Hello, I'm Julie's partner, Fran. This page is dedicated to all GG spouses and partners of crossdressers� May we continue to learn and grow.
I remember the time, 2 years ago when Julie told me about her crossdressing. We were not living together then and our conversation took place over the phone. Now, I know what your thinking, Julie was too chicken to tell me in person. Well, that wasn't the case at all. Ever since we got together Julie would tell me about certain outfits she had, shoes that she liked, and even about a wig she owned. When "confession" time came, about a month before we moved in together, it came as no surprise. Did I have a lot of questions for her? You bet. I was somewhat familiar with the crossdressing lifestyle since over the years I've had a few friends who enjoyed dressing in drag. Their tastes, however, leaned toward the opulent, the extravagant, and the overexagerated� pure entertainment, I would call it. But Julie helped me see crossdressing through her eyes, and I found that the images I had entertained in my mind were a tad skewed. Crossdressing is not about rubber hot-pants, zebra-print halter tops, and six-inch-heel, thigh-high boots (unless of course, you like that kind of thing!). On the surface, crossdressing is about elegance and good taste. Deep down, it's about having a strong sense of self; it's about freedom and whatever that means to you.
Now, let's get down to the bottom line. Was I upset when Julie informed me of her crossdressing? First of all, it didn't upset me because as I've mentioned, Julie had casually talked about how she thought men's clothing was so "ho-hum" and women's clothing was so fun. Second, I really didn't give it that much thought immediately after she told me. My initial response went something like "Oh yeah? Hmm�" But even after the reality of her revelation had set in, I still didn't feel like the world had come down on me.
My first question was what I think would be the obvious in situations like these: "Are you gay?" In my heart I knew he wasn't, but I wanted to hear it from him. When he said "no" I didn't sigh in relief or thank the heavens. After all, I already knew what his answer would be. I was simply looking for reaffirmation. My second question had to do with my concern about her dressing in public. I've never been one to worry much about "what the neighbors may think." But in all honesty, I was now concerned about what people may think or say, but not because of me, however. I could really care less if people make judgment calls on my character because I'm holding hands with a guy who is carrying a purse. My concern centered on the fact that society can be cruel and I didn't want Julie to be hurt by some close-minded person's insensitivity. Communication was key at this time, and we both agreed that we would be sensitive to each other's needs.
After all my initial questions were answered, I was able to revel in the fact that I was living not only with the man I loved, but with a person who is truly, 100% my best friend. As teenagers, how many of us make plans to live with our best girlfriends when we move away from home? I know I did. And when the time came for each of us to get married we still planned on living next-door to each other with our respective husbands. Well, in Julie I have all of it rolled into one. We can talk about anything, from the running of the household, to what shade of lipstick would be most flattering. It really is the best of both worlds, and to say that I consider myself fortunate� well, that would be an understatement.
These links offer further insight that I found very informative and helpful in understanding Crossdressing.
Myths and Misconceptions about Crossdressers
Reasons for Male to Female Crossdressing
Partners: Spouses and Significant Others