If You Want Something Done, You Gotta Do It Yourself

I just got back from a support group meeting and I am up set. I had a good time and met some new friends but something about the meeting has really gotten to me. It took me a while to figure out what it was that has me feeling this way. I am really put out with some of the members who attended. No, they did not do anything to me personally. More to the point, I am the one who is disappointed in them. Now do not get me wrong because they are very nice people, but there is something about them that just grates on me. And I am sure that there are people just like them in every support, even the non-TG ones, or why would we call them support groups.

What is getting to me is that these people have a problem. Actually they have a lot of problems but they have one problem that is common to them which is bugging like a mosquito in your bedroom at night. I know they have problems because I hear about them month after month after month. I expect I will be hearing about them at the next meeting and would not be surprised if am hearing about them at this same time next year.

Now we all have problems, I know I have plenty but at least I am trying to deal with them so I can get on with my life. These folks come to the meetings and they get our feedback and suggestions as any good support group would do; however, they chose to not act upon them, and that is the problem. So next month I will get to hear about their problems again and how they did not choose to do anything about them.

Now please do not call me hard hearted, but people, we cannot do everything for others. At some point in your life, you have to make it happen or chose to not make it happen. If you choose to not make it happen then stop griping about making that choice and get on with your life. Your mother carried you for nine months and now you expect us to carry you for the rest of your life. Well Honey, it aint gonna happen. The only way you are going to get beyond this point in your life is to take the bull by the tail and face the situation. If you decide to ignore the problem then that is fine; it is no longer a problem because you have decided to accept the issue. Fine, now move on to something else. Think of it as having a handicap. You just got to learn to live with it.

I do not mind helping someone who is willing to work on their problems, but I refuse to waste my time on someone that is not willing to do anything for them self. The bottom line is that the only person with the power to solve your problems is you. You have to face them, deal with them and do the best you can to minimize their affect on your life. All we can do is give you tools, resources, knowledge and support to help you handle the situation, but you have to put all of that to work. You are the only one who can make it happen. You just got to do it yourself.

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