From Alpha Bits; October 1995

BEING YOURSELF IS NOT A CONCEPT, IT'S WHAT LIFE'S ALL ABOUT

I believe that learning who you really are and living that joy is why we are all here. This is not only our right - human beings It is our purpose.

I am so very fortunate to be surrounded by people that support me and respect me as Janyne. Most of my friends view me as a woman. They look at me as feminine, and know my joy in that. The past couple of weeks have been lessons for me in that and have helped me to remember who I am.

I spent a Saturday working on a project with a friend of mine. She knows and enjoys both the company of Janyne and Jim. Saturday was a "Jim" day, it was fun and we accomplished quite a bit. Sunday was a "Janyne" day. At church that morning I was dancing around the patio singing and chatting with the ladies. My friend commented that I was just "glowing". Another lady said I was acting just like a "bride". This past week I spent a couple of hours talking with my minister about a few personal issues. At a point in our conversation she said "Janyne you have no Idea what a contribution you have made to our church". Indeed I hadn't a clue and said so. She told me that on several occasions people had told her what a "delight" Janyne was and what a "joy" it was to have her around. Well now, all that makes me feel good, but the reason for telling it all to you is to point out the adjectives used to describe me. Glowing, bride, delight, and joy, all feminine expressions used to describe a feminine person.

When we have gotten past the old ideas we harbor about our feminine persona the joy and delight just bubbles over and others can't help but fall in love with it. The joy of being Janyne shows. It's clearly obvious to anyone who takes the time to look, that this expression is correct for me. I didn't just fall into this gender bliss, it took work and a determination to freely express my self as the being I truly am.

All human beings deserve full expression of self, and it's there for us, all we have to do is take it. Oh yeah, just like that you say, well it's not that easy, but it's not that hard either. First you give yourself permission to be. That sounds easy but it's the hardest step in the process. What I did was find reinforcement for my Ideas. I found it in books, spiritual writings, metaphysics and a great therapist. I just don't mess with the ideas that put me down as a person, they have no place in my life. With that comes self respect, a pride in knowing you have done the one thing that you have always wanted to do. The old saying "your as sick as you are secret" was true for me, after you come clean with your self the rest gets real easy.


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