- Act XIX -

[Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Uhura are sitting outside the 'Little Bighorn'. Scotty
is working on the damaged engine. The pilot comes out of the Runabout and
approaches the group]

Spock     : We already have passed through this situation, Captain. We won't
            be able to hide all the truth from him.
Kirk      : Yes, we'll have to tell him who we are and make him promise not to
            tell anything. Look, here he comes.
Pilot     : Your so-called plane doesn't look like anything I've seen before.
            It looks more like one of those spaceships I've read about in the
            Science-Fiction magazines. Now, really, who are you?
Kirk      : [Dropping the logs he was holding] Well, look - er - what's your
            name, anyhow?
Pilot     : You can call me Gene.
Kirk      : Look, Gene. We come from your future. From the late 23rd century.
Spock     : Really, Captain, we were already on the 24th century.
Kirk      : You're right, Spock. The 24th century, then. I'm Captain James T.
            Kirk, from the United Federation of Planets, and these are Captain 
            Spock, Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Commander Nyota Uhura and the
            one repairing the ship's engines is Captain Montgomery Scott.
Spock     : Actually, Captain, in the time you've been absent, I now have the
            title of Ambassador, and Dr. McCoy is now a Senior Admiral.
Kirk      : Really? Congratulations! Well, as I was telling you, we had an
            accident which brought us back in time and it was then that we
            collided with your plane, as we were trying to find a safe place
            for landing.
Gene      : I knew it! I knew Man would some day reach the stars, that it was
            not only fiction but a real possibility!
Kirk      : Well, you must understand you can't reveal this information to
            anybody else.
Gene      : But why not? The people has the right to know about this! Tell me,
            are there still wars on your time?
Kirk      : Well, no - at least not on Earth, but... This is not the point!
            You can't tell this to anybody, or you could change History! Your
            future, which is our past, could be changed, and the Universe as
            we know it would disappear. We've been here enough time, now we
            have to go back to the future!
[Kirk walks toward the Runabout]
Kirk      : How's it going, Scotty?
Scotty    : I think it goes, Captain! Just let me make a few more adjustments
            here and we'll be ready for take-off!
[Kirk walks back to the group]
Kirk      : OK, folks, Scotty says he'll be ready soon. [To Gene] As for you,
            we'll provide you with some replicated food - enough for you to
            survive until a rescue team finds you. We are not too far from the
            place where your plane crashed into the sea.
Gene      : But wait! I want to know more!
Kirk      : Sorry, Gene, but I can't tell you more. Come with me and we'll
            take some food from the replicator for you.
[Kirk and Gene enter the Runabout. Some minutes later, they exit with some food
supplies]
Kirk      : [Leaving the supplies on the ground] Well, I think this will be
            enough for some two weeks.  No one could be stranded on this island
            for more time than that!
Scotty    : Captain, I've finished the repairs! We can take off whenever you 
            want!
Kirk      : Well, Gene, we are going back to the future. I wish you the best
            luck of the world.
Gene      : Goodbye, Captain Kirk. I promise you I'll try not to mention this
            to anyone.
[Kirk boards the 'Little Bighorn' and closes the hatch. Suddenly, Gene notices
a parcel lying behind the supplies]
Gene      : Captain! Wait! You're forgetting your...
[The Runabout takes off without any sign of someone having heard Gene, and goes
into space. As Gene looks into the parcel, we see it is the Enterprise's logs]


                                   - Act XX -

[The 'Little Bighorn' is leaving Earth and heading towards the Sun for a new
slingshot]
Kirk      : Spock, have you finished the new calculations?
Spock     : Nearly, Captain. Since I don't know the exact parameters introduced
            by the repairs made by Mr. Scott, I'll have to extrapolate them.
McCoy     : You're getting more human each time, Spock!
Spock     : Doctor, this is no time for insults. Let me concentrate on the
            calculations... I'm finished, Captain.
Kirk      : Well, then give me all the power you have, Scotty! Fasten your
            seatbelts, folks!
[The ship slingshots around the Sun, shaking again. As the maneuver is over...]

Kirk      : Were we successful?
Spock     : Let me check the sensors, Captain. Hmmm. According to the readings,
            we are in the Solar System... but the time seems to be the late
            23rd century, not the 24th.
Uhura     : Captain, we are being hailed by another Starship!
Spock     : The sensors indicate the presence of two Excelsior-Class Starships
            in the area, Captain.
Kirk      : On screen!
[The viewscreen is connected and shows the image of Sulu on the Bridge of the
Excelsior]
Sulu      : This is the Federation Starship USS Excelsior to unidentified ship.
            Please identify yourself.
Kirk      : Sulu! I'm glad to see you!
Sulu      : Captain Kirk! We were just returning from our search for your body-
            without having succeeded! I'm glad to see you, too! How did you
            survive the accident?
Kirk      : It's a very long story, Sulu...
Scotty    : Captain! There's a major failure in the engines! It seems that the
            emergency repairs couldn't stand the effort of the slingshot! The
            starboard engine is losing power and will probably explode!
Kirk      : Sulu, quick, let's beam us out of here! 5 for transport!

[Aboard the Excelsior...]
Sulu      : Sulu to Transporter Room! Lock on that ship! 5 to beam up! Quick!

[On the Excelsior's viewscreen, the 'Little Bighorn' is seen exploding]
Sulu      : Captain to Transporter Room - did you get them on time?
Chief     : All of'em, Captain! They are already climbing off the transporter
            pads!
Sulu      : Escort them here to the Bridge!
Chief     : Understood, Captain!

[Moments later, as the five enter the Excelsior's bridge]
Sulu      : Captain! Mr. Spock! Doctor! Scotty! Uhura! I'm glad to see all of
            you again!
Scotty    : So we do, Sulu, so we do.
[They all shake hands]

Rand      : Captain, the Enterprise is calling us.
Sulu      : On screen!
[The viewscreen shows Chekov on the Captain's chair of the Enterprise-B]
Chekov    : Sulu, vat's happened? Ve saw that ship explode and... Keptin Curk!
Kirk      : Pavel! Are you now in command of the Enterprise-B? What happened
            to Captain Harriman?
Chekov    : He resigned his command on Tuesday, Keptin! But ve've been looking
            fer you fer a whole tvo veeks! How is it that you are alive?
Kirk      : I owe my life to my friends, Pavel. As I always stated, while they 
            would be near me, I wouldn't die.
Chekov    : Keptin, vould you like to come here and command the Enterprise?
Sulu      : What do you say, Captain?
Scotty    : Like in the old times, eh?
Kirk      : Well, I don't really know...
McCoy     : Come on, Jim!
Kirk      : What do you have to say, Spock?
Spock     : It's your decision, Jim.
Kirk      : Well, why not? Beam us there, Pavel!
Chekov    : It'll be an honour, Keptin! Transporter room, fix on Keptin Curk's
            coordinates aboard the Excelsior - 5 to beam up.
[Once again, the five are transported and rematerialize aboard the Enterprise]

Chief     : Welcome, Captain Kirk! Do you know the way to the Bridge?
Kirk      : Yes, thank you, Chief.
[The group exits the Transporter Room and goes to the Bridge. As Chekov sees
them, he stands up and walks towards Kirk]
Chekov    : Keptin Curk, I'm giving you the command of the USS Enterprise,
            Starfleet Registry NCC-1701-B. And I'm very happy to see all of
            you again!
Kirk      : Thank you, Pavel. [He seats on the Captain's chair. Applauses]

[Sulu appears on the viewscreen]
Sulu      : Well, Captain, where do you plan to boldly go this time?
Kirk      : Oh, I don't know for sure - maybe just to Infinity and beyond!
Sulu      : We would be honoured to escort you, Captain.
Kirk      : Well, let's see... How about a little slingshot to some time in the
            late 24th century? I'd like to see how Picard's doing...
Spock     : I'll have the calculations finished in just two minutes, Captain.
Kirk      : Well, guys, we are together once again. Just like in the old times,
            eh?
Scotty    : Yes, Captain! Now we'll show we can still beat any crew in the 
            whole Starfleet!
Spock     : I've successfully programmed the results of my calculations in the
            navigational computer. We're ready for the slingshot.
Kirk      : Excellent! Transmit the data to the Excelsior's computer and then
            take us at maximum warp, Ensign!
Demora    : Yes, Captain!
[The camera switches to an outside view. First the Enterprise and then the
Excelsior head towards the Sun and perform a slingshot, disappearing from the
present time into WHEN no one has gone before...]

                THE HUMOUR ADVENTURE IS JUST BEGINNING (AAARGHHHHH!)