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Who IS this guy?
I like to say that I was, "...born in East L.A." That's not exactly
true - I was born in Los
Angeles and not
East Los Angeles. Specifically, by the way, on February
23, 1970 at the Queen of Angels Hospital. I was also promptly baptized Catholic.
Thankfully, after only a few years of Sunday school, my Catholic upbringing
ended there. Nonetheless, I used to think I had a guardian angel looking out
for me - perhaps I still do...
My mom, dad and I - I was and still am the
only child - spent my first few years in an apartment in Chinatown. One of my mom's favorite stories is how I was crowned "Prince of
Chinatown" in a baby pageant (beating out my cousin Nat, who got in a
fight with another kid).
Our first move was to a house in Cerritos. In fact, only a few miles from
Knott's Berry Farm. It really was a farm back then. I remember going
weekly to pet the animals and ride the donkeys. The other thing I remember
about our house was that it was next to a cow pasture. The smell is a very
STRONG memory of living there.
We then moved back to Chinatown for a short time. My strongest memory of the time is when I was forced
to go to Chinese school. I went home one day with the assignment to write
Chinese characters over and over in a workbook (a standard practice). I started
doing this and then crawled into my father's lap and cried. They didn't make me
go back to the school after that.
The next move was to a house in San Marino. This was definitely an improvement. San Marino is a nice, old community with beautiful houses set
back from already wide streets, where oak trees on either side practically span
the distance between. I spent from preschool through third grade there, which
were very formative years for me, and from which I have a lot of good memories.
My parents then decided to design and build
their "dream house". They proceeded to do so in Diamond Bar. Diamond
Bar is very different from San Marino. It is a much newer community, not too long ago
having been a ranch which used a diamond-shaped branding bar. One good thing
about it was that there was much less of a racial issue. Diamond Bar is a very
ethnically-diverse community, whereas San Marino was predominantly white when I was growing up there.
I have some mixed feelings about growing up in Diamond Bar. Diamond Bar was not
as rich of an environment as San Marino was. But perhaps that has made me more down-to-earth
than I might have been had I stayed in San Marino.
After graduating from Diamond Bar High
School ('88), I went to Stanford to get a
bachelor's degree in Computer Systems Engineering ('92) and a master's degree
in Electrical Engineering ('93 - concentration in Network Systems 'cuz I'm really not all that technical). During that time, I
became Buddhist and vegetarian (although I still eat dairy and egg products).
Stanford was a great experience. I really appreciated having all those
resources available. I was able to explore interests I had never been able to
before. I only somewhat regret I didn't get to date guys during college. I was
still trying to date women at the time. But I had a lot of fun with everything
else!
After graduation, I moved to Sunnyvale to start work. I then finally decided to face my sexuality. My issue was that I didn't know what
gay people were like (because I didn't know any and had shied away from them in
the past), and could not acknowledge whether or not I was gay until I
understood what that meant. I had been exploring gay newsgroups during my
graduate year at Stanford as a start to get to know what they were like.
Finally, on October 31, 1993, two weeks after I started work, I went to Halloween
in the castro. I got my cousin Nat to drop me off and pick me up later. It was
a blast. I didn't really do much, but I got to see a lot of gay people doing
gay things (like seeing guys with guys - what a relief there were others like
me too!), and I acknowledged that they were not the horrible
stereotyped image that I had in my mind. I identified with them and decided
that, "Yes, I am gay."
My first year after coming out consisted of
discovering parties, clubs, dating and sex. I had a really good time. However,
I wanted something more - I wanted a relationship. I met Tim at The Box on September 22,
1994. We started seeing each
other and about two years later, we moved in together in Santa Cruz, when he started attending UC Santa Cruz. On May 16, 1998, shortly before graduation, he broke
up with me (after meeting someone else and stating that our relationship
was too much for him to handle). I learned a lot about having a relationship
during those years and more when I worked through breaking up with him. I don't
regret a moment of it (I'm not the type to regret anyhow)...
I moved to Santa Clara and started working out again (luckily, I kept my
membership at Fitness USA). I also started going back to the dance clubs (like
The Cafe, Club Universe and The Box) and socializing with both old and new
friends.
On September 4, 1998, I joined the gay matchmaking agency Bonds Limited. It specializes in finding
lifetime monogamous relationships for gay people. I began dating again both
through the agency and outside. On January 3, 1999, I went out on my first date with Gordon. We were matched through the matchmaking agency.
At first, I had a lot of issues with trust
and commitment (as a result of breaking up with Tim), but Gordon has always
been steady and supportive as I worked through things. Together, we have
developed a partnership based on mutual respect, responsibility, caring and
commitment.
After deciding to get a college degree and
start his undergrad as soon as possible, Gordon moved in with me on August 27, 1999. Now upon completing two years at De Anza College,
Gordon got accepted to UC Berkeley to complete his bachelor's degree, and has
just started school.
Things are going very well - in many ways better
than they were with Tim. I think that I took what I learned from my
relationship with Tim and have applied it constructively to this one. A lot of
credit also goes to the terrific guy Gordon is. I'm very happy with him. I
remain optimistic about working through life's situations and achieving one's
goals. As part of that, I've still got a streak of hopeless romanticism and
believe in our true
love...
On July 1, 2001, Gordon and I moved to Fremont. We chose Fremont because it is the southernmost stop on the BART
system (going to Berkeley or Berserkly
as we at Stanford called it) and is relatively central to the Bay Area. Our new
apartment is a great place, only one to two years old, with many features that
we haven't had before - our favorites being the A/C, washer/dryer, fitness
center and T-1 access.
At the end of a trip to China with our family (my dad, auntie
Rita, Brian, Brandon and Gordon), I learned that I was now unemployed. Metricom went Chapter 11 and had to shut down. So I did my
best to enjoy the time off and not stress too much about not having a job. The
time allowed me to work at figuring things out with
my life. I think I learned a lot in that time I had off and I have a much
better idea of what I want to do with my life now. I don't think I have all the
answers yet, but I definitely made progress.
In the middle of this time, on November 3, 2001, we got Bodhi
from Midsummer kennel.
Bodhi is a Tibetan Spaniel
or "Tibbie". We selected the Tibetan Spaniel by flipping through breed descriptions and looking
for one which had the characteristics we wanted. We first learned about the Tibbie while Gordon and I were in the Stanford Bookstore
and I opened a dog encyclopedia while waiting for him to finish looking at a
book. Bodhi is the first indoor dog we have raised and is quite a handful right
now. We are in the process of training each other on how to live together.
I recently started work at Sony Electronics
Inc.
February
1, 2002
Some goals:
- Take art and cooking classes (Gordon isn't really passionate about
art and food, and I'm trying to keep our diets low in fat, so I haven't
been into these as much lately)
- Get more involved in community service
- Continue learning new things
- Travel
I find lots of things interesting. Here are
a few highlights:
- Shopping (clothing, housewares, ...)
- Art (beautiful objects with souls)
- Reading (Sci-Fi/Fantasy)
- Vegetarian Cooking (all kinds - American, Chinese, French, Indian, Italian, ... - baking and deserts too!)
- East Asian Studies (mainly Chinese and Japanese philosophy and
culture)
- Martial Arts (Tai Chi primarily, but also Aikido, Karate and
Jujitsu)
- Buddhism (general - with an emphasis on Chan/Zen)
Here are some links that are acceptable to GeoCities' policies:
A couple favorite quotes:
"We need another and a wiser
and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. Remote from universal nature, and living by complicated artifice, man in
civilization surveys the creature through the glass of his knowledge and sees
thereby a feather magnified and the whole image in distortion. We patronize them
for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far
below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not
be measured by the man. In a world older and more complete than ours they move
finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or
never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren,
they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the
net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour
and travail of the earth."
- Henry Beston,
"The Outermost House"
"Come Dinosaur, we are not
welcome in the House of No Imagination."
- Phoebe, Friends "The One With The Dollhouse" Episode 320 by Wil
Calhoun
Before you leave, here is a "bye, bye" from some friends and from me.
August 4, 1998.
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