s[aCHAPTER 2a[s

                “Sheesh! TROWA NEVER TOLD ME THAT THIS —beep— country had SEVEN THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED PLUS ISLANDS!!!”

He balked at the task before him. “GOOD GOD!!!”

Duo landed Shinigami on the nearest island. He looked around for some of the residents to help him on his search.

He saw a short dark native with his fishing pole set on his shoulder, happily whistling towards some lake or something.

“Hey you! Over there! Sir!”

The native turned to gaze at the foreigner. “Ano? Anong kailangan mo sa akin?” he asked in a foreign tongue.

“Uh...” Duo started running towards the nearest bookstore to buy a Filipino-English Dictionary. “Be right back!” He left the perplexed native behind.

“Um.” He started, leafing through the thick book. “Sa-an...ba...nah-teen...ma-kitah ang —lumboy?” (translation: Where can I find some lumboy?)

The Filipino’s face broke into a wide grin. “Oh! You needn’t have gone that far! I can speak perfect English. Wanna see my collegiate degree?”

Duo wanted to cry. Badly. Instead he tipped over. “But...I thought— Oh never mind. About the lumboy thingie— What is it? Where can I find it? How much do I need for a pregnant ma— uh, woman?” he asked hurriedly.

“Oh! You mean like the rare berry-like fruit?” the native asked amiably.

“Whatever!” he cut in. “Hey whaddya mean— RARE?!”

“I’m sorry, sir— there was a plague about several months ago when I was away in one of the colonies— Well, the villagers told me that the plague had wiped out the rest of the lumboy trees here in this part of the country.”

Duo felt very faint. “You mean—?”

“Don’t despair, sir. I heard from my friends in the Visayas Region that there were still a handful or so trees in Cebu,” he continued.

“Cey-bu?” The braided one asked incredulously.

“Nooo...See-boo.” He corrected.

“Whatever! So—among the 7,100+ islands here— where may see-bu be?”

tttttttt

                Duo grumbled to himself as he landed his Gundam for the second time that day. He hoped that he got it right this time (sweatdrop) Other bigger islands were surrounding this small island after all.

He slid out and down and saw a native sitting a few feet away. “Hey yo! Mister Native? You speak English?” He waved frantically at him.

“Eh?” the native blinked in confusion.

“Oh-dang!” Duo cursed. He rushed off to buy another one of them dang dictionaries. “Curse this country for having so many dialects!” he grumbled.

“Ah, well— let’s see— keen-sah mahn kah? Asah ang ma-ngah luhm-boy deenh-hih?”
(translation: Who are you? Where can I find some lumboy?)

“Eh?” the blank-faced native repeated.

A small kid tugged on Duo’s shirt. “Eh?” Duo stopped. “I mean— what, kid?”

“Uh— mister, that guy’s known to be deaf,” the kid told him, giggling a cute giggle.

“WHAT? NO WONDER HE DIDN’T UNDERSTAND! And hey- you can SPEAK ENGLISH?!” he asked incredulously.

The little boy sweatdropped. “Hey, Filipinos aren’t that dumb, you know? You insult me and my country!” He started to get teary eyed.

“Um...Wait, I’m sorry, kid!” He patted the boy’s head affectionately.

“Sniff...it’s okay...” the boy walked away. “C’ya, mister!” and ran happily away playing with his toy.

“Ahem!” a voice behind Duo.

Duo turned around to face a tall dark man in full military regalia. “Urk—”

The soldier’s face broke into a wide grin. “You must be the one Tristan told me about!”

“Tristan? The fisherman guy?” Duo asked.

“Yep. Now, shall we go on to the base? I’ve asked special permission from the General to admit you in! By the way, my name is Lt. Mercado, at yer service!” The lieutenant continued.

“It’s in a BASE?! But it’s only one damn tree, right?” Duo shrieked in exasperation. “Man, your whole country’s SOOO EXASPERATING!!!”

The soldier nodded. “I see— you’ve been to ALL the seven thousand islands?”

“NO!”

“Well...Just so you know—“ The lieutenant motioned Duo to come over. Duo did just that.

In a dramatic (not so obvious) stage whisper, he began, “There is only one living specimen of the lumboy tree. It was just recently discovered that there was a natural gene enhancer in it. So now, the lumboy tree is placed under the highest level of security. Stealing from it means stealing from the government. It is a majoy crime, subjected to instant death penalty. This order will be lessened, though, when we plant more trees—” The soldier trailed off.

“WHAT?!?” Duo’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. “So—what did ya mean when I could get— you said something about getting permission— what will I do with my poor, pregnant Hee— wife?!”

“I was just kidding!” Lt. Mercado gave him the peace sign, and another one of ‘em huge grins.

Duo tipped over. This was gonna be a long afternoon...

tttttttt

                Back at the hideout... (Quatre’s mansion)

“Heero, stop it!” The three Gundam pilots screamed in exasperation.

“Hn!”

A while ago Heero had berated Wufei for wearing white, Quatre for wearing cologne, and Trowa for having an annoying shade of brown hair which so happened to be sticking out his head at only one side, and that irritated Heero even more.

Heero even went so far as to redecorate the house, suiting his needs. Trowa, Quatre and Wufei were slightly annoyed.

The door slammed suddenly open with a panting Duo at the entrance.

“Hee (pant) chan! (pant) I got yer lumboy (pant)!” He held two bulging plastic bags of the small dark fruit.

Heero trudged over to Duo, grabbed a handful of lumboy, and popped them into his mouth, spitting out the seeds a bit later.

“Oi Heero! I haven’t washed them yet!” Duo protested, grabbing Heero’s shoulders.

“Don’t care,” Heero muttered.

“Please Heero! Goodness knows what germs you might catch or something!” he scolded.

“Okay fine then!” Heero grabbed the two bags and dumped the entire contents of it into a pristine-white bathtub that Quatre had in one of the nice bathrooms.

Heero let the water run over the lumboy fruits, in the process staining the bathtub. The he got a big bowl and put all the lumboy in and sat at the couch, munching on them. He also dragged a trashcan along with him for the seeds.

Quatre moaned in agony in Trowa’s comforting arms as he stared at his million-dollar bathtub with a shade of sickly violet.

“Hey! That’s a rare delicacy over in the R3 colony! May I have some?” Wufei brightened up.

Heero glared at Wufei for a second and calmly brought out his gun. “Omae o korosu!”

“Kisama! Injustice! Not even for one single berry?” Wufei screeched. When he got no response, he stalked off, muttering about Nataku and justice and whatever. 

[To be continued...]

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