20 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

(50 more at the bottom.)

1.Ask people on the elevator if they've seen the first part of the movie Speed.
2.Push all the floor buttons. At every floor, get out, look around, mutter, "Looks okay so far," and get back in.
3.Put notices in the elevators that read "Last Inspection: Passed. Next Inspection Due: Jan 87"
4.Use physics to determine how fast the elevator will be going if it free-falls from the top floor.
5.Countdown "5...4...3...2...1" and then suddenly duck.
6.Get on the elevator at the top floor and ask, "Going down?"
7.Keep muttering, "I hope it doesn't happen again..."
8.Have a friend with you, but act like he's a complete stranger. After a while, turn to him and say, "Wanna trade?" Then promptly trade wallets.
9.Replace the 3 on the third floor button with the Greek letter pi.
10.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
11.Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
12.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
13.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
15.Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
16.Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
17.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask, "Got enough air in there?"
18.Enter the elevator with a friend and have your friend say "I'll take your case but why'd you shoot the guy?" Respond with, "'Cause he kept lookin' at the back of my head." (From AC Salzer)
19.Put on a ski mask, tap the shoulder of the guy in front of you, and politely ask, "Hiya! Do you know how to unjam a pistol?" (From Ricky J. Sutton)
20.Enter a medical building with a friend. Get him to ask you, "So what did he say?", then cough, and answer "It's definitely contagious."

50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, d---it, all of you just shut UP!"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, d--n motion sickness!"

19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.

20. Meow occassionally.

21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"

23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"

29. Leave a box between the doors.

30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.

32. Start a sing-along.

33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

34. Play the harmonica.

35. Shadow box.

36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

37. Lean against the button panel.

38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

41. Bring a chair along.

42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

43. Blow spit bubbles.

44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"