The Quote Book

This is my quote book. It will soon have humorous, interesting, and even insightful quotes. If anyone out there would like to send me a quote, please do! My email address is [email protected]. Please write in the subject line whether it is a Bumper Sticker Slogan quote, a serious quote, or a wildly funny quote. Also, I have now added a joke page, so any good jokes would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Right now I have four sections. You can jump to any one.

Buttons and Bumper Stickers
Serious Quotes
Quotes From Songs
My Other Quotes

Buttons and Bumper Stickers

TGIF-- Thank God I'm Female!
Sorry I missed church, I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian!
W.W.X.D.-- What Would Xena Do?
One recruit short of a toaster oven. (If you don't get that one, don't try to.)
Gay by nature, Proud by choice.
I know I'm not perfect, but I'm so close it's scary!
I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Normal people worry me.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
I still miss my ex... but my aim is getting better!
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. (Sorry, men!)
Friends don't let friends vote Republican. (Sorry, Republicans!)
Let Gays Marry! They should suffer as much as we do. (Sorry, gays!) (Man, I'm going to piss off everyone today...)
Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off.
Have you hugged a lesbian today?
California is like granola--take out the fruits and nuts, and all you have left are the flakes.
I don't need your attitude. I have my own.
(Green button) This button automatically becomes green when being read by someone very stupid.
God loves fools. Otherwise why would she have made so many?
One nuclear bomb can totally ruin your day.
I'm being paid to talk to you.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
If something goes without saying, LET IT!
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
This would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone. -John 8:7
Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.-Walter Weckler
A woman is like a teabag - you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is a story, and we are the plots. Regardless of how short or how long, all that matters is the content. So fill it well, make it as interesting as you can, for who wants to read a dull book? -Lizzie
I know I'm an acquired taste, I'm anchovies and not everyone want those hairy little things. If I were potato chips I could go more places. -Tori Amos
And you, are you so forgetful of your past, is there no echo in your soul for your poets' songs, your dreamers' dreams and your rebels' call? -Emma Goldman
We choose to live in our dreams, for only in our dreams are we truly free. -Mr. Keating (Robin Williams)
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection. -Anias Nin
We accept the reality of the world which we are given. -The Truman Show
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. -Martin Luther King Jr.
Do not go gentle into that deep night, rage rage RAGE against the dying of the light! -Dylan Thomas
An eye for an eye and soon the whole world is blind. -Ghandi
Straight but not narrow! (One of Julia�s buttons.)
The reasonable man attempts to adapt himself to the world, The Unreasonable man attempts to adapt the world to himself, Therefore all progress depends on the Unreasonable man.
Fate, it seems, is not without a touch of Irony. - The Matrix
He who loves must live, he who cannot love must die, he who obstructs love must die twice. - ancient inscription on a wall in the catacombs under Rome

Quotes From Songs

I put in lots of Ani DiFranco quotes today cuz I love Ani SOOOO much!!!!!!!
And you were/ never a good lay/ and you were/ never a good friend/ but oh oh, oh what can I say/ I adore you -Ani DIFranco, Gravel"
"Willing To Fight" is one of the best songs I've ever listened to. I was going to put up a few lines, but the whole thing is just too good!!! Click here for the lyrics. I don't like your girlfriend, yeah I don't like her/ Never seen one of your lovers do you so much harm/ I loved you first and you know I would prefer/ If she didn't empty her syringes into your arm -Ani DiFranco, "Two Little Girls"
Here comes little naked me riding up to the bathroom door/ To find little naked you slumped on the bathroom floor/ So i guess i'll just sand here with my back against the wall/ You distilled your whole life down to a 911 call -Ani DiFranco, "Two Little Girls"
Cuz i don't care if they eat me alive/ I've got better things to do than survive -Ani DiFranco, "Swan Dive"
What bothers me is that you believe what you're saying. What bothers me is that you don't know how you feel. What scares me is that while you're telling me stories, you actually believe that they are real. -Ani DiFranco, "As Is"
You gave me an evening I'll never forget.../ No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I try. -Ani DiFranco, "Asked You First"
Let's Do The Time Warp Again!!!-The Rocky Horror Picture Show
-I'm just a sweet transvestite
-From Transexual, Transylvania -Frank (RHPS)
And in the streets the children screamed, the lovers cried, and the poets dreamed -Don McCline
Years go by, will I choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left? -Tori Amos
What if God was one of us? -Joan Osborne
-You may say I'm a dreamer
-But I'm not the only one
-Maybe someday you'll join us
-And the world will live as one -John Lennon (Imagine--click here for full lyrics.)

My Other Quotes

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. "Hello, can't work today. Still queer." -Robin Tyler
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -Douglas Adams
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -Douglas Adams
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. -Douglas Adams
If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandonded this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. -Douglas Adams
Sure, a woman can fake an orgasm, but it takes a man to fake a whole relationship. -Unknown
In college I experimented with heterosexuality. I slept with a straight guy. I was really drunk. -Bob Smith
My life is now incomplete on a whole new level! -Kevin Solomon
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
No trees were harmed in the making of this book, However, some died in their sleep and donated their bodies to literature. Air Farce
No ma'am, we at the F.B.I. do not have a sense of humor we are aware of. M.I.B.
Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. And tomorrow I will be sober. Winston Churchill
What a lovely fire. Kinda makes me wish we had a fireplace there. Garfield
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
Before you get angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away and have their shoes. Source unknown
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. -Dwight D. Eisenhower
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don�t even invite me. -Dave Barry
I love these next two!!!
Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. -Popular Mechanics, 1949
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. -Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. -Clarence Darrow
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it. -A Texas congressional candidate (Gotta love those politicians!)
The Internet is a great way to get on the net. -Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole (Ah, more politicians...sometimes I think they were made solely for my amusement...)
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, the pessimist fears it�s true. -James Branch Cabell
Even Margaret Thatcher wants to feel like a sex object everyonce and a while. -Lizzie
Any three sharp lawyers know at all times which three of them are lying. -Unknown
Everyone contributes to society--some by serving as horrible examples. -Unknown
For TV addicts, death may cause minor personality changes. -Unknown
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. -Inigo Montoya
I�d rather eat a pizza than a pile or rocks. -Daddy
I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific. - Unknown
Sanity statistics say that one out of every four people is crazy. Check three friends. If they're ok, it's you. - Rita May Brown
If you fall off a mountain you might as well try to fly, you've got nothing to lose... - from the TV series Babylon 5
If the world we live in makes us crazy, since treatment is nearly impossible, why torture ourselves all our lives trying to be normal and not enjoy being crazy. - someone named Robert...I don't know his last name....

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