A Christian Poem On Little League Cheating*

 

"Filipinos are cheaters and they think playing baseball
is the greatest accomplishment of all and not knowing
the value of the sport or the purpose of the game.
    The Philippines is a very strange country. I al-
ways recommend to everybody not to go there, unless
you want to get laid.
    The Philippines is a country where fathers sell
their own daughters for sex. That’s how desperate they
are over there.
    I think they eat their young over there."

—Howard Stern, "The Howard Stern
    Show", 14 Sept./92 broadcast,
    WWOR TV-9 New Jersey (as re-
    ported by The Phil. Star 14
    Nov./92)

 

"Filipinos are a terrible people. . . . Filipinos are
the most depraved people in the world and probably
worse than people from France. . . . Parents are sell-
ing children for prostitution. . . . You can go there
and screw just about anybody."

—Howard Stern in same program,
    21 April/92 broadcast, same
    station

 

"In God we trust."

—motto of the American people

 

"Foulmouthed and lacking in sobriety, (Christ) often in-
dulged in name-calling and mudslinging, denouncing the
scribes and Pharisees, the dominant classes and
their stooges in his day as hypocrites, serpents, a
brood of vipers, blind fools, blind guides straining
out a gnat and swallowing a camel, whitened sepulchers
full of dead men’s bones and all their uncleanliness,
full of extortion, wickedness, rapacity, and iniquity."

—Jose F. Lacaba in "Jesus Christ
    Anti-Star", Asia Philippines
    Leader, 31 March/72 (reprinted
    in National Midweek, 26 March/
    86)

 

 

Filipinos are cheaters such as they have become.
Such as they have been taught. Such as world
democracy has allowed liberal importation to
flow in to an imbalance. Such as biodiversity
programs seek to put patents on our fauna. Such
as an American base treaty seeks to fool us w/ words.

Filipinos are cheaters. Filipinos are suckers. Where
they’ve proven to be suckers, they’ve forgiven.
Such that they forgive themselves when they cheat.
Thank you, America, we have made hoarding,
price hiking, corruption, election frauds, etc. a
way of life. We cheat so much in the domestic
front, we’ve forgotten it’s America’s turf to cheat

in the world front. We have forgotten to worship
America, thinking baseball the greatest accomplish-
ment. We have forgotten baseball’s a mere
symbol, and American protectorates the greatest
accomplishment, the greatest honor a native hero
can bemedal himself with for a statue in Califor-

nia, or Ilocandia. The value of baseball is in
the competition, I remember now, the secret signs
of competition, the bases of climbing to Home.
The virtue of baseball is in the cap, manufac-
tured by those who commercialize sports. It
is by this forgetfulness that the Philippine Islands
have become strange. For the meantime, then, we

recommend to everybody not to come here. Girl-
napping’s as rampant as in Philadelphia, or is
it Detroit, geez America’s such a big country
you can’t anymore concentrate crime in just
one city. But yet see who comes! Coke still
comes. And Levi’s. And more. As Kipling wanted

Roosevelt to come, old recommendation. And got
laid, his soldiers. Laid to rest, and laid in
bed. We now have the blood of America in
our veins. Such that fathers sell their children
for sex. Oh, why did Aguinaldo recommend
our getting our examples from the depravity
of America’s ghettoes? How desperate we’ve

become. How rich now America has become
out of us. Aguinaldo has sold us to you,
fucking America. I think you eat Asians over
there, your tables get cheap mangoes and
bananas, cigars from Cuba, oh luxuriating States!
We can’t afford our own mangoes, we have
become terrible, from the Latin word terribili,
in turn from terrere, terrifying as Theodore. The
French too are terrible, so are the Russians, and
the Italians, and the Africans, all these people
that make up America are terrible people.

And so America is the Most Terrible. Oh Ter-
rible Terrifying Americans! We sell our chil-
dren to you, us suckers. Fuck us, motherfuckers!

 

 

-----------------------------

* The Philippine little league baseball team from Zamboanga City, The Philippines won the 1992 world championship in the United States. Certain Philippine journalists later smelled something rotten, crying "exploitation by the corrupt" or "teaching the kids how to cheat," when they found out none of the fourteen team members was qualified to be sent as a little-leaguer (as either deriving from cities other than Zamboanga [a little league charter illegality] or simply overaged, these allegedly with the connivance of officials alongside parents). The international little league baseball body got hold of the expose and promptly stripped the team of its title, triggering team supporters in the Philippine media to protest against the body's lack of due process. Patriotism, treason, and "false patriotism" became the bywords of the local sports media season, while in the US racist slurs were proliferating against the Filipino nation re the scandal.

 

 

 

Copyright © 1999, 2004 Vicente-Ignacio Soria de Veyra. All rights reserved. Readers are welcome to view, save, file and print out single copies of this webpage for their personal use. No reproduction, display, performance, multiple copy, transmission, or distribution of the work herein, or any excerpt, adaptation, abridgment or translation of same, may be made without written permission from the author. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this work will be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

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