Discrimination

I am so mad and upset at this moment that I am going vent on you. I am so angry with discrimination. I mean we have all had to face discrimination from so called "straight society" and unfortunately we have seen it also from the gay and lesbian communities also. Now I am seeing it more and more from within our own community. CD's versus TS's and even to the point with post-op TS's versus non-op TS's. These hurt, but what has gotten me so furious is discrimination within support groups based solely on if you pass or not. Most of it comes from senior members, who ought to know and remember what a support group is for, who refuse to associate with other, mostly new, members simply because they do not meet their standards. This is a SUPPORT GROUP and not their personal social club. This has really hit me hard because I have seen these individuals do damage to some new girls. A new girl's ego and self esteem is egg shell fragile and it does not take much to crack what little confidence they have and drive them back, deep within their closet.

Can you remember back to your first support group meeting? In mean you probably had been planning this big event for weeks. As the day neared you had your clothes all picked out and had been practicing your makeup so that you could present your best possible image and getting more nervous by the minute. On the big day you steeled all your courage to make that long journey. It could be to drive to a meeting place that takes forever where everyone sees you. Or maybe it was to walk down the longest hallway you have ever seen to a room in a hotel. You enter the room where you see others who all turn to look at you. You nervously look for and see a lone chair off to one side, and you rush to it before your legs give out on you. As you sit down prim and proper with your hands folding neatly in your lap you breath a sigh of relief and as your heart slows down to 120, and you shout to yourself "I'VE MADE IT." Now as your brain comes back into focus you begin to look around at all the other ladies and some men in the room. They are talking in groups and looking at you as you sort of smile back at them. You calm down and begin to look at the ladies more closely and you see how they are dressed and realize that their makeup is perfect and their clothes are more stylish than yours. You begin to feel very self conscious that you are not in their class but hey everyone is a friend here. You sit their and no one has come up to you to talk to you and you sort of feel left out but then the meeting begins. You are introduced during the meeting and polite pleasantries are exchanged, and you are feeling good if only your stomach would unknot. As the meeting winds down, you overhear conversations about everyone going out to eat or maybe to a club, and you think to yourself that will be great. You always wanted to go and now you can and with a great bunch of girls. And then you realize no one has really come over to talk to you and no one has invited to accompany them to the after meeting get together. And then you feel what you have felt all your life; You Are Still All Alone. And now you the feel the hurt of rejection from those that you had expected so much from. And as the meeting breaks up you head back to your room or home in tears from the worse let down in life. And you decide that your dream is not worth pursuing if this is the reaction that you get from others who were suppose to understand and accept. So you go to bed in tears with no future to look forward to.

That is the sort of damage that uncaring individuals can do to a new girl. Okay so she does not pass because her makeup is not good. Then why not offer to help her or to show her how. So her choice of clothes are not those that blend in with where you might go. Offer to go shopping with her. Were you perfect when you came to your first meeting? This is suppose to be a support group where we all come in the common interest of helping each other. To exclude someone just because they do not pass is cruel. What if you looked like a Green Bay Packer in a dress, how would you feel to be excluded because God did not bless you with a body of a super model? For those that want to socialize then include everyone or do it on your own time on another day. This group is for everyone and is not your own personal social group. Do not turned your backs on those that do not meet your arbitrary standards; help them become their best. Take the time to go up to that girl or guy sitting alone and make sure that they feel welcomed and that they belong.

Okay. I feel better now, but the problem still remains. I hope that if you are one of those the does discriminate that you will make the effort to change. We need your skills and leadership to help other. Set the good example and not one that I am ashamed of. Thank you for letting me vent.

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