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The Law of Agreement
It is impossible to walk through life with another, unless the celebration of common values is present.
- You will become like those with whom you associate.
- The quality of your life is greatly dependent upon those you call "friend".
- Our closest allies must always prize integrity above relationships.
- You may get what you want, but you will lose what you have.
- Always be cautious of someone who wants from you what he himself is unwilling to give.
- To walk through life according to principle often means you must walk alone.
- Whatever you make happen for others, God will make happen for you.
- The level of commitment to truth determines the level of intimacy that two can enjoy in any relationship.
- Your associations will determine assimilations.
- Every relationship you have is either drawing you closer to or further from God's perfect will for your life.
- I never make the pleasurable people of my present pay for the painful people of my past.
- The kind of requirements you place upon others reveals the kind of person that you are yourself.
- Watch what a person does and stop just listening to what a person says.
- I will experience my greatest moments and fulfill the destiny to which I've been called only as I remain faithful to Divinely ordained relationships.
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The Law of Access
There are unspoken rules; Both to access and to remain in relationship.
- A broken heart is the fruit of an unscrupulous relationship.
- You will suffer both the consequences and the rewards of those who are closest to you.
- Protocol is a term given to the rules that govern how to enter and how to remain in any relationship.
- Never allow the invitation of intimacy to be destroyed by the contempt of familiarity.
- Only when I have properly postured myself am I able to truly give or recieve in relationships.
- Future access will always be granted the moment you choose to bring pleasure to those who are important to your life.
- Every relationship feeds a strength or a weakness within you
- A prodigal wants the mentor to pursue him; a protege makes it his aim to pursue his mentor.
- The reward of any relationship is determined by the value that is placed upon it.
- Respect is magnetic. It will attract people, while disrespect will repel them.
- A prodigal respects with his words, but not with his heart; a protege lets his actions be the spokesman of his heart.
- Respect is the key that opens the door of access.
- Don't relate to people through God, but relate to God through people.
- Honor is the gate through which all Godly relationships enter.
- Joy must be the attitude of choice long before you know the outcome of your circumstances.
- Your attitude in life will determine your altitude in life.
- A true servant gladly abandons all personal pleasure, in order to become a tool in the hand of the one he serves.
- A prodigal is interested in the details of his own life; a protege is interested in the details of another's.
- Immediate attention to detail gets the immediate attention of the one whom you seek to please.
- A prodigal wants to exploit the mentor's gifts and skills to become great; a protege wants to develop his gifts and skills to the end that his mentor would be great.
- The crown of a man's character and purpose is born the moment he realises his duty to obey.
- A prodigal wants the mentor to embrace and approve the decisions that he has made; a protege wants to make the decisions that are recommended by the mentor.
- People always gravitate toward the person who is trying to please them.
- A prodigal concentrates on surpassing the mentor, while a protege concentrates on pleasing his mentor.
- The greatest power gratitude possesses is its inability to remain hidden.
- A prodigal asks "What can I get out of this relationship?" A protege proceeds from "What can I put into this relationship?" to "What is my mentor getting out his relationship with me?".
- What you make happen for someone else, God will make happen for you.
- He who ceases to remain faithful proves he truly never was.
- Your destiny is birthed the moment you sow yourself into another man's life.
- Loyalty is never as beautiful as the day that betrayal rears its ugly head.
- A prodigal believes that the mentor should protect him; a protege believes that he should protect the mentor.
- It is important to recognise who you are, but it is more important to acknowledge who you are not.
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The Law of Covenant
The mark of a healthy relationship is security, which is a result of trust.
- To seek the benefits (promises) of a covenant relationship without meeting the conditions is considered a breach of the covenant.
- The most accurate test of character occurs when we are thrown into the lion's den of humanity.
- Character endures the integrity of covenant.
- The prodigal feels that he is entitled to the resources of another, while the protege responds to whatever he recieves with heartful gratitude.
- Your value in any relationship is determined by your diversity.
- Your value in any relationship is the difference that you can bring, to cause success to come to your friend.
- Your value to others is in direct proportion to the problems you solve for them.
- A covenant not made is a covenant not enjoyed.
- The evidence of love is the pledge to protect.
- The only difference between control and correction lies in the heart of the reciever.
- The manner in which you treat a relationship when you no longer need it reveals the motive you had for it from the beginning.
- Commitment is the willingness to stay, after others have said good bye.
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The Law of Single Purpose
The celebration of any relationship is dependent upon the clear definition of purpose and vision.
- Satan cannot arrange your demise; But his is the author of confusion.
- Di-vision is simply two visions.
- Truth, not error, must be at the core of our unity.
- Imagination is the discovery of options. Focus is the removal of options.
- The snapshot of your future is taken with the people of your present.
- In life, there remains little left to be said, but much to be done.
- Submission remains lifeless until agreement breathes its final sigh.
- Submission is the willingness to bow my knee before men, in order to satisfy the requirements for heaven.
- It is not what is done to you that determines the outcome of your life; it is how you respond to injustice that determines your destiny.
- Faith boldly declares its dreams for the future, while fear finds its power from the past.
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The Law of Exclusivity
Authentic commitment demands selectivity, not inclusivity.
- Inspiration is the discovery of options, while focus is the elimination of them.
- A double standard is only acceptable to a hypocrite.
- At any given moment, every relationship is either taking you closer or further from God.
- If you desire to be great, you must qualify for access to the great.
- It is impossible for my gift to change the quality of another man's heart.
- Compromise is the willingness to accept what you don't believe, because you are unwilling to stand for what you do.
- Giants left undefeated will ultimately end in your demise.
- Whatever you compromise to keep, you will eventually lose.
- You cannot experience freedom without gratitude.
- If I am a true friend, I must never fear others more than I love you.
- Neutrality is the surrender of responsibility.
- What you believe about a person causes you to come to them, but what you know about a person causes you to stay with them.
- Compromise is rejected by those who choose to live in excellence and excellence is rejected by those who choose to live in mediocrity.
- The nectar of a relationship with you must be sweeter than the fragrance of its announcement from you.
- The quality of any relationship is completely dependent upon the level of pursuit that you can comfortably maintain.
- Those who are comfortable in their compromise will never be comfortable in your excellence.
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The Law of Transparency
Complete disclosure is an indispensable characteristic of all meaningful relationships.
- No accomplishment is ever rewarded as a result of good intentions.
- I can never change what I am unwilling to face.
- Unless we tear down the walls of self-protection, we will never experience the subline joy of being protected.
- Never present yourself, externally, what you are not, internally.
- We fool ourselves and call it walking in love, not realizing we are consenting to another's death.
- Guard integrity with your life, for it is better to die defending the truth than to live in the bondage of deceit.
- If you can't be trusted with the small things, you can't be trusted at all.
- Your integrity will preserve you; but it will also preserve others.
- Disobedience causes an immediate withdrawal from intimacy.
- Fear is the proof of a lack of trust.
- You will only be remembered for the problems you create or the problems you solve.
- Transparency fear-proofs a relationship.
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The Law of Mutual Benefit
The quality of any relationship is completely dependent upon the willingness of mutual pursuit.
- Never allow the gifts that have been bestowed upon you to ever eclipse the one who bestowed them.
- Integrity is the foundation upon which your life is built.
- Excellent relationships are defined not by what I can reap, but what I can sow.
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The Law of Sacrifice
Sacrifice is the road travelled on the journey to your divine destiny.
- Any relationship that is worth pursuing is worth pursuing with abandonment.
- The value you place on anything is immediately revealed by the price you are willing to pay for it.
- My willingness to invest in wise relationships is proof that I desire a deeper relationship with God.
- A relationship that is not maintained is non-existent.
- What you do first determines what someone else will do next, because anything that is done will cause a response.
- The pursuit of excellence can only be proven by the attitude with which you face the giant named "Maintenance".
- Your harvest is determined by what you sow, not decided by what you desire.
- To enjoy life we must always prize principle above relationship.
- Compromise is the willingness to accept what you don't believe, because you are unwilling to stand for what you do.
- Consequences are the chosen experiences of those who have elected to walk their own ways.
- The prize is worth the price.
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The Law of Synergy
One can chase a thousand, but two will put ten thousand to flight.
- In order to have a relationship with one, you just may have to disconnect from another.
- When you are looking for your future, you will never find it in your past.
- If intimacy does not give birth to change, then any future relationship is unnecessary.
- Excellence is the continual pursuit of distinction.
- We cannot enter our future when we are chained to our past by our lack of preparation.
- God will use the potential of another to take you to a level that you could never achieve on your own.
- Today's provision may come through diligence, but tommorrow's promotion can only come through relationship.
- My future lies in my promptness to complete a request from the one who has shown me favor.
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The Law of Ascent
Walk with the great, and you will become great.
- In order to get close to greatness, I must comply with greatness.
- Consequences are the detentions you recieve when you refuse to sit at the feet of an instructor.
- Wisdom is the reward provided for those who walk in humility.
- The bastard is only interested in the blessing of the father; the son is interested in the inheritance of his father.
- Your posture will determine your ascent.
- You will be both blessed by the virtues and cursed by the vices of those closest to you.
- A man is not defined by his beliefs, but by the quality of his actions.
- Your character is the foundation upon which your life's work is built.
- Today's excellence is tomorrow's mediocrity.
- It is impossible to correct what you are unwilling to face.
- It is impossible for your life to produce anything beyond the strength of your moral fiber.
- Mediocrity pursues comfort, while excellence pursues change.
- Submission to authority is the avenue through which my character is developed.
- With every promotion comes greater responsibility.
- Greatness becomes yours the moment you become small in your own eyes.
- Winners make decisions which prepares them for the future they have been promised. Losers celebrate the decisions that bring them momentary satisfaction.
- The rewards of life arrive only upon the doorsteps of the overcomers.
- It is impossible to be promoted for your intentions, because promotion is the reward for productivity.
- Honor is the willingness to acknowledge what someone has done, while ignoring what they have not.
- It takes the same amount of courage to sit down and listen as it does to stand up and speak.
- Your response to a man of God determines Heaven's response to you.
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The Law of Agreement
It is impossible to walk through life with another, unless the celebration of common values is present.
The non-negotiables of relationships
- Personal Integrity
- A Giving Attitude
- Unwavering Commitment to Truth
- Long-term Perspective
- The Passionate Pursuit of Distinction
- A Kingdom Mentality
Longevity of commitment is the key
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The Law of Access
There are unspoken rules; Both to access and to remain in relationship.
3 Types of Individuals
- Yesterday People
- Those from your past, who continually try to drag you into your past.
- Today People
- Those who are willing to accept you in the state where they first met you, and have some role to play in helping you fulfill your present assignment.
- Tomorrow People (Future Bearers)
- Those who are undeniably tied to helping you enter your future. They have been where you want to go. They are the only ones who can take you into a better tomorrow. other terms given to these types of individuals are 'mentor', 'father', 'pastor', and 'teacher'. Very few individuals ever access future bearers, because quite frankly, the qualifications are very high.
Discerning your proper role in relationships
- Who initiated this relationship?
- For what purpose was it established?
- What is expected of me in this relationship?
- What am I being asked to do?
- Am I pursuing access and favor from someone, or am I being asked to grant access and favor to someone?
- Am I a son, a father, or a brother/sister/peer in this relationship?
- What is it I hope to impart into this relationship?
- What is it I hope to obtain from this relationship?
- What need is being met by this relationship that no other relationship can meet?
- Would I consider this a necessary relationship in my life, or an optional one?
- What would my future look like without this person in my life?
- Would the other person consider my presence necessary or optional?
- How can I best please the other person in this relationship?
- How can I best please God in this relationship?
Recognizing a Prodigal
- A prodigal wants what you have, but is unwilling to pay the same price to obtain it.
- A prodigal is interested in what you will do for his influence and reputation.
- A prodigal is there solely to get.
- A prodigal wants you to continually recognize and praise him for his achievements, but he is not interested in celebrating yours.
- A prodigal believes you are in his life to meet his needs, but he is not there to meet yours.
- A prodigal is in your life looking for credibility, rather than correction and instruction.
- A prodigal will embrace your enemies, but still want to be your friend.
- A prodigal will use any knowledge to manipulate and use you.
- A prodigal will leave, the moment he has recieved from you what he believes that he needs.
- A prodigal will get angry with you for attempting to correct him.
A true Protege must demonstrate the following 10 qualities:
- Pursuit
- Respect
- Honor
- Attitude
- Attention [to the other]
- A Gift - Your Seed and Skill
- Obedience
- Desire to Please
- Desire to Give
- Value [treasuring the other]
Maintaining an Excellent Relationship
- Faithfulness
- Kindness
- Loyalty
- Protection
- Humility
- Discretion
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The Law of Covenant
The mark of a healthy relationship is security, which is a result of trust.
Covenant making involves...
- A statement of the terms agreed upon.
- An oath by each party to observe the terms, God being witness of the oath.
- A curse invoked by each one upon himself, in the event that he broke the agreement.
- The formal ratification of the covenant by some solemn external act.
Differences between a contract and a covenant
- Duration
- A contract always has an end date, while a covenant is a permanent arrangement. Covenants are lifelong arrangements.
- All-inclusive
- It includes all of you. Whereas a contract generally involves only one part of a person, such as a skill, a covenant covers a person's total being.
- Written on the heart
- A contract is usually written on paper with built-in loopholes, depending on the shrewdness of its architects. Conversely, a covenant is not written with ink onpaper, but rather, with spirit, upon human hearts.
Some declarations that are essential and foundational to all covenant relationships
- The Oath to Keep God in the Center
- The Pledge to Protect
- The Promise of Truth
- The Vow to Never Leave
The requirements of any "testament"...
- The Testator
- The Heirs
- The Goods
- The Testator's Death
- The Fact of the Death Brought Forward
- The Witnesses
- The Seal
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The Law of Single Purpose
The celebration of any relationship is dependent upon the clear definition of purpose and vision.
Immediately, in the beginning of every relationship, you must look long-term and ask yourself some very critical questions.
- What are the mutual benefits of this relationship?
- Where could this relationship take me?
- What are the possibilities?
- Are we like-minded?
- Are we moving in the same direction?
- Do we speak the same 'language'?
- Do we have the same long-term goals?
- What are the things that God can do through this relationship?
- What goals could be accomplished through this relationship that would be virtually impossible without it?
- What changes could God make in my life, if I began to invest in this relationship right now?
- How will this relationship affect my future?
- How can I add value to this new relationship?
Fundamental questions we should ask ourselves to know our own heart
- What are the unpleasant things that I am tolerating in my life right now?
- What are things that I would never allow in the past, but I now seem to be embracing?
- What are the things that used to repulse me, but now I'm letting them happen?
- What are the things that I would never let my eyes see before, but now they seem almost commonplace?
Remaining Unified
- The Ability to Submit
- The Ability to Serve
- The Ability to Support
- The Ability to Communicate
- The Ability to Understand
- The Ability to Encourage
- The Ability to Bear Pain
- The Ability to Change
Questions to ask when betrayal has occurred
- Did I give too much authority to this person too quickly?
- Did I trust someone I really didn't know very well?
- Did I spend enough time with that person to really become his friend?
- Did I let that person know what I expected of him?
- Did I ignore signs that something was going amiss?
- Did my spouse tell me something was wrong, but I wouldn't listen?
- What did I learn from this experience?
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The Law of Exclusivity
Authentic commitment demands selectivity, not inclusivity.
My Qualifications for Friendship
- My friends must be committed to long-lasting relationships.
- My friends must have empires within them.
- My friends must be sowers.
- My friends must qualify to recieve my seed.
- My friends must prize integrity above relationship.
- My friends must be willing to confront my enemies.
The dangerous people to avoid
- Those Who Feed Your Offenses
- Those Who Feed Your Excess
- Those Who Feed Your Flaws
- Those Who Refuse to Defend You In Your Absence
- Those Who Trivialize Your Life's Mission
- Those Who Feed Your Restlessness
- Those Who Feed Your Uncertainties
Relationship Levels
- Level One relationships are fun, but shallow. These are superficial associations with friendly people who are just nice to be around. Real, significant issues don't seem to come to the foreground. However, the more invested you become at this level, the more uncomfortable the relationship may become, because new expectations of commitment are being introduced.
- Level Two relationships require more from you. Here, you are expected to begin to have a particular deportment; you are expected to be places on time, to keep promises, and to be more predictable. You must be much more committed and responsible, because others are counting on you. This is the level when most people choose to drop away from a relationship.
- The final level is what most people would refer to as 'intense and in your face'. This is when your lives become forged together. You are each willing to give up comfort, for the other. Your friend sticks closer than a brother. He is a friend, in the truest sense of the word.
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The Law of Transparency
Complete disclosure is an indispensable characteristic of all meaningful relationships.
Self-deception
- An over-inflated opinion about oneself
- An under-inflated opinion about oneself, or more commonly known as low self-esteem
- Ignorance
- from a lack of awareness
- from a deliberate disdain for truth
Change is a 2 way process
- To accurately access what is presently inside our hearts, we must examine the outside of our lives, observing what we say and do.
- To change the traits that we don't like, we must examine the inside of our lives and displace the lies with the truth.
5 Canons of Transparency
- Straight-forwardness
- Intimacy
- Vulnerability
- Truth and Honesty
- Absolute Integrity
The Power of Truth
- Truth brings us into our relationship with God.
- Truth brings us into the light
- Truth purifies our soul
- Truth makes us free
- Truth leads us in the right way
- Truth preserves leaders
Benefits of Transparency
- Purity of Motive
- Restored Innocence
- Unfeigned Love
- Unquestioned Trust
- Unwavering Confidence
Evaluating your own heart
- Do I ask others to point out my blind spots?
- Am I willing to confront those blind spots?
- Do I decieve myself into believing that I'm more than what I really am?
- Do I exaggerate my own abilities?
- Do I tell half-truths?
- Do I flatter people to gain their approval?
- Do I give damaging reports of others in order to make myself look good?
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The Law of Mutual Benefit
The quality of any relationship is completely dependent upon the willingness of mutual pursuit.
9 Facets of Relationship
- Value
- Benefit
- Motivation
- Rewards
- Protection
- Respect
- Satisfaction
- Purpose
- Personal Ethics
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The Law of Sacrifice
Sacrifice is the road travelled on the journey to your divine destiny.
2 factors that stifle and thwart the Law of Sacrifice
3 Inescapable Tests of Sacrifice
- The Test of Character
- The Test of Integrity
- The Test of Release
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The Law of Synergy
One can chase a thousand, but two will put ten thousand to flight.
Arenas of Synergy
- Protection
- If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble.
- Provision and Production
- And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone?
- Prevailing Power and Promotion
- A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.
Relationships that we must pursue
- Those who Motivate Your Obedience
- Those who are Guided by Their Character
- Those who Defend You in Your Absence
- Those who Fear Heaven More Than They Love You
- Those who Motivate You to Sow
- Those Assigned to Your Future
- Those who Unlock your Gratitude
The Ripple Effect
- Demonstrate that they are important and valuable
- Prove to them they are cared for and protected
- Show them that they are heard and understood
- Affirm and appreciate them
- When a person feels all of the above,he will be motivated to pursue his or her higher potential, making an impact in your life and in the life of others.
- By activating this ripple effect, you will not just change one life. As you bring exponential, multiplying power to each life you touch, you will eternally change the destiny of multitudes.
Character
- In marriage, character is gentleness.
- In the home, it is respect.
- In business, it is integrity
- In society, it is courtesy.
- In the workplace, it is excellence.
- In sports, it is fairness.
- In relationship, it is kindness.
- To the victor, it is congratulations.
- To the victim, it is protection.
- To falsehood, it is resistance.
- To the less fortunate, it is a hand up.
- To the strong, it is trust.
- To the repentant, it is restoration.
- To yourself, it is absolute truth.
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The Law of Ascent
Walk with the great, and you will become great.
Characteristics
- In marriage, character is gentleness
- In the home, it is respect.
- In business, it is integrity.
- In society, it is courtesy.
- In the workplace, it is excellence.
- In sports, it is fairness.
- In relationship, it is kindness.
- To the victor, it is congratulations.
- To the victim, it is protection.
- To falsehood, it is resistance.
- To the less fortunate, it is a hand up.
- To the strong, it is trust.
- To the repentant, it is restoration.
- To yourself, it is absolute truth.
- And to God, it is reverence, love and commitment.
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The Law of Agreement
It is impossible to walk through life with another, unless the celebration of common values is present.
- Identifying Relationships
- The Non-Negotiables of Relationship
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The Law of Access
There are unspoken rules; Both to access and to remain in relationship.
- Types of Relationship
- Protocol
- Discerning the Correct Posture
- Why Access is Granted
- Why Access Remains
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The Law of Covenant
The mark of a healthy relationship is security, which is a result of trust.
- Covenant
- Conditions and Promises
- More than an Agreement
- A Destitute Generation
- The Character of Covenant
- What's Mine is Yours
- Contribute, don't Compete
- Mutual Covenant Declarations
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The Law of Single Purpose
The celebration of any relationship is dependent upon the clear definition of purpose and vision.
- Write the Vision
- In One Accord
- Built on Truth and Love
- Great Visions Require Great Terms
- Our Future Destination
- Our Common Purpose
- Our Allied Plan of Attack
- Remaining Unified
- Discerning your Brethren
- Dealing with Betrayal
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The Law of Exclusivity
Authentic commitment demands selectivity, not inclusivity.
- Exclusivity or Favoritism
- Protecting the "Circle"
- Can Light and Darkness Co-Exist?
- Qualifying for Relationship
- My Qualifications for Friendship
- Preserving High Standards
- Refuse to Compromise
- Avoiding Dangerous People
- Wolves in Sheep's Clothing
- Relationship Levels
- Nurturing New Relationships
- The Greenhouse Principle
- Excellent Character Commands Exclusivity
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The Law of Transparency
Complete disclosure is an indispensable characteristic of all meaningful relationships.
- Getting Honest with Yourself
- Getting Honest with Others
- 5 Canons of Transparency
- The Power of Truth
- Benefits of Transparency
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The Law of Mutual Benefit
The quality of any relationship is completely dependent upon the willingness of mutual pursuit.
- Why People Seek Relationships
- Givers and Takers
- 9 Facets of Relationship
- Life is Choice, not Chance
- Motives
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The Law of Sacrifice
Sacrifice is the road travelled on the journey to your divine destiny.
- The Cost of Relationship
- The Value of Relationship
- Willing to Invest
- Loving People because You Love God
- Maintenance
- Enemies of Sacrifice
- Sacrifice through Compassion
- Sacrifice through Long-Suffering
- What You Should Never Sacrifice
- Passing the Tests
- 3 Inescapable Tests of Sacrifice
- The Prize is Worth the Price
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The Law of Synergy
One can chase a thousand, but two will put ten thousand to flight.
- The Multiplying Power of Relationship
- Arenas of Synergy
- Created for Interdependence
- Negative Synergy : Multiplications for the Worse
- The Exponential Power of Agreement
- Everybody needs 4 Crazy Friends
- The Promotional Power of Relationships
- Servanthood
- Preparation
- Sowing
- The Ability to Concieve in Relationship
- Activating "The Ripple Effect"
- The Simplicity of Synergy
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The Law of Ascent
Walk with the great, and you will become great.
- Comply with Greatness
- Those Who See what I Cannot See
- Character : The Determiner of Ascent
- Pressing Toward the Mark
- Strong Where I am Weak
- Never Give Up
- Rewards go to Overcomers
- Honoring Fathers