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Jokes by Koori |
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Q: How do you catch a runaway dog? A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone! Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths? A: A shampoodle! Q: What kind of dog does a vampire prefer? A: Any kind of bloodhound! Q: What dogs are best for sending telegrams? A: Wire haired terriers!! Q: What do you call a happy Lassie? A: A jolly collie! Q: What do you call a nutty dog in Australia? A: A dingo-ling! Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers? A: A bud hound! Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot? A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw! Q: What is the dogs favourite city? A: New Yorkie! Q: Who is the dogs favourite comedian? A: Growlcho Marx! Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." Q: Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? A: Because it is below C level. Q: What is an example of a never halting program? A: Friedrichs and Magnus in front of an open elevator, each saying "you go first". Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash! Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?" Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite. Q. How do crazy people go through the forest? A. They take the psycho path. Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones. Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled milk. Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane? A. ME!!! Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. In snow banks. Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick. Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Q. What dog keeps the best time? A. A watch dog. Q. Why did the tomato blush? A. Because it saw the salad dressing! Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A. It let out a little wine! Q. How do you make a tissue dance? A. Put a little boogey in it! Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom? A. At the BP station! Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A. Odor in the court. Q. What did the water say to the boat? A. Nothing, it just waved. Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A. Dam! Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts. Q: Why did the nurse have a long pole and two rubber gloves? A: Her way of not getting pregnant. Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? A: If you aim it well enough. [Jokes are collected by Koori] |