Probably the most important issue addressed was the "selfishness of crossdressers". This feeling was presented both as a statement! and a question?. One of the crossdressers addressed this issue basically as follows.

Is the crossdresser that you are thinking about selfish across the entire spectrum of life or are you perhaps looking only at the area of crossdressing activity and then generalizing to his complete persona?

Crossdressers had to deny and repress their need to crossdress all of their lives. The older they were when they could keep it a secret no longer, the longer was the period of repression. During this time many of them were taking care of many others at home, at work and in their community. From their point of view, they were giving to everyone else and not getting any of what they really wanted in return.

When they bit the bullet and let their needs be known, it was like walking into a whole new world. They were the proverbial "kid in a candy store" only they were the little girl in a female's department store. Just like a little child, they want everything RIGHT NOW. They have so much to try and so much to learn. Years worth of longing and frustration are suddenly released. Yes! they are very selfish ABOUT THEIR DRESSING ACTIVITIES but they feel that they have a right to be.

Are they selfish outside of their dressing activities? Do they provide house, food, clothing, and companionship? Do they help around the house or just like a bubba red-neck, come home and start making demands. There will be some crossdressers in every category. Why shouldn't we expect crossdressers to reflect the distribution of attitudes that we see in the general population?

I know of crossdressers, however, who VOLUNTARILY do laundry, ironing, cleaning, and other household chores. In some cases the crossdresser doesn't get credit for these activities because he is dressed while doing them. In other cases he doesn't get credit because "he is supposed to help anyway!"

Look at ALL of his attributes which attracted you to him in the first place. Were his compassion, caring, sharing, and tenderness important? Has the value of these traits changed since you learned that he was a CROSSDRESSER and these traits were part of his FEMININE presentation? If he was a selfish, demanding bubba in pants, why do you think he wouldn't be selfish and demanding in panties?

Both of you have much to gain if you can look at the WHOLE RANGE OF PERSONALITY TRAITS and deal with the entire person. According to many couples who have long term relationships with Gender Enhanced Males (GEMs), you can experience a relationship far more meaningful than you had ever thought possible.