A Random Grab Bag

• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
• You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
• Someday, we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• There are 26 vitamins in all, but some letters are yet to be discovered.
• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around these days.
• Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're here.
• The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
• I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important thing.
• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
• It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.
• Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.
• Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
• A monsoon is a French gentlemen.
• The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.
• When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
• In some rocks, you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
• For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
• Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
• The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
• A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water and then forcing it through an aviator.
• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on top and you sit on the bottom.

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