Dear Slash;







Unfortunately, in the 80's I was much too young to be a groupie. However, now I am in my 20's, and I would like to give you the best 20 seconds of your life.







You see, Slash, I have had a solid crush on you for quite sometime. I was actually somewhat excited to hear that you are getting a divorce, although no one likes to see a marriage break up. However, I am here to comfort you and take advantage of your vulnerability.







I realize that you are approximately twice my age, but I can assure you that is perfectly legal in California.







I have a stunning personality, impeccable grammar, and I like snakes. Rest assured, I do not want to be your third wife.  I would just like to know what you look like without the leather pants. I don't think that's too much to ask. It will be 20 seconds well spent, I promise.







Sincerely,



Carrie