Spike was gone.
Completely gone, and it was all his fault.
If only Willow had managed in time.
Managed that stupid fucking curse.
He could never forgive himself for what he�d done.
How could he?
Drusilla had always given the impression of floating when she walked. There was something so graceful about her. Her skirt swished as she glided through the door. Angel sniffed the air, and could smell her sweet, delicate scent. She always reeked of death and at the same time, a beautiful flower, whose scent Angel had not yet identified.
�Angel�� her voice was soft, yet enchanting, and Angel remembered why he had chosen her, so many years ago.
�What are you doing here?� he replied, growling gently.
She was not welcome here, Darla had forbidden her and Spike from seeing him since he regained his soul. They had abided by this rule for a century, but yet, something must have changed, because here Drusilla was� as demented as ever.
�I thought I might come for a play. The stars whispered to me tonight, and do you know what they told me?�
�What did they tell you?�
It was always easier to play along with Drusilla. Although she looked gentle, she could be as fierce as a tiger when she wanted to be.
�Psst, psst, listen, listen. Everything will be different forever. Can�t you hear it?�
Angel shook his head. �No. Please leave me alone, Dru, you should go.�
�You�re afraid.�
�No.�
�Afraid of me. Little me. You used to call me your little bird. Don�t you remember?�
�That was a long time ago.�
�Yet still fresh in your mind. Angel, forget this silly soul, come home, and we�ll be a family again. Just like old times.�
�No.�
�No. It will never be the same again, will it? You have a monster inside you Angel. Don�t fight it; I know it�s down there, waiting to come alive again. You can walk like a human, yet you�ll never be accepted. Do you think the Slayer could ever love you? She hates you, fears you, and you hate her. I know it. Because I know you, my darling.�
She�d moved over to him, and was running her hands up and down his back. He trembled at the shivers that ran up and down his spine.
�Stop.�
�So much pain, and so much hurt. It�s all here, inside your head. I can hear it.�
�Drusilla, go home.�
�Come with me. I can take the pain away, I promise. Just come with me.�
Angel closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations he was feeling. He was disgusted with himself, for letting this continue, but at the same time, it felt right.
He was running now, faster and faster.
He wasn�t even sure of where he was going, he just had to get out of here.
He let out a loud cry of pain and anguish, and stopped running.
The tears ran out of his eyes and down his cheeks, tracing paths down his face. He could taste the saltiness, and it shook him into reality.
Where was he running?
It didn�t matter where he went, he would be haunted with what he had done.
Forever.
Angel awoke the next morning to find Drusilla sitting above him, watching for a reaction.
�Angelus?�
�Yeah baby, I�m back.�
He fell to the ground, the emotional strain making him weak. Or maybe it had just been all the running. Who knew?
He let out another loud mournful cry, and it echoed, deep into the end.
Drusilla led him by the hand into the factory doors. Spike was sitting in his chair, at the head of the table, facing them.
�Hello, pet. Been out for a walk?� Spike�s voice was cautious.
�My sweet, look who I found. He�s back, and we can be a family again!�
�Spike.�
�Angelus? My old sire! Well, I�ll be damned. Well, actually I am damned. But that�s not the issue. No more of this soul crap?�
�Not to my knowledge.�
�What fun we can have then.�
�We�re going to destroy the world. Want to come?�
�Wouldn�t miss it.�
He didn�t even know what had happened.
One minute, he was playing at happy family, the next� he was trying to kill Spike.
The moon through the trees cast strange, dancing shadows on Spike�s face. In this blue light, Spike looked almost translucent. Angel gazed at him, studying his face, memorizing it, as though it were the last time it would be seen. He let his hand run down Spike�s face, tracing the soft lines and the sculpted cheekbones. Angel then returned his attention to his sketch. Remembering the lines he had just touched, he drew them onto his page, until he was fully satisfied with the way Spike looked.
�Good night, dear childe,� Angel whispered. A soft, yet sadistic whisper.
He raised the stake high above his head and drove it deep into Spike�s heart. Spike awoke with a start and screamed.
A long, lasting scream that would stay locked within Angel�s head forever.
He knew why he did it.
Buffy and the rest of the Scooby�s had found his cure.
They had been getting stronger. Putting Spike in a wheelchair had been the last straw, he remembered.
He knew what he�d felt. Anger towards Buffy, and also anger towards Spike, for being reckless and confronting her.
He�d also wanted Drusilla. He was sick of sharing. Sharing her with him. And sharing him with her.
And then of course, he�d wanted revenge.
Spike had been sleeping with Buffy.
He wasn�t sure what hurt him more. The betrayal of Buffy, or the betrayal of Spike.
Angel smiled a twisted smile, and went into the next room to see his beloved Drusilla, sprawled on the bed like a rag doll. Her arms and legs bound her to the bed and her mouth was frozen in a permanent scream. Her unseeing eyes, cut out and placed beside her head, and holy water burns all over her naked body. Yet, he knew that this had not killed her. Merely knocked her into an unconsciousness.
�Drusilla, honey? Wake up!� Angel laughed maniacally. He raised the stake above him again, and plunged it into Drusilla, laughing while he watched her turn to dust.
�I bet the stars didn�t warn you about that.�
But then� suddenly, there was pain. As though something was coming back. He was remembering things.
�Not again!�
Angel ran, he ran from the factory and into the night.
With the night came a harsh, cold wind, blowing the trees around, violently shaking them. But that didn�t bother Angel. Nothing mattered anymore.