Wednesday, December 31, 2008  

 Farewell to the most bizarre year ever.... 

As I sit here in my Christmas jammies, yes the very ones that my mom buys us every single year so we can ALL foolishly match, I am contemplating 
many things. First of all, I am still hungry even after two hard boiled eggs (what does that mean?!), secondly I have GOT to get dressed and begin 
the preparations for my New Year's Eve gathering, and finally, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO 2008?! Seriously, is it just me, or was this single handedly 
the most bizarre year in recent time? Even more disconcerting, is the fact that it was like a vapor. I wonder if this is how time will manifest it's 
mocking face from this point on? When I was a kid, all of the "old timers" would admonish me to "enjoy every single moment of being a kid, because before 
you know it, you will have to be a grown up" and I was THRILLED at the prospect of being a grown up. Now, I look back at things in life, and I wish I 
could go back and sit squarely in those moments, and breathe them all in, let them settle on my skin like little butterflies, and enjoy them...like I 
didn't before. The real test this year, and maybe for many more to come, will be to learn to observe and appreciate the moments I have, when I have them. 
If anyone has a secret to this kind of discipline, please share. 
A dear friend of mine sent me a book in the mail, I am not exactly sure why this book, I suppose just because he does stuff like that for me now and then. 
His note attached read "I thought maybe you'd get some good song inspiration out of this" and I understand why once I cracked the spine. It is a very 
interesting read, when in a contemplative state, almost painful. When looking at my own life, even over the last year, I spent so much time regretting, 
or wishing and wondering. This book, "PostSecret" is an interesting view of humanity, and unabashed honesty. Suddenly, I realize that EVERYBODY is broken 
in one way or another, and the comfort is in the knowing that we aren't alone. I was flipping through some of these pages, and as I was "contemplating" 
a new year in my life, I considered all of these things, all of these moments. I DO want to live IN them, and learn FROM them. That is how I want to look 
back on my life, to remember not what I did or didn't do, but how it FELT when I did or didn't do it. Is that possible? If it is, I want to discover the 
secret.
(pause) 
By the way, "HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU SYDNEY FOLKS, INCLUDING MOM AND DAD!" Just saw the fireworks in Sydney Harbor...

OK, back to my thoughts....
Wait, where did they go?! Oh ok...found them.
I really do want to make some changes, live my truth, I wish the very same for all of you this new year. I wish lots of other things too for you, but 
those are secret...he he. This year will prove to be a juxtaposition of sorts I believe: a year of great promise, and a year of pessimism, of hope and 
heaviness. I am banking on the promise. Happy New Year everyone, all you beautiful, broken people!!!! I hope to see a lot of you in 2009, we can share 
ol' war stories....:) 


xo
Kristyn