KAREL'S CHEESE HOUSE

502.
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings ?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night !

503.
Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

504.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

505.
Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel.

506.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

507.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.

508.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

509.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

510.
Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
A: To keep her ankles warm.

511.
Q: How can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did with her cigarette.

512.
Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
A: Way to go team!

513.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: By the chipped tooth.

514.
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)

515.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

516.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: To keep from bruising their ears.

517.
Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
A: So guys will talk to them at parties.

518.
Q: Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm?
A: She loves having her picture taken (flashes, got it?).

519.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
A: Full.

520.
Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?" A: "No, I just lie there."

521.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "Thanks, guys..."

522.
Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air pockets.

523.
Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: "Space. The final frontier......"

524.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengals team?
A: Just One... Boomer Esiason.

525.
Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.

526.
Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner?
A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.

527.
Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.

528.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

529.
Q: What happens when a blonde puts her panties on backwards?
A: She gets her ass chewed out.

530.
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

531.
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

532.
Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them!

533.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that said she would do anything for a fur coat?
A: Well, now she can't button it.(prego)

534.
Q: Did you hear about the sophisticated blonde?
A: She thought her period was French Provincial.

535.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

536.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend say id he loved her?
A: She believed him.

537.
Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: It's called MAIDS - if the don't get one, they die.

538.
Q: Did you hear about the blond with a Masters degree in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.

539.
Q: Did you hear about the new slogan for Miss Clairol's Hair Dye?
A: Buy a double batch and get a snatch to match.

540.
Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: She screams her own name when she comes.

541.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard.

542.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had an apendix operation?
A: Well, now she is making money on the side.

543.
Q: Did you hear about the scared blonde nurse down by the water?
A: She won't go DOWN ON THE DOC.

544.
Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.

545.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ALMOST CAUSED A WRECK?
A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.

546.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE DOCTOR?
A: She shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.

547.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS?
A: She was dragged 200 yards.

548.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea?
A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams.

549.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF A MIRROR WITH HER EYES CLOSED?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

550.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL FOR BLONDES?
A: They take off their makeup.

551.
Q: Why won't a blonde drink beer at the beach?
A: She's afraid to get sand in her Busch.

552.
Q: Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A: To keep their legs together.

553.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

554.
Q: Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A: The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.

555.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: Her employer found out she was embezzling.

556.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.

557.
Q: HOW MANY BLONDES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?
A: Blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.

558.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

559.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...

560.
Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.

561.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.

562.
Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A: Divorced.

563.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!

564.
Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.

565.
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.

566.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

567.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

568.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.

569.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

570.
Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

571.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

572.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

573.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....

574.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.

575.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

576.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

577.
Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!

578.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.

579.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

580.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

581.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

582.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.

583.
Q: What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a blonde track team?
A: The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

584.
Q: What is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player and a blonde?
A: He is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck.

585.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

586.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
The nympho says "Are you done already?"
The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

587.
Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

588.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

589.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A: A shower has to be turned on to get wet.

590.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.

591.
Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

592.
Q: What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.

593.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

594.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A: Not everybody has been in a limo.

595.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.
A4: You don't eat your bowling ball

596.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.

597.
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

598.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

599.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their back.

600.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.