The Scariest Girl in the World

May 20, 2004

I never, EVER get PMS. I don’t get jet lag either. I don’t get offended that easily, and it’s pretty hard to scare me.

I pay all of my bills in full, on time, no matter what. I would never borrow money from someone who wasn’t a blood relative. I don’t harbor second thoughts about “someday” getting another degree. Screw that. I'm done with school.

I have my own sense of style and tweak my appearance whenever I feel like it, and while I’ll accept compliments I don’t care if people think I look weird or whatever.

I don’t care if a guy is into porn, as long as he respects my vibrator collection.

I don’t care if a guy goes out with his buddies, as long as he doesn’t give me any crap about going out with my bad girls.

I don’t care if a guy has female friends, as long as my having male friends (who, I might add, are perhaps better described as “drinking buddies”) isn’t an issue.

I don’t care if a guy drools over my figure (I was a C cup in the 7th grade; I‘m pretty much desensitized to it), as long as he appreciates my personality.

I don’t care if a guy wants to go on a road trip with his buddies, as long as he doesn’t get all fussy when I tell him I’m going to Palm Springs/Bali/Saturn/wherever with the girls for a few days and I’ll call him after I get home.

Although I am much more likely to be spotted in lace-up boots, I can walk in 6-inch heels without falling on my ass, even after consuming several drinks.

I am not at all afraid to go somewhere alone or do something alone. Hell, I’ve been doing that for most of my life.

When someone I know is doing something wrong you can bet I’m going to call them on it. Even if it’s someone I love wholeheartedly. I am not especially fond of confrontation, but I don’t fear it, and if someone gets out of line with me, they had better watch their ass.

I live in a world that tells us it’s okay to ignore suffering and I won’t ignore it. I don’t want to know what kind of self-absorbed jerk I’d be if I just passively accepted all the screwed-up crap that’s happening. I live in a world that is puzzled by vegans (and frequently laughs at them), and I am one, and I won‘t go back on my decision for anyone.

I have a brain and I use it. I am not afraid to form my own opinions, correct people, build on someone else’s point, or offer up background information on a subject other people know nothing about (and I usually can).

Evidently, it’s not “normal” to find all of this individuality, independence, and inner strength in a young female.

And according to the feedback I’ve gotten from my bad-girl crew, my male friends, and the occasional drunk stranger in a bar, all of this scares the hell out of other people, especially guys, and is the reason why the only dates I’ve had in ages have been with Jack Daniels.

Email me if you feel like it.

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