Standard disclaimers apply. 


Heero sat at the edge of the bed, arms crossed.

A rustle of sheets.

Long, slender fingers wandered up his back, beseeching. The action was fruitless. Heero remained
unmoved.

The fingers slid down to his middle, lacing together around the front of his torso. The muscles did not relax or soften under the touch, but he allowed himself to be pulled down to the pillows.

" Heero, " Relena cooed softly into his ear, " Heero. "

Heero turned to face her, dark bangs mingling with long fine strands of golden brown.

A near inaudible answer: " Relena. " His voice was tender, intimate.

They kissed.

* * *

Duo half-woke to the kisses on his brow, his lips, his neck. He mumbled and frowned, feeling a prick of irritation at Heero's habit of rising so early. Right now, he wanted to sleep.

Defiantly, he remained still, refusing to open his eyes. The kisses ceased. He began to lose awareness again and felt himself drifting back into slumber. Maybe, he mused, half-dreaming, in a couple of hours...

He gasped at the sudden presence of a firm, insistent tongue at his left nipple. The last vestiges of grogginess disappeared quickly. Duo made a little sound of pleasure, opening his eyes and looking down at Heero. The Japanese boy raised his head briefly and gave him an utterly smug expression. Hands and mouth caressed downward.

It was inevitable, Duo reasoned, he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. So he let himself slip under the spell he had never truly been able to resist.

" Mmm... you and your damn missions... "

All the stars
may shine bright,
All the clouds
may be white,
But when you smile
Oh how I feel so good,
That I can hardly wait

* * *

Sighing, Duo curled around Heero. The two boys lay entangled, perfumed in a sharp musk of sex. Their flesh was slick but they were comfortable in each other's arms, content in their private little world.

There were times when Duo doubted that Heero belonged to him. There were times when he wondered whether Heero could belong to anybody at all. But these thoughts were mere ghosts of pains from long ago. He reminded himself that the boy in his arms was real. Duo knew parts of Heero that no one else knew; the places to kiss him that would make him shiver. He had placed marks on Heero's body with his mouth, claiming him. And high up on the insides of Duo's thighs, Heero had done the same.

Duo reveled in these moments of absolute possession; these precious moments in between missions when their bodies were instruments of passion instead of weapons of war. Each battle wrenched his heart a little, with the painful knowledge that both he and Heero might not make it through to the end. What made the pain all the more acute, he knew now, was that he was in love with him.

His fingers absently stroked the small of Heero's back, damp from sweat. The other hand came to rest upon Heero's chest. Duo closed his eyes and felt a strong, reassuring heartbeat beneath his palm.

Someday... he thought, someday we may lose even this.

To hold you,
Enfold you,
Never enough,
Render your heart to me.
All mine,
You have to be.

* * *

He heard the sounds Heero was making before he realized his hands were clawing into Heero's sides. But he had not really felt Duo's hands, it seemed.

Heero's head tossed violently in the throes of his nightmare, unruly brown hair gone even more wild. It chilled Duo to the bone to hear him moaning in such a way. The fragile illusion of peace dissolved with that awful sound.

Duo clutched at Heero's arms, in an attempt to calm him. They were stone beneath his hands. Leaning over him, Duo began to rub his stomach in gentle, soothing circles. Heero's body relaxed, by degrees, and he quieted. Duo lay down next to him again. He gazed into Heero's sleeping face and smiled.

He couldn't help but love him, really. Even now, Heero was irresistible. Duo inched closer until their noses touched. That small, finely-shaped mouth allured him.

The lips parted moist, beckoning him. This was the moment Duo cherished. It was the anticipation: the slight pause before they kissed that made the actual kiss all the sweeter.

His lips brushed Heero's, and Heero murmured a single word:

" Relena. "

Duo recoiled instantly. A feeling of utter betrayal struck him like a bolt. Frowning away tears, Duo slapped him hard across one beautiful cheekbone. His violet eyes darkened to a furious plum. He snatched the sheets viciously off of Heero, gathered them around himself, and strode angrily from the bedroom.

The dream he had a few nights ago came back to haunt him. Too clearly Duo heard the girl call his lover's name, saw her embrace Heero as he himself had done countless times. Most startling of all was that the dream-Heero had melted in the girl's arms. He had said her name in exactly the same way his Heero had moments ago.

" Relena. "

On the couch, Duo hugged his knees to his chest and stared out the window. He could sense Heero at the edge of the hallway leading from the bedroom, watching him. In his own way, he was silently calling him back to bed. He would stand there until Duo responded.

Duo knew that there would probably be a bruise where he had struck him, marring one cheek. He almost regretted doing it, but jealousy surged over him again, and he felt a certain dark satisfaction in his action. Duo was curious how it looked, although he didn't turn. Heero was nude, and Duo would look too long at those slim muscled lines, and become lost in them. He would begin to forgive Heero, which he was not ready to do.

From that cloud,
number nine,
Danger starts
the sharp incline
And such sad regrets,
Oh as those starry skies,
As they swiftly fall.

Is it the same? he thought, The way he looks at her and the way he looks at me... is it the same? 
She was truly a beautiful girl, he admitted to himself. Slim, curved, graceful... he had seen those things when he had attempted to rescue her on the dock that day. She had spoken with such authority when she put herself between his gun and Heero. It was bitterly amusing how ironic that turned out to be.

He loved Heero and he... disliked Relena.

Yes, despite the fact that she practically stalked Heero and barely even acknowledged Duo's existence, he didn't really hate her. Perhaps because he knew what it was like to fall -and fall hard- for Heero Yuy. She was more than a little naive, but Duo was finding it hard to keep his good humor about it. A schoolgirl's crush.

Does she love him?

Duo's stomach tightened. He rolled the thought around in his mind uneasily. With a sinking feeling, he began to feel out of place. The self-doubt he had usually managed to hide with a smile or a laugh played havoc with him now. Had it always been him, he wondered, between Relena and Heero? Oh, it was painful to think of. That strange self- assurance that she possessed, so different from himself: a skinny, loud-mouthed, slightly absent-minded boy he added almost
affectionately.

Looking up, Duo was startled to find Heero in close proximity, leaning against the arm of the couch. His eyes ran over every inch of Heero's slightly bronzed skin, wanting the comfort of having it against his own again. He resented bitterly the girl that was an obstacle to this.

" Duo. "

His eyes returned to Heero's face. He liked Heero's voice saying his name. Maybe for awhile he could pretend... she didn't exist. That it was just the two of them here, forever.

No, thought Duo, I want all of you.

Heero turned his head and Duo caught sight of the bruise on his cheekbone. Without a thought, he cupped Heero's face and kissed it.

" Gomen, " he whispered into Heero's ear.

Heero made a motion as if to embrace him.

" Do you love her? " Duo asked suddenly, cutting him short.

" Relena... do you love Relena? " he clarified after Heero's brow wrinkled in confusion.

Heero remained quiet for an uncomfortably long time.

" You said her name in your sleep. I want to know. " Duo's voice wavered, unsteady.

Still without answering, Heero sat down on the couch. Duo moved back, putting some distance between them. He clutched tightly at the sheets around his waist.

" I... don't dislike her. " Heero paused, again uncomfortable. This is it, thought Duo, I'm losing him, and he can't even admit it. God, we're both fools.

Heero turned to look out at the late morning sun.

" Perhaps in another life, I would have, " he said finally. He turned toward Duo again, reaching out and stroking his thumb across the rounded cheek. " ...One where you didn't exist. "

It was all he needed. Heero didn't need to say, " I love you "; it was enough for Duo to know that this was what he meant. A most extraordinary sense of relief flooded him. Duo closed his eyes and leaned into Heero's caress. He wanted Heero's hands on his body more than anything. His grip on the sheet loosened, and it slithered to the ground. Then Heero was touching him everywhere; tantalizing brushes of his fingers, making Duo's mind swirl, intoxicated with desire. His mouth found Heero's and he kissed him roughly.

She couldn't love him like this, Duo realized. There was something so right in these emotions, something intangible that she could never replicate. The two of them, here like this, was how it should be.  

Make no mistake,
You shan't escape,
Tethered and tied,
There's nowhere to hide from me.
All mine,
You have to be.

* * *

Duo was the one to wake first the next morning, at dawn. For a while, he lay placid, just resting with his face against Heero's throat. His leg was thrown over Heero's thighs, and he could feel him breathing softly beneath him. No nightmares for either of them, it seemed.

He withdrew from the tangle of warmth and sat up in the bed. Heero was beautiful when he slept; a rare and beloved sight to Duo. To think that he almost let this go... a tremor ran up his spine.

He knew in some way, shape, or form Heero did care for Relena. Those feelings baffled even Heero himself, although he would never admit to it. Somewhere deep down she had won a piece of him; the tiniest bit of him that through whatever bloodshed, was still a boy. His innocence.

That's not all of him. He's not that simple. Do you know that, Relena-sama? His eyes sparkled possessively. You can't have him.

And with a smile that was rather unlike Duo, a mixture of the usual cheerfulness with a peculiar serious intensity, he embraced Heero's sleeping form.

"Heero... omae wa ore no mono da. "

So don't resist,
We shall exist
Until the day,
Until the day, I die.
All mine,
You have to be.


© 1999 figbash

lyrics to "All Mine" © Portishead

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