"Konnichiwa, minna-san! *smiles cutely* I'm Rhole-chan, the host for today's show!" (grins as she holds a book)
"Eh? Nani kore, Rhole-chan?"
[A girl with short brownish-bluish hair cut somewhat like Aya's walks on screen, holding a HUGE sword.]
"Are? Rain-chan!!" *huggles* "Why don't you stay for the show?"
"Sure, okay."
"Rain-chan...one more thing."
"Nani?"
"Please, put the sword away..."
"Oh, sure."
[Rain tosses sword off camera. Screaming and stuff being broken is heard. Both girls sweatdrop.]
"Tonikaku...minna-san! This is my good friend, Kanashimi Rain!"
"Yoroshiku ne!" (peace sign) "So, Rhole-chan, just what is this show about?"
"It's a cooking show!" (grins)
"C--cooking???!!!" (cringes)
"Maa, daijoubu yo! We aren't the one's doing the cooking..."
(silly-drooling-fangirl-giggle)
[Rhole shows Rain the books title. After Rain puts her eyes back in her sockets and stops
nosebleeding, the show continues...]
"W..where did you get that!!!!????"
"Ebay, of course. Had to pay $58 bucks for it! Okies, I'm sure you're all wondering what kind of cookbook this is. Well, at least those of you who haven't read any fanfics. (snicker) Rain-chan, shall we?"
"Surely."
Rhole & Rain: "Weiß recipies, the Yaoi way!"
[Wave of cheers come from the audience, who all just so happen to be members of various yaoi ml's.]
"But Rhole, WHY are they here?" (points to SWAT team members who are posted throughtout the studio)
"You'll see." ^_^() "Due to the fact that the network is nothing but a bunch of cheap ba--anou, I mean due to time restraints, I was only able to interview a few members..."
[Collective poutwhinegrumble from audience]
"But I have a special treat for you all. Today, we'll be showing the videos from the demonstrations!"
[Audience is slowly becoming a raging mob. A video screen appears as the lights go dark. Video starts. Screaming fills the air once Aya comes on screen.]
"AYA!!!!! My love!!! Your Rain-chan's here!!! (attaches self to screen) Shimatta! I can't fit into the screeeeennnnnnn!!!"
[Rain continues with her random series of screaming, endless babble, and glomping the screen, staring at Aya with starry eyes. SWAT team 'calms' her down with a taser gun. Rhole sweatdrops.]
"Konnichiwa, minna! Today, I'll show you how to make my Soccer Special! It's very simple, and fun too! Rhole, would you read the ingredients please?"
"Hai! One gallon of your favorite ice cream, a bottle of strawberry syrup, a few banannas...one Hidaka Ken, preferably without
clothing..."
[Video is drowned out by screaming fans at the mention of an attireless Ken. Shots ring through the air. Silence once more.]
"..and finally, a soccer ball. Well, Aya seems to have everything, except Ken..."
[Ken is shoved into the room]
"Oi, What're you doing...??!! Who is she?" (points to Rhole, who is drooling)
[Ken spots the ingredients, and blushes. Screams of "I KNEW IT!!" come from audience.]
"Aya! Not in front of--" [Aya pounces Ken. Three minutes later, Ken is covered in vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, with a soccerball resting on top. Rhole's eyes bug out on video. Fans scream.]
"Itadakimasu..." (insert random yaoi fantasy here) [Aya picks up Ken and heads off camera.]
"Aah...arigatou gozaimasu for your help Aya! [end video one. ] Next, Naoe Nagi shows us how to make his favorite, Raspberry Floats!"
[Next video starts. Shouts of "IT'S OMI!" Fill the air occasionally.]
"Now, I'm with Naoe Nagi! To make Nagi-kun's fruity delight, you'll need a bunch of raspberries and cream..."
[Omi walks into the room, beaming. Declarations of love are shouted.]
"Are? Omi-kun!? Why are you here??"
"To help Nagi-kun!" (smiles as more obsessed screams fill the air)
"Should've known. Um, okies... (clears throat) Step one...take a handful of berries and crush them thoroughly..."
[Nagi is shown running handfuls of crushed berries down Omi's chest, his shirt having magically disappeared. Cue sonic blast of
shrill screams.]
". . .step two. Add a cup of cream... (drools) Ah, screw it! Just let em go, and make sure you get all of this on tape!"
[Yaoi-ish stuff happens as the two float off screen. End video two. Rain whaps a nosebleeding Rhole.]
"...and hence the name, Raspberry Float." ^o^
"Rain-chan, would you please announce the next video?"
"No prob! (reads cue cards) Video three features Kudou Youji and his self named dessert, Youji's Surprise!"
[Video starts. Janitors mop up large puddles of drool as Youji appears, wearing that outfit from the 2nd manga.]
(stary-eyed) "K-konnichiwa...I'm here with Kudou Youji, who's gonna show us his speciality dessert..."
[Youji flirts with Rhole. Rhole flashes the stupidest grin ever. Rain looks for her sword. Fans become restless.]
"Saa, if you'll follow me..."
"H-hai."
[Aya is shown sitting in a chair, reading a book. He nods silently as everyone else enters the room. Rain tries to glomp the
screen once more. Rhole whaps her with an umbrella.]
"Now, I'll read the ingriendents. 'Watch and see...' That's it."
[confused look which quickly changes to eyes bugging out and gasps for air as Youji takes off his jacket. Camera zooms in on Youji's chest. Dental floss flies from the audience.]
Youji: "Surprise." [is on Aya like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. (1) End video 3.]
"hee hee... (drool) Youji...no shirt..."
"Rhole...oi, Rhole-chan? RHOLE!!"
(blinks) "Eh? Ah, gomen nasai! Just thinking."
"I'll bet..."
(glares at Rain) "Like you've got room to talk...anyway...minna-san, we're at the final video for today--"
[96 cattleprods and taser guns later, the audience shuts up]
"--featuring none other than the series' resident psycho, Farfarello!"
[Rhole and Rain are knocked over by the sonic wave of screaming coming from all the Farfie fans. Seems that the Farfie Fans Unite club decided to stop by... ^^()]
[Video shows a large room with padded walls, knives and other sharp pointy objects strewn about everywhere. Farfie is in the corner giggling. More screams erupt from the Farf lovers.]
"I can't believe they actually LIKE that sick--"
[Rhole clamps her hand over Rain's mouth, knowing all too well that the FFU club can get VERY dangerous when Farfie is bashed in their prescence. Farfie appears on screen, licking an icepick.]
"Yosho! As per Farf's request, I won't read the name of his favorite dessert until it's completed... (nervous grin) Now for the first ingredient..."
[All is silent as Farf pulls a large jar out of a bag.]
"...Farshmallow Cream! That's right minna-san, Farf's own brand of that lovely gooey white stuff! No, you hentai's; not THAT kind of gooey white stuff..." (clears throat and sweatdrops)
[Farf walks further into the room. Fans begin chanting Farshmallow Cream. Camera pans to reveal Nagi, tied up, gagged, and
struggling, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.]
"Ingriedent number two...Nagi. Add Farshmallow Cream as necessary, preferrably warm...um, Farfie, what are you doing with
those knives...?"
Rain: "K...kowai yo..." (trembles underneath the counter)
Rhole: (bangs head against counter)
[Camera pans away quickly as muffled screams which quickly change into moans are heard in the background. National Guard is called in.]
"...(nosebleeds) and that, minna-san, was Farf's own Farshmallow Cream a la Nagi... (edges towards the door) okies, that's all the time we have for today! Thanks for watching...ja ne!"
[End program. Studio is destroyed by raging Farfie fans. Note mass carnage and destruction. Rhole and Rain sneak out the back door. Cue dancing cows...]
~*Owari*~