From: DaisyWoo@XXX.XXX
Subject: Disney sayings

Here is a great item that my friend Robert, an ex-castmember 
shared with me. I feel obligated to pass them on to my fellow 
workmates as well... I can especially testify to the truths of 
these sayings, since I started working on a real attraction. Now 
I feel like a Ride Operator! For my friends that are not a part 
of the place we affectionately refer to as the Magic Kingdom, you
will still get a kick out of the humor!


**As you know, Disney loves to "sugarcoat" anything it says to 
the public and encourages us as Cast Members to do the same when 
we speak to park guests.**

Here's some "Disney Cast Member Lingo" and its unofficial 
"translations":

"We are experiencing technical difficulties."
Something bad just happened.

"At this time, we will need to evacuate the line."
Something really bad just happened.

"We should be operating again in about an hour."
I have no idea how long it will be.

"Thank you."
Go away.

"How many in your party?"
Are THEY with YOU?

"These 3-D glasses will impair your normal vision."
They look goofy if you wear them outside, and we get in 
trouble if anyone sees you with them.

"Excuse us, please."
If you don't move, a 1-ton cart will run you over.

"No flash photography, please."
It's not worth taking pictures of.

"Rows 1 and 2."
Go stand over there.

"We will have to hold our position here for a few more 
minutes."
The submarine in front of ours is on fire and if we move 
forward we will be too.

"Everything is fine. There is nothing to worry about."
Everything is not fine. There is plenty to worry about.

"This is a walkway only. I need you to keep moving."
Beat it before I hit you with my flashlight.

"I need you to step out of the planter now, please."
What the @#$%^ are you doing in there?!

"Yes, I do work here."
What tipped you off, genius? The nametag or the dorky costume?

"No, I'm sorry. The Tazmanian Devil is not a Disney character 
and therefore is not available for pictures in our park."
You're an idiot.

"I'm sorry that this attraction did not meet with your 
expectations."
Bite me.

"My, that's an ...interesting shirt."
How did Security let you through the gate wearing that filth?!

"Please remain calm."
It's time to panic. You are all going to die.

"The nearest restrooms are right there."
See that big sign right in front of your face that says 
RESTROOMS in bold letters? It's right under that.

"That attraction is not open yet."
What did you think all those green and blue construction 
walls were up for? Decoration?

"I'm very sorry, but because your child does not meet the 
height requirement for this attraction, it would be unsafe 
for him to ride."
As much as I'd like to see your little brat paralyzed, I 
would get in trouble if it happened. Now go bother somebody else.