly, Odo morphs from a vase on top of a nearby table] Odo : So you want him jailed? May I know what he has done? Scotty : Isn't it evident? The poor Admiral got badly sick after drinking that poor excuse of whisky he served us! And now he expects us to _reward_ him! Ha! You'll hear notices from Starfleet Command! And from the Vulcan Government! Spock : Excuse us, but we don't have a moment to lose. We must take the Admiral to the Medical Center immediately. [Spock and Scotty exit the bar carrying Bones] Odo : So, Quark, what do you have to say? Quark : At least they could have paid for the other two drinks! - Act X - [Dr. McCoy begins to regain consciousness. At first, he can't speak and only can see shadows through a foggy veil, but he hears the voices...] Scotty : And how's the Dr., Doctor? Bashir : Well, it seems the de-ageing process is now slowing down and will completely stop in a couple of hours... Scotty : Are you sure he won't be killed in the same way Admiral Jameson was? Bashir : Well, my analysis indicates that the substance reacted with the alcohol radicals present in the Bourbon -or maybe the ones present in the Admiral's bloodstream- and this has changed its properties to a degree high enough as to allow the regeneration of the tissues as to produce a de-ageing process of some 80 years or so, but stable enough as to allow him to survive the process! Spock : But, Dr. Bashir, I think you... [Bones hears the name and, making an effort, incorporates on the table] McCoy : BASHIR?! JULIAN Bashir?! No!! You can't be a doctor in exercise! You _failed_ the exams! You should be selling tennis balls in a department store...! Bashir : Oh, my God! He's in a terrible Delirium! I've got to SEDATE him immediately! [He applies a hipospray to Bones, making him lose consciousness again] Spock : Tell me, Dr. Bashir, what was all that the Admiral said about you failing your exams at Starfleet Medical? Bashir : Oh, I already told you... just a delirium! He was... phantasizing! Now you can take him with you and in a couple of hours, as I told you, he'll be pretty good! Good bye! [Bashir practically forces Scotty and Spock to carry Bones out of the Medical Center]