Eeep! Hiyas! This is my
very first songfic ever, and I don't think it's as good as my other stuff; but I
heard this song and it was soooo perfect for Heero, I just had to write it!! If
anybody out there can write it better, please do, I'd like to read it!!
The song is "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who. I can send a copy of the
lyrics if anyone wants them; I think I left out one repetition of the chorus.
Thanks!!!!
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Kay? *giggle*
song by The Who
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
Cobalt blue eyes swept slowly over the room, watching the other pilots as they
sat around talking, relaxing, and being happy with the only friends they had in
their war-torn world. Quatre snuggled in Trowa's arms, laughing as Duo made
outrageous gestures while recounting his last battle in Shinigami. Trowa's eyes
were slightly softer than usual, as he tightened his arms around the slender
blond. Wufei was smirking, the closest he would get to a smile. Heero turned
away, staring impassively out the window, watching the rain fall.
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
Cobalt blue eyes narrowed slightly as the students outside their window talked
loudly about the "rebel scum" and the "Gundam trash" that
were threatening their lives and prolonging the war, even after the colonies
themselves had turned their backs on them. Duo was scowling slightly, his jaw
clenched to keep from making angry retorts. Heero glanced at him for a moment,
then turned back to his laptop, adjusting their enrollment status and preparing
a new set of lies to get them into an OZ-controlled school unnoticed.
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
Cobalt blue eyes warmed slightly as their owner's lips turned up in a smile,
relaxing in a field of rich green grass, warmed by the sun overhead. In the
silence he could hear birds singing, children laughing-- moments of pure joy,
unshadowed by war and fear. He took in a deep breath of sun-scented air, and
smiled. Beside him Duo was curled, creating a line of warmth against his side
and in his heart, comforting him. He sighed softly, perfectly content for that
single moment. Then the alarm clock rang, breaking the silent spell, heralding
another day of war. His eyes hardened as he slid out of bed, his cold mask in
place once more.
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
Cobalt blue eyes closed in pain as Duo left again, finally giving up on trying
to persuade Heero to join him for some recreational activities. Heero sighed,
wanting so much to call Duo back, to be with him, to tell him what he felt-- but
it was impossible. There was nothing he could offer the violet-eyed angel that
had just walked away but anger and pain. That was all he had left, now; his
training and the war had removed anything else inside him, any trace of humanity
or warmth. All that was left was an empty shell with blazing cobalt eyes that
reflected nothing.
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
Cobalt blue eyes remained shut, feigning sleep as Duo slid into the small hotel
bed. They were en route between missions, and forced to share accommodations.
Having Duo's warmth so close was torture. His body was almost trembling, except
a lifetime of training would not permit it to betray him that way. He remained
completely still, listening, until Duo's breathing evened out into the rhythm of
sleep. Finally he turned, propping himself up on one elbow to stare down at his
sleeping partner. His eyes hungrily devoured the beautiful face, the long
waterfall of chestnut hair that spread over the pillow. How was it possible? How
could he make Heero feel so much? It wasn't right. It was a distraction. But he
couldn't stop the hunger. It was Duo's fault, somehow-- somehow he had slipped
inside the hard shell Heero had created, the wall that kept out the world. Damn
him. Heero slowly leaned over, brushing a feather-light kiss over Duo's brow.
The boy sighed in his sleep, smiling. Heero turned away, and closed his eyes.
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
Cobalt blue eyes remained unwavering as Duo ranted at him, pleaded with him,
trying to receive some sort of response. "I know you're human in there,
Heero. You can't just hold everything in like this, man! You've got to open up
to other people... to me.... I want to help you, Heero. Please, let me in....
let me in...." The violet eyes were liquid, as Duo reached out to entreat
him, slender fingers gripping his shoulders.
Heero remained unmoving, feeling himself dying inside, wishing he could reach
out, wishing he could bury himself in Duo's arms and tell him everything he was
feeling, see if he could take away the pain.... but he said nothing.
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
Cobalt blue eyes blazed with fury as he slammed his fist into the wall, growling
deep in his throat. The mission was a failure... faulty intel, and it had cost
innocent lives. Lives he'd never wanted to put in danger. It was his fault, for
not checking more thoroughly. Duo walked up behind him, slowly, making enough
noise that it was clear he was approaching.
"Heero..." his throaty voice was low, soothing. Heero turned slowly,
fists clenched, restraining himself from lashing out to release the tension, the
anger. Duo's cool fingers slowly encircled his fist, gently taking both Heero's
hands in his, twining their fingers. His eyes flew up to meet Duo's, the anger
slowly melting away. "Heero..." Duo whispered again, his voice
reflecting the same guilt and sadness that Heero felt inside.
Slowly, Duo brought Heero's hand up to his cheek, nuzzling it gently. A single
tear fell down Duo's cheek, and slowly he reached up to wipe it away, his hand
trembling. Their lips met hesitantly, brushing lightly, and he could feel Duo's
breath warm against his lips. Slowly they sank back onto the bed, the pain and
sorrow melting away under the warmth of each other, if only for a moment.
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
Cobalt blue eyes slid half-shut, glazed by fever, even as he shivered with cold.
Vaguely he felt Duo wrapping another blanket around his shoulders. He was so
tired, couldn't think straight. Remaining in cold, damp OZ cells between
beatings and interrogation was hard on one's health, Duo had jokingly noted. But
for now there were no jokes; Duo simply fed him some warm broth, lightly
brushing his lips over Heero's clammy brow. He wanted to say it, wanted to tell
his angel how much he loved him, but it hurt too much. His throat was sore, his
mind unfocused. He could feel Duo laying him back against the mattress, curling
his slender frame around him, and he sighed, grateful for the warmth, snuggling
close.
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
Cobalt blue eyes focused in on the slender, braided figure who was currently
flipping hamburgers on the stove, humming happily to himself. Heero felt a small
amused smile curling his lips, and for once, let it form. He walked up silently
behind Duo, wrapping his arms around the slender waist. Duo jumped, barely
managing to get the burger back into the pan.
"Sheesh, Hee-chan, give a guy a heart attack," he murmured, caressing
Heero's cheek as he turned his head for a kiss. One which Heero gladly gave,
exploring the warm recesses of Duo's mouth. Duo was almost purring by the time
he finally released his lips.
Heero brushed another kiss over Duo's temple, reaching into his pocket, then
bringing up a small box, presenting it to Duo.
"Ooh, for me?" Duo gushed, taking it with a grin. Heero's arms
remained around Duo's waist, as Duo opened the box, his eyes lighting up as he
saw the tiny cross earrings inside. "I love it, koibito," he
whispered, capturing Heero's lips for another long kiss. Finally they stopped
for air, and Duo smiled. "I'll go put them on," he whispered,
caressing Heero's chin. Heero smiled, watching Duo bounce into the bedroom. His
cobalt blue eyes were filled with love and warmth, reflecting the soul that was
slowly emerging from within.