A Different Loving

Our World of Domination and Submission

Welcome to the Homepage for MasterRed and Chibonfire. We hope you enjoy it! As you might have guessed, this page draws it's name from the title of the popular book. Since knowledge truly is power, we would like to tell you a bit about ourselves and provide you with some additional links and references that will give you a better understanding of dominance and submission.

Our chosen lifestyle preference is that of a dominant male and submissive female. Some might view this lifestyle choice with horror and mystique. It is sometimes difficult to explain the physical and emotional elements of such a relationship. It is about things like ownership, control, surprise, and adventure. About growing together, based on trust and love.

Following are some quotes from the authors of "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" which attempt to explain some of the aspects of this lifestyle:

"In exchange for obedience by the submissive, the dominant agrees to care for and work towards the pleasure of both partners. Thus empowered by the sub, the dominant takes control of their scenes and agrees to abide by the limits she sets.....With a natural submissive, however, an innate craving to please her dominant is strong and unquestionable. A natural dominant also feels an instinctive need to feel in charge, yet NEITHER can realize these parts of themselves without the OTHER."
Submissive: "A person who surrenders control of herself to her dominant. The submissive, while putty in the hands of a dominant whom she trusts and respects, is likely to be independent and assertive in any other arena."
Dominant: "One who accepts control of a submissive."
Sadomasochism: "Any activity involving power exchange between consenting adults. This includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D/S), English culture, corporal punishment, erotic restraint, humiliation, and sexual control."
Bondage and Discipline: "B&D is perhaps most widely used to describe bondage, the practice of tying and/or chaining somebody in a provocatively compromising position. Discipline within the ropes can take various forms from forcing the bound submissive to provide sexual or non-sexual servitude within mildly restrictive bondage, to heavy, completely restrictive bondage coupled with taking a whip to her backside. When discipline takes the form of whipping or spanking it is frequently referred to as corporal punishment."
Sadist: "The term describes one who gets sexual pleasure from the giving of pain, domination, and/or humiliation...The good sadist uses the ability of the human mind to turn pain (and/or the aforementioned humiliation) into erotic stimulation to give his partner pleasure...He never purposely damages his partner...and he spends hour upon nauseating hour pondering, researching, and expounding upon safety issues within the practice of SM."
Masochist: "One who derives sexual pleasure by receiving pain, domination, and/or humiliation...it is only pain within the erotic context that she enjoys...within the scene, the term is often used to distinguish between those with a higher tolerance or enjoyment of punishment as opposed to those who prefer more sensual activities."

We strongly believe that all activities must be SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. With this in mind, we believe there is no "right" or "wrong" BDSM style. The "right" style is whatever works the best as determined and negotiated between each couple, taking into account the wants and needs of both. There are as many different BDSM viewpoints as there are couples. In general, MasterRed is a sadist, and Chibonfire is a masochist.
MasterRed and ChiBonfire first met while chatting on AOL. After talking for several months, we unexpectedly met in person for the first time in 1996 at a DS party in Chicago. We took things slow at first, getting to know each other, discussing lifestyle philosophy, wants, and needs. Our relationship grew first as friends, earning each others trust and respect before anything else. We were married in September, 1997.

Qualities of a Successful Dominant

Some Noteable Quotes:
"And did you get what you wanted from this life even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth." - Raymond Carver
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. " - Eleanor Roosevelt
"I count him braver who conquers his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self." - Aristotle
"No man is free who is not master of himself." - Epictetus
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears however measured and far away." - Henry David Thoreau

Usenet Newsgroups on the Web
- alt.sex.bondage
- alt.bondage
- alt.sex.exhibitionism
- alt.sex.stories
- alt.sex.femdom
- alt.sex.spanking
- alt.sex.stories.bondage
Some Interesting Toys and Clothing Links on The Web
LeChateau Exotique, Ltd.
Diva's Shoes and Fashion Accessories
Dream Dresser
Nice-N Naughty Toy Store
The Stockroom
The Blowfish Corporation Toys
Hanson Paddles
MIKO

The Toy Bag Paddles and Whips
(Thanks to Greg at The Toy Bag for letting us use the photo of their nice wood and leather paddle shown below, The Thwacker)

Some D/s Resource and Information Links on The Web
Ds Kiosk
Society for Human Sexuality at University of Washington - Excellent discussions of sexual practices including BDSM
D/scussion
The Boston Dungeon Society
The Arizona Power Exchange (APEX)
National Leather Association
The Eulenspeigel Society
The Society of Janus
LATEX
The C-Red Spanking Resource
The alt.sex.bondage FAQ List
S&M: A Players Handbook
The Spanking Resource Guide
Different Loving

Links to other sites on the Web
Michigan State University Athletics Home Page
Miami Dolphins Unofficial Home Page (Bonfire is a Dolfan)
The Detroit Red Wings: Hockeytown USA
Lansing Links of Interest
Chicago

Some Selected Texts:
"Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns" by Philip Miller and Molly Devon, ISBN # 0-9645960-0-8
"Different Loving" by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and John Jacobs, ISBN # 0-679-76956-0
"Topping from Below" by Laura Reese, ISBN # 0-312-12000-1
"The Story of O" by Pauline Reage, ISBN # 1-56201-035-2
"The Loving Dominant" by John Warren, ISBN # 1-56333-218-3

Some Articles on BDSM Play
A beautiful 50 tail deerskin flogger made by Janette Heartwood
An Introduction to Flogging
Some Notes on Caning
Grim's Flogging FAQ
Spanking Information
Floggers 101
Heartwood Whips of Passion

This page is lovingly dedicated to ChiBonfire, my wonderful collared submissive, best friend, partner, and lover for life...thank you my precious pet - Master

You Are Visitor Number To Access This Page Since February 4, 1997

We can usually be found in the "LeChateau" room on AOL.

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