The Wicked X-Witches felt it was best to rank stories based on their specific...rankness.    To that end, we have developed a rating system that will help you identify which stories are likely to make you projectile vomit (as opposed to those that may actually cause  cerebral hemorrhage or other serious injury).

Since we're measuring for evilness, a rating of zero means a story was harmless in a particular category.   A rating of five means it's as evil as they come and a lynching of the author might be in order.

Or at least a revocation of their list-posting privileges for a month.

Evilness Rating   

It's all about readability.   Is the outlay of reader effort worth the result? We generally won't post a story here unless it's really, REALLY bad. Expect high evilness markings on all fics on this site.

Who ARE these people?

Believable characterization, as opposed to 'accurate' characterization.   Departure is acceptable if it's believable in the story's context.   We're all for originality and creativity, but you’ve got to make us buy it, folks. Believing it yourself isn't enough. You're sending your story out to readers, so show them some respect and think about how they'll think about a piece.

BETA is vital for this and every rating category.

This is Swiss' and Yukon's Number One peeve, and you'll see that in their reviews.

I speech goodly

Grammar and use thereof are important, regardless of what Hemingway did.    Midwest will roast you on a spit for infractions of this type.

I R a gud speler

Spelling / Proofreading are also vital.   Midwest is especially irritated by this one, as well she should be. style="mso-spacerun:   You demonstrate tremendous disrespect toward your audience if you don't think enough of them to proofread your story before you post it.

GAK-o-Tron

Sap, goo and shmoop level in romance stories. 0 is good, 5 merits a death sentence.

Swiss Witch despises this.   Manwich will take you to task for it.   He probably won't berate you line-by-line the way the other witches do, but you'll still feel the burn.

Laziness Quotient

Use of clich�s, use of trite or hackneyed language and/or metaphor are all signs of literary laziness.   The Witches detest laziness.   Lazy writers will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.   Mocking is a light sentence, believe us.

Mary Sue Quotient   

Has the author inserted herself/himself into the story? We sure as hell hope not, but just in case, we have this category too.

Since so many of the Mary Sue stories out there are written by the youngsters, Sandwich will most definitely be out on her broom about this particular sin.

Death to Clones

Overused fanfic scenarios/dialogue/descriptions are just cause for a Witchy punishment.   We've read about enough molten cores and rock-hard shafts to warm ourselves in the depths of Antarctica for the remainder of our natural lives.   Find another way to say it.

Yukon especially despises the "benevolent third party" syndrome in which someone (usually Skinner for some ungodly reason) works to bring Mulder and Scully together.

Tundra is absolutely unforgiving about overused fruity goodness in the way our heroes smell.  

And your point was...?

Quality of plot/casefile/smut.   Did the author intend for the reader to come away with a conclusion from the story?   Unanswered questions are also okay, but only if they're intentional.

If, however, the story starts nowhere, goes nowhere and ends nowhere - artlessly - it is evil and therefore must be destroyed.

Witches' Wild Card

The reviewing witch will have the option to add one personal rating category - a personal peeve or something unique to the story that just screams to be rated.