| DISCLAIMER: I just wrote this for fun and for the simple reason that I have yet to see a Kodocha fanfic on the net, even though I've searched high and low for one. Come on people get moving! There's a lot of stuff that can be done to the story line, why not take advantage of it? Ok, well, here in Italy there are several differences in the show from what I read on the net. For one thing, Sana is not as dumb! Sure, she's a bit ditsy at times, but she still has some grey stuff between her ears and she even bothers to use it, for the most part she's just naive and funny. For another thing, the vocabulary is very clean (so there's absolutely no cussing in it, not even little words like damn). And third, all the names are different, so if I slip up every once in a while and use their Italian aliases (which, strangely enough are English names) go check out our who's who? page to find out who I'm talking about. Alright, if you've read a fanfic before you know the drill, the characters don't belong to me, I just borrowed them for a little while and I'll return them soon...well, maybe not Hayama...or Naozumi... WARNING: "What she puts a disclaimer and then a warning too?" Yeah, so what? I'm a bit nutty that way. This could be a spoiler for those who have not gotten to the New York episodes yet. Plus, I just saw the episode of the opening night on Broadway yesterday, so I don't know what's going to happen next and I'm taking liberties with the story line (don't all fanfic writers do that?). And also, this might not make much sense for you because...well, my thoughts don't always coincide and my stories only make sense to me. O_o' Yes! I already pointed out I'm weird! Anyway, as most people have noticed, the show has been getting much more serious lately, so there won't be much bullet speed talking on Sana's part...or anyone else's. And last but not least: I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC! There's bound to be lots of heart-to-heart talks, declarations of love, and lots and lots and lots of WAFFy moments (that's Warm And Fuzzy Feeling, if you didn't know). And another thing: I wrote this from Hayama's point of view, so it's in first person format. I might do someone else's point of view if I get a good response on this one (hint hint). And now...on with the fanfic! Opening night on Broadway, at the Hayama residence. "Hey, Akito, come and see this!" Why does my sister have to yell so loud? And what is she so excited about anyway? "Yeah, what is it?" I ask her, not really caring. "Listen to this!" She says all happy and stuff. What does she have to be so happy about? Anyway, she goes over to the TV and raises the volume. It was some show that talked about American TV and Broadway and all that stuff. Wait a minute! Broadway? (Note from author: I said I'm taking a lot of liberties with this so don't be surprised if I make up some show, or allow something to happen that wouldn't ever be allowed, k?) "I don't feel like it," and I try to get away, but she grabs me, makes me sit next to her on the couch, and doesn't let me get up. "You're not getting away! Come on! Believe me! This will interest you!" she says as if she's hiding some great secret. As if I don't know that they'll talk about...Her. Don't think about it Hayama, you're with Fuuka now. Whatever, just listen to this, and go back to your room to think about Fuuka. "Today is the opening of the musical "Endless Summer" on Broadway! The scoop on this is that Gary Hamilton, the famous producer, cast two very young Japanese to be part of the show! Sana Kurata and Naozumi Kamura. We have here Gary Hamilton to discuss his decision." says the annoyingly chipper female announcer. Then they show this American guy, he's probably as old as my father, this Hamilton guy. And the annoying woman starts talking again. "So Mr. Hamilton, why take such a gamble with these young foreign talents?" And the guy looks like he's thinking about what to say. "Sana and Naozumi are both very talented stars. I don't think that casting them was a gamble, but more of a reassuring that this musical would be a great success. They've both worked very hard and have had to surpass incredible difficulties to arrive to the point at which they're at. Watching them, even the spectators who don't know anything about musicals will see what talent these two have," he says, and the annoying woman looks skeptic... because she doesn't know what She's capable of. "Well, we'll soon see what Mr. Hamilton is talking about, for he has allowed us to show you, the viewers, part of the musical, but only the part in which Sana and Naozumi appear! Why just this bit?" the lady asks again, and looks like the Hamilton guy is getting really annoyed with her tone, too. "Well, usually I don't allow anyone to see any part of my musicals, I expect them to come and see them for themselves if they're interested, but these two kids have to be shown to the world. I say you should all keep an eye on them, because, no doubt, you'll see them again soon," he sounds so sure of himself, but I can't help thinking how much he resembles that Naozumi guy. Maybe... "That's all the time that Mr. Hamilton can offer us! He has to take his place in the theatre before the musical actually starts! The part of 'Endless Summer' that will be shown to us will start in about thirty minutes, and while we wait for that we'd like to talk about a few rumours that have been going around about Mr. Hamilton and these two children that he has cast. Mr. Hamilton will be back after the end of the show to tell us if these rumours are based on truth or not!" I don't think I can suffer this lady for much longer. "First up: they say that the pretty Sana and the handsome Naozumi are quite the couple! In Japan, their pictures have been published for months showing them as an item, but they've always denied to this saying that they were just good friends and that they admired each others' talents. But recently, after the opening of a movie that the two had both starred in, Naozumi announced that Sana had turned him down because she was in love with someone else, and he released no information as to who the boy was. Sana has not answered any questions on the subject, but is it the truth? Are they an item? Or has Sana really turned the cute Naozumi down for someone else? Stay tuned and we might find out, when Gary Hamilton will make his return to our set! And now onto commercials." I suddenly have the urge to kick some inanimate object, but if I do, my sister will throw a fit. I'm so mad, I almost don't realize that I'm clenching my fist so tight to draw blood. How dare she discuss something of which she wasn't even sure of herself? And did she have to remind me about what Naozumi did to us? But I can't stay mad for long. She's on TV again, in one of her many commercials. This is one in which She talks about some facial cream or something like that. But who cares about the cream? She's smiling so brightly, like She always does, and there's such a close up of Her face...oh, hell! Now I remember why I stopped watching TV after She left! But in the end, what point was there? Even yesterday, when Fuuka tried to kiss me, I didn't see her face, but...Hers. Why can't I even think Her name anymore? It hurts, really. Watching Her in all her success, always happy...and without me. She probably forgot me and got with Naozumi for real. Damn it! This shouldn't bother me as much! Oh, great! The annoying woman's back, too, now! "Now, have you thought about the relationship between Sana and Naozumi during our commercial break? Well, here's something else to think about! Another rumour is that Naozumi Kamura is in truth, Gary Hamilton's son!" That's what I thought. Why else would a guy go and get a Japanese kid for a musical? There had to be another reason for it besides talent. After all America's a big country. There's bound to be some talented kids there too. Man! Doesn't this woman ever shut up! If she'd talk at...Her speed she'd be done by now and I wouldn't have to listen to her because my sister wants me to. Half an hour has almost passed...God, do I want to get out of here! Maybe if I sneak out... "The cameramen in the orchestra tell us that Sana and Naozumi have taken their place on stage and are about to make their Broadway debut. Let's see," she says as the picture on TV changes for the annoying woman's face to a dark stage. My sister has grabbed my hand so I can't make a dash for it. I feel like my face might crack into an expression. I don't want to watch this, put the annoying woman back on! And the stage lights are on...and I can see Her. She's wearing this overall outfit and weird baseball cap with things that look like jawbreakers on it. She looks the same as She did the last time I saw Her...when I held Her...but at the same time She's changed. She looks more mature, older, grown up, even though She plays a little kid. Now She's ripped off her overalls and She's wearing this really weird outfit and She's dancing. It's strange how looking at Her like this...even with those ridiculous clown overalls, and the blue wig on, it still grips at my heart. My heart, even when I thought I didn't have one. I tried to forget Her, but all I could do was not think about Her. But now, I'm doing that too. My sister has this pleasantly surprised look on her face, like if she didn't know She'd be so good. But I knew. I always knew. I even told Her once that at times...I thought She was too good. But now the dance is over, and the annoying woman's back on, and I can leave. "I'm going out to train!" and I do. I train not to think. I train not to think about Her. (Author's note: What you think it's over? Nu-huh, buddy, you don't get out of it this easily! This was just the angsty part. Well, it's Hayama's point of view here, so it has to be angsty, ok? Anywho, now come the heart-to-heart talks, the OOCness worse than before, and eventually the WAFFy moments ^_^ Enjoy!) Again at the Hayama residence at dinner. "Akito, I brought you some sushi!" Thanks dad, I needed it. I don't know if they noticed, or if they know why, but lately, I haven't been the same. Ever since I say Her dancing I couldn't get Her face out of my mind, and I can't sleep, and that's what made them notice. My face is always the same, but I can't hide the bags from under my eyes. I haven't even been able to sleep in class. Fuuka noticed, but she doesn't know the reason. She thinks I have the flu or something. I don't think that's the reason that she hasn't tried to kiss me since that day eight months ago. But the flu doesn't last eight months. That's how long ago the musical opened, and that's how long it's been running, and She still hasn't come back. It's better this way, but I'm beginning to see Her everywhere, and it would make no difference if She was here in body, or just in my head. "Oh, my God! Dad, look at this!" my sister says and shows dad the same magazine article that she'd been reading throughout dinner. It was probably something about HER! Now, all that my sister really gets that excited about is Her news. Probably because she was already expecting Her to be Her sister-in-law. If I think that it might have gone that way, I feel sick. In the end, She was right. I should have told Her. Even Tsuyoshi said that She could be a bit dense and that She has to be told something to realize it. But it was both our faults. "Here Akito, look at this." Dad hands me the magazine after reading the article himself. "I don't feel like it." "Alright, I'll read it!" My sister says as she gets the magazine from next to me and starts reading it. I don't want to listen but I can't help it. "Child superstar Sana Kurata and Naozumi Kamura are coming back to Japan after the great success of 'Endless Summer'. They've been cast for a new film, the title of which is not yet released, that will start taping sometime next year. But they will not be coming back alone. With them will be the entire Hamilton family, which was discovered also as Naozumi's family, since Gary Hamilton is his real father, and, with them, also another friend they have met while in New York. The young stars mean to celebrate their return together and in good company. The Hamilton's and Naozumi have released the information that they will not stay in a hotel as expected, but as guests at the Kurata household. The reason, they say, is that they have come to think of Sana as a part of their family also, and she invited them to stay with her and such. But is this just an excuse on Sana's part to stay close to Naozumi? It has never been confirmed on the truth of them being a couple, but at the same time, it has never been proved that they weren't. They will all come back on a private plane Tuesday, of this week, at the main aeroport, at 10:00 am, blah, blah, blah" she finishes and puts down the magazine and looks at me as if she's expecting something. I just shrug and she makes and indignant humph. "Akito?" says my father. "You do know that Tuesday is tomorrow, right?" That hit me like a knife in the gut. I had thought only minutes earlier that it wouldn't make a difference if She was here or not, but now...it does. But I wont' see Her. I shouldn't. But...even though I feel I have to. I can't. Next day after school. "Hey, Akito, have you heard! Sana is coming back! She's finally coming back like she promised!" Thanks Tsuyoshi, spill salt on the open wound, why don't you? But my non-expression doesn't slip. "And so?" he looks like if he didn't expect that reaction, which is weird. I react like that to everything. "Um...yeah...well...me, Aya, and Fuuka were going to go to the airport and see her...are you going to come?" he's hoping I'll say yes. "No." And I leave. To go train. And to forget. In the streets of town that night. I'm running. I want to kick something, but sensei taught me to keep control, so I run. I don't care where I go, I just run. Not jog, like I used to. I don't jog anymore. That's not as difficult, and it doesn't clear my mind as much. So I run without a destination. Why have I stopped? I should keep running. But I can't move. I somehow managed to run all the way to Her front gate, and no further. I'll go. I'll go...right after I get a look at Her. The door's opening. I hide in the shadows so as to see who it is, but also as to not be seen. Good thing that this street is not well lighted. The only light is streaming through the windows of Her house. The first person to come out is Tsuyoshi, and then Aya, and Fuuka, and Hanae. They say they're goodbyes and leave, talking about the strange New Yorkers in the house. They go in the opposite direction, and don't see me hiding there. But the door doesn't close behind them. One more person comes in the garden and stays within it. It's Her. It's...my Sana. I'm finally able to say Her name...even if just in thought. She's just looking up the sky, and she looks happy to be back. She looks so calm, and peaceful...so different from what she shows herself to be to everyone else. Now she's laying in the grass, just looking up, almost as if she's going to sleep there. She's so beautiful. "Sana, what are you doing?" comes a voice from the doorway. It's the pretty boy Naozumi. He's got this lovesick puppy look on his face, which makes it obvious that he's still pining for her...is she pining for him too, now? "Hey, Naozumi," she says to him, not turning to look at him. She's thinking about something, but I can't tell what. Now she sits up with this thoughtful look on her face. "Come here a second Naozumi," she orders him. "What is it?" he asks walking over to her and sitting next to her. Does he have to sit so close? "Naozumi can I take a look at your back?" she asks. Why does she want to look at his back? He looks pretty apprehensive about it. "I just want to see if the scar tissue healed," she reassures him. It's obvious that he really doesn't want to, but he lifts his shirt and turns his back on her. "So how's it look?" Naozumi asks. "Well, I can make out only a couple marks, but those will fade in time. The rest has already healed." she says absentmindedly, leaning against his shoulder. I think I'll break his nose in a few seconds. Look at how he's blushing! He's really enjoying this. But then...I think I would be too. "I can't believe it happened almost a year ago," the pretty boy finally says something. "So many things have happened since then, I didn't think you'd remember," and he blushes deeper. Remember what, exactly? "Oh, come on, Naozumi! I couldn't forget something like that! It's my fault you got burned when you tried to protect me from the flames," she replies. So he protected her. Now, I know I'll break his nose. I'm the one that's always protected her. Well, at least she slipped away from him, and put his shirt back on. I want to leave. It's obvious that she cares for him now and she forgot all about me, but I still can't move. "You two make such a cute couple!" says some guy that came out a bush. Sana jumps in surprise. Sana runs to him and smacks him on the head several times with her plastic hammer. From what I see he's blonde, light-eyed, and looks just like me! "Brad! I thought I told you to stop doing that!" she said pointing her index finger at him in her 'I'm pissed at you' way. "You know you're cute when you're mad." Now I feel like breaking his nose, too. Sana smacks him on the head again, but gets serious again a second later. She doesn't like him...does she? No, that can't be she's with Naozumi. "Why do you bother complimenting me, Brad?" He looks surprised. "I've known you since the day I came to New York, and ever since it's been obvious that you love Sicille, so why don't you compliment her? Why don't you tell her how you feel?" So she doesn't love him. That's good...I mean...it doesn't bother me. But he gets mad at her. "Who are you to tell me what to do? You don't have to worry about rejection! You've got Naozumi eating out of the palm of your hand! You don't know what it's like to fall asleep at night wondering if he's going to return your feelings or not! So shut up!" he yelled and made to go back in the house, but Sana stopped him. "Brad! I do know what it's like!" And at that he stopped, but didn't turn back to look at her. He froze in body like I did in heart at those words. "How can you?" he asked as he turned but didn't look. "I know because...I've... I've been rejected," hearing her say that stung my heart and twisted the knife in my gut even more. Tears are filling her eyes, and her shoulders are trembling, and I want to hold her, and tickle her and make her stop. I didn't know that what I did to her made her feel rejected, but thinking about it...that's what it was. I had rejected her. I, who have been haunted by her face and spirit ever since the monkey-boss days, had rejected her. "But...Naozumi..." asks that 'Brad' guy and looks over at the pretty boy. Naozumi just shakes his head sadly, and my heart felt a thousand times lighter. They weren't together. "Naozumi says he's in love with me, but he's my best friend. I think of him like a brother, not a boyfriend," she said to Brad. Then looked back at Naozumi who was turning red from the effort not to cry, and she spills tears for him. "I'm sorry, Naozumi." He just shakes his head and wipes madly at his tears. "So...you were rejected. How is that supposed to encourage me to tell Sicille my feelings?" the guy asks. This time finally noticing that she's crying. She takes a long deep breath before answering. "I was rejected, because I realized my feelings for him too late. By that time, he was already with Fuuka, and he was in love with her. He said I'd been stupid for not seeing it earlier. He confessed that he'd cared a lot for me. But he used the past tense. Cared. He didn't care for me anymore." She stopped talking for a second, and Brad looked really sad for her. "You see, Brad? I don't think that Sicille knows what her feelings are for you, just like I didn't realize my own until too late. If you tell her, maybe she'll realize she loves you back." she said wiping at her tears, as if now realizing that they'd run freely down her face. "And if she doesn't?" he looked really depressed at the prospect. "At least you'll know," Sana told him. It wasn't great consolation for him, but it made him think. And it made me think too. What if I'd looked at it that way? What if, instead of fearing rejection, I'd thought about it like that? Right now, I'd probably be next to Sana, instead of outside the gate looking in on her. And I almost made to go to her and hold her. But I stopped myself. She didn't see me, but in that second that I stepped into the light, Brad did, and he smiled as if understanding my thoughts. "When we met at the party...you called me Hayama, and almost cried. You said I looked just like him. Is that the guy?" he said, as if daring me to come forward. "Yeah. Naozumi had talked me into coming to New York to forget him, but when I saw you at the party...for a second I was happy. Every time I look at him, it's like I want to be close to him. But then I realize that he's happy with another and it's like having all the worlds weight on my shoulders. And that's what happened at the party. I realized that I left Japan to forget, but every day I'd see you and be reminded. You thought I was never rejected because too many things happened in New York for me to think about him, like the things you did when you tried to scare us away. My mind was just too busy to picture him," I wonder what things he did to scare them. "I think he's still in love with you, Sana," that pretty boy, Naozumi, said that, still in his position on the ground, and he looks ready to jump off a bridge. Sana said his name with such pity, that I feel sorry for the guy, even though I can't stand him, and even though he tried more than once to take her away from me. "If he wasn't in love with you, he'd have come to talk to you like the rest of your friends did." "I think the boy's right for once...anyway, he's with Fuuka now right?" The two nodded. "Fuuka's the one with the funny accent, right?" Again, they both nodded. "Did you notice how much that girl looks like you?" Sana nodded, not really getting what he was grappling at. "I think this Hayama is with Fuuka just because she reminds him of you. Sort of like a Sana replacement." "Even if that's true it doesn't matter. He's happy with the 'Sana replacement', and why shouldn't he be? She's perfect. And I'm just stupid," she said in an upset manner, raising her volume on each word in anger. "Stop torturing me, because that's all you're doing right now!" And she began sobbing, a sound that made me want to rip out my ears, it was so painful. "It's the truth Sana!" Naozumi added, even though he's on the verge of crying again. "STOP IT!" And with that she turns away from them and runs out in the street...and right into me. She's surprised to have bumped into anyone, and even though it's so dark, she still knows it's me. I should run again. I have to run, but my feet are planted to the pavement and I can't move my legs. She's blushing. Not just from the tears, but also because she's embarrassed that I heard all that. She's trying to move away from me, an she wants to keep running, but I can't let her. I should, but I can't, so I reach out and grab her wrist before she's out of range. "Let's go Naozumi, let's leave them alone," I hear Brad saying, and I hear that the pretty boy's crying now, but I pay no attention to them. Just her. Just Sana, who won't turn to look at me. It's just like that time outside of the school's nurse's office. The day after I heard Naozumi say that Sana had turned him down. She tried to escape me, but I caught her. Just like then, now she struggles to get free, but I pin her against the wall by her shoulders. I'm stronger than her, and she knows it. She won't look at me. She's shut her eyes, but the tears are still coming out and her lower lip is trembling. She's shaking all over. But...I'm shaking too. "Sana..." I said her name. She's surprised that I did, and even more surprised that it came out so softly...like a lover's caress, my sister would say. And she'd be right, because that's what I wanted it to be like for her. She finally opened her eyes. Her big brown eyes that mirror mine so perfectly, are staring up at me with such emotion...I tried to stop myself, but I'm holding her. I'm holding her just like that day that she waited for me outside my house after Karate practice. This time, though, she's holding on to me too. Crying into my shoulder and hanging on for support, and, despite the pain that her tears are ripping my heart in two, nothing has ever felt as good. "Hayama..." she says my name with so many tears. Tears that she's cried for me. "You're the only person that's ever cried for me, Sana," I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, or what she took it as, but still, they are for me, those tears of hers. But now she's pulling away from me. She looks angry, and at me. "Stop making fun of me," she says, looking straight at me. Thinking that this is some kind of joke I came to play on her. She tries to struggle free of my hold, but I still keep her pinned by the shoulders. "I'm not," I try to convince her. "Yes, you are! You're with Fuuka, you're in love with her, so stop trying to make me think you aren't, you said yourself: you cared for me. Well, now that's passed, so stop playing with my feelings!" she says, sobbing all the more. Her head's bent down and turned to the side so I won't see it, but the tears are gathering on her chin, and falling onto my hand that's on her shoulder. "Why do you cry for me, Sana?... The truth... why do you?" I had to ask. It's wrong, but I don't think I'll be able to move away from this spot until she answers. She's stopped struggling, and she's trembling like a small wounded animal under the rain without any protection from it. "Because..." Oh, please, Sana, tell me! "Because I care...still...I care for you." My heart soared that very moment and did a couple back flips. I'm trying to settle it down, but it's too happy. "Now, Akito..." my heart almost stopped right there, after hearing her say my name in such a familiar manner, but started up its antics again, and this time worse than before, "it's you who has to tell me the truth. Why were you at the airport when I left, why are you here now, and why won't you let me go?" I answered her without thinking, and without hesitation. It's like all my worries about rejection, and pride had all taken a vacation. "Because I cared, I still care, and the last time I let you go you left me and I don't want that to happen without knowing that I can hold you again," now I can't believe I said it. She can't either apparently. I've never been a romantic guy, I don't write poetry, and I don't allow my feelings to show. But I did this time. And I think she can see it in my face. I probably have a destroyed, lovesick, puppy dog look on my face. An expression that I never planned to show to the world, like the rest of them. But I can't help it. She believes me...but she's still afraid. "What about Fuuka?" She asks. It's almost like she's afraid that I'll say I love Fuuka more and leave her. But I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. "I don't want to hurt her...but I'll have to. She's a good girl and she deserves better, but I can't give you up again," and that's the whole truth. Fuuka's been good to me. But I don't feel anywhere near this strongly for her. "Akito..." and again she says my name like that. So softly and with her lip trembling. It's like an open invitation. So I draw closer to her...almost as if I can't control my body from doing so, and when we're barely half an inch away I stop myself. I look at her, in her deep golden brown eyes, so much like my own, and this time, she closes her eyes and kisses me. It's an intense feeling, to kiss her and have her kiss back. She's never kissed me back before. Her lips are so soft and she smells so good, I feel I could keep kissing her forever. But she breaks away and she leaves me earning for more. I can see she's sad about something by the way she's hanging on to the back of my shirt and by the fact that she's so downcast. "What's wrong?" I ask putting my forehead against hers and holding on to her tiny waist. "I don't think I should feel this happy when it's going to hurt Fuuka. She's my friend," my Sana. My wonderful, loving Sana. Always thinking about others before yourself. I can't help but kiss her forehead. "Don't worry. It's too late," that was Fuuka's voice! We both turn around to see her hiding in the shadows just like I was. How long has she been here? "Wha... Fuuka..." I hear Sana begin to say. "No, don't say anything. I knew he'd come back to you. You should have seen how he's been since you were gone. So I expected it, and got my heart ready for it. I just didn't expect for it to be this soon. Now if you'll excuse me, I just came back to get my jacket. I left it inside," she said and walked in the gate with wet eyes. Sana wants to go after her, I know, but I keep her from doing it. A few seconds later she walks out of the house with Naozumi as an escort, both of which are crying. It's understated that we were both surprised to see that, but now the damage has been done, and I couldn't be happier as I go back to kissing my Sana. I couldn't be happier. And I don't think Sana could either. FIN! AUTHOR'S RAMBLING: Ok, it made no sense, and the guys were all completely OOC, but come on! It was cute! You might be wondering why I had Naozumi and Fuuka and Brad all pop up at the most unwanted times, but... if you THINK about it: that's what Obana Miho-sama loves to do! She does it all the time. The reason why Fuuka and Naozumi weren�t that surprised or heartbroken (actually they were but since it�s Hayama�s point of view, and he�s just gotten back with the girl he loves so he doesn�t really feel like dwelling on it...would you?). And also, this piece was a bit angsty, but I repeat: this is Hayama's point of view, so it sort of had to be. If you want me to do a follow-up to this: CONTACT ME. If you want me to write a separate fic for the whole Fuuka-Naozumi thing: CONTACT ME. If you want to praise me: CONTACT ME. If you want to flame me: CONTACT ME, go ahead and I'll have a barbeque. In any case: CONTACT ME at [email protected]. Thank you: Pearl Drop Angel aka Roberta Jeanne Gallucci Ja Ne! |